A solution to unemployment.

[Perd Hapley]

http://www.hulu.com/watch/219899/portlandia-portland-unemployment-psa

[AJ Dual]

I want to get one of those (almost) unpickable Abloy padlocks, custom machined out of solid Tungsten Carbide, and sneak up on a guy with huge guaged out ears like that, and lock it shut through the hole, then run away with the key, never to be seen again...

[Perd Hapley]

http://www.hulu.com/watch/210886/portlandia-this-bar-is-over

Obama with gauged ears.

[Bogie]

Uh... I can cut it... It'd take a little while, but I can cut it.

[RoadKingLarry]

I want to get one of those (almost) unpickable Abloy padlocks, custom machined out of solid Tungsten Carbide, and sneak up on a guy with huge guaged out ears like that, and lock it shut through the hole, then run away with the key, never to be seen again...

One of my nephews showed up at the house last week with a huge ring through his lower lip. I had a 6' section of 3/8" chain with a slip hook on one end. I walked up and hung it on the ring. He just kind of stood there and let me do it. I kind of think he didn't think I'd actually do it. He dropped tot he ground like a stone to keep it from pulling the ring out of his lip.
The little peckerhead lived with us for about a year while he was still in school, he stole from me and lied to me, I don't like him much.

[HankB]

One of my nephews showed up at the house last week with a huge ring through his lower lip. I had a 6' section of 3/8" chain with a slip hook on one end. I walked up and hung it on the ring. He just kind of stood there and let me do it. I kind of think he didn't think I'd actually do it. He dropped tot he ground like a stone to keep it from pulling the ring out of his lip. The little peckerhead lived with us for about a year while he was still in school, he stole from me and lied to me, I don't like him much.

Back when the Hare Krishnas were annoying people at airports, I had a female Hare Krishna come up and try to sell me some literature and a peace flower or something. I looked at her closely - facial piercings weren't in vogue yet - and told her "You know, you'd be a very attractive young lady if you didn't poke all those holes in your face - that's a real turn off."

Laughter from other travelers, and a rather perplexed and bemused look on her face.

[Balog]

One of my nephews showed up at the house last week with a huge ring through his lower lip. I had a 6' section of 3/8" chain with a slip hook on one end. I walked up and hung it on the ring. He just kind of stood there and let me do it. I kind of think he didn't think I'd actually do it. He dropped tot he ground like a stone to keep it from pulling the ring out of his lip.
The little peckerhead lived with us for about a year while he was still in school, he stole from me and lied to me, I don't like him much.

This story is made of win, lightly dusted in awesome, and deep fried in hilarity.

[AmbulanceDriver]

frighteningly enough, Portland's mayor is just crazy enough to try something like that.

I'm so glad I live outside Portland proper.

[S. Williamson]

I want to get one of those (almost) unpickable Abloy padlocks, custom machined out of solid Tungsten Carbide, and sneak up on a guy with huge guaged out ears like that, and lock it shut through the hole, then run away with the key, never to be seen again...

Run a chain to a nearby post before locking it to his lobe.  Gives you more time.  

I mean, what?  

Speaking of which, has everyone here seen AAC's (the suppressor manufacturer) welder?

http://www.aacblog.com/?p=1935

Yes, the one on the left. 

[erictank]

Run a chain to a nearby post before locking it to his lobe.  Gives you more time.  

I mean, what?  

Speaking of which, has everyone here seen AAC's (the suppressor manufacturer) welder?

http://www.aacblog.com/?p=1935

Yes, the one on the left. 

Don't know if anyone's watching 'Face Off' on SyFy (the movie-makeup reality TV show) - gauged ears seem to be quite popular on that show.  I think two of the guys have them (both still on, as of the last show I watched - last week's ep, not the just-aired zombie-makeup ep), and the woman who just got eliminated from the show, Jo, has some large-gauge earrings.

I don't get it, myself.

[Angel Eyes]

I don't get it, myself.

It's a convenient place to put your car keys?

[MicroBalrog]

Extensive body modification is awesome. Even if I dare not do it myself.

[erictank]

Extensive body modification is awesome. Even if I dare not do it myself.

Ehn.  If that's your thing, good on ya and all that.  I'll just say it's not for me and I don't find it attractive, and I'll leave it at that.

[Perd Hapley]

Extensive body modification is awesome.

Why?

[MicroBalrog]

Why?

Well, it depends on how you view the human body.

Do you view the human body as a man's property, or as a gift from God that needs to be kept chaste?  This isn't a joke question.

[Perd Hapley]

Well, it depends on how you view the human body. Do you view the human body as a man's property, or as a gift from God that needs to be kept chaste? 

Oh, I guess both, maybe. Personally, I can't think of any material thing that doesn't belong to God, so the dichotomy you pose really isn't one, to me.

It's not that I'm objecting to body modification, so much as questioning why "extenisve body modification is awesome." Why do you like the extensive kind, and why is not just OK, but awesome?

[MicroBalrog]

Oh, I guess both, maybe. Personally, I can't think of any material thing that doesn't belong to God, so the dichotomy you pose really isn't one, to me.

