All of you forgot one thing: a real "biker" has to have been to Sturgis at least once. Preferably with the bike in a trailer, so as to keep the bugs off.
I wrote a song called "The Sturgis Song." I wrote it in my head, then typed it up and got it copyrighted. But I'll be damned if I can find a written copy of it around the house.
Anyway, I wrote it in my head while headed back to WI from the western states in late August, and having to deal with all of the HD posers in the mountains who were hogging the turns. I didn't ride all that way to putt-putt through the mountain turns. I wanted to enjoy the challenging curves of the Rockies. By the time I got to Buffalo, WY, I was ready to shoot any HD rider I saw.
So, the following is just from memory, and goes by a Zydeco tempo:
"We're all goin' to Sturgis
We're goin' to tear up that town.
But we don't ride our motorcycles.
We're just going to trailer 'em down.
We'll stand around for a week or so,
Lookin' like real bad men.
But when our wives yell "c'mon home!"
We'll trailer 'em back again.
Now Killer Joe's got a custom trailer,
they painted it orange Day-Glow,
With custom wheels and