It's not that I'm objecting to body modification, so much as questioning why "extenisve body modification is awesome." Why do you like the extensive kind, and why is not just OK, but awesome?

I hope nobody minds that I respond so late to this. I only now respond to this because I only now spotted it.

The answer is: Because I like seeing people who go "Sure, I'm born with a body which is not the shape I like. I'm now going to go out and upgrade the parts I don't like, in the same way I upgrade my computer casing. Here's $500. I want a huge screaming eagle drawn across my back. And a glowing light in my nose like Rudolph." It seems to me that the more we have people who aren't afraid to do this, the more shiny upgrades will be available on the market. Perhaps tomorrow it'll be something I actually want.

[Jocassee]

I hope nobody minds that I respond so late to this. I only now respond to this because I only now spotted it.

The answer is: Because I like seeing people who go "Sure, I'm born with a body which is not the shape I like. I'm now going to go out and upgrade the parts I don't like, in the same way I upgrade my computer casing. Here's $500. I want a huge screaming eagle drawn across my back. And a glowing light in my nose like Rudolph." It seems to me that the more we have people who aren't afraid to do this, the more shiny upgrades will be available on the market. Perhaps tomorrow it'll be something I actually want.

I suppose within the realm of science/medicine there may one day be actual useful upgrades to the human body to give us capabilities beyond what we have now. I don't draw a hard philosophical distinction so much as a practical one which is that gauged earlobes are ugly, along with stupid/excessive tatsm whereas having a computer in my brain would be great, as long as it wasn't running Windows.

Though my belief's are similar to Fistful's I don't see any way to make an explicit theological objection to either of the above (even if I wanted to, which I don't).

Being a minimalist/purist, I would say guaging, face piercings, and ugly tats are the body equivalent of bubbaing a beautiful classic weapon (which may be very good, if not perfect, in its original conception). 9 times out of ten, you're going to make it look or function worse. However a true craftsman/artist can alter it into something that may be better functioning or more aesthetically pleasing,

[RevDisk]

I want to get one of those (almost) unpickable Abloy padlocks, custom machined out of solid Tungsten Carbide, and sneak up on a guy with huge guaged out ears like that, and lock it shut through the hole, then run away with the key, never to be seen again...

Have one of those. PL362

Believe it or not, more secure than the padlocks mandated for securing nuclear weapons. And no "almost". I know people that own and have picked the S&G 951C, which costs $1.5k. I've never even heard a rumor of picking an Abloy.





Eh. I'm not as enthusiastic about it as Boris, but I've seen some interesting body mod. Had a friend that was an awesome coder.  Made serious coin.  She had half of her head shaved, with a very nice crisp tribal tattoo, the other side was purple and reached her waist. New execs would about have an aneurysm. She kept a price sheet on the wall of her office.  $10k for removing the visible piercings, $30k for the hair color, $50k for covering the tats, etc. I think the main bosses put up with it as much for messing with the vendors/partners as much as her good work (she was the lead coder/architect). She could be quite merciless in her technical reviews.

If you're into body mods, you WILL be perceived as unacceptably unprofessional unless you're at almost deity level of skill, or work in more informal environments. Standard businesses? Not so much. Part of the price of art, I suppose. Problem is, most folks with highly visible body mods reinforce the unprofessional demeanor and lack of judgment.

[Tallpine]

I have a different set of weirdness: I show up in cowboy boots, jeans, long-leeved snap shirt, and bandana around my neck. 

Honestly that is way better dressed than some people I've met in offices 

[MicroBalrog]

I don't know about highly-visible body-mods - never personally met anybody who had modified themselves to the extent that Revdisk outlines, but I've met quite a few people with facial piercings/tattoos who are quite successful commercially. In fact I know three people with various unconventionally-placed piercings who teach at TAU.

Then again, the whole reason I have the acquired the set of professional skills that I have is to avoid working at 'restrictive environments."

[Hawkmoon]

Well, it depends on how you view the human body.

Do you view the human body as a man's property, or as a gift from God that needs to be kept chaste?  This isn't a joke question.

Since you ask:

If G-d (and that's assuming, of course, that there is a G-d) created man in His own image, and if we start with the premise that G-d is perfect, it then follows that Man is perfect as G-d created him (them/us). So if we are perfect as G-d created us, is it not heretical and/or blasphemous to presume to modify G-d's perfect creation?

[Monkeyleg]

I like silicone breasts as much as natural ones (unless the surgeon did a bad job), so I can't legitimately pass judgement on other body modifications.

Having said that, I've never had the desire to fondle body piercings.

[41magsnub]

A few weeks ago there was a strange one.  At a pizza shop a few doors down from my office the chick at the counter was wearing the lowest of the low front jeans.  She definitely shaves down there since most of her pubic mound was exposed.  The mound had a huge tattoo of a butterfly and had a metal rod pierced under the skin vertically.  She was reasonably hot, but the combination of things was pretty gross.

[MicroBalrog]

Being a minimalist/purist, I would say guaging, face piercings, and ugly tats are the body equivalent of bubbaing a beautiful classic weapon (which may be very good, if not perfect, in its original conception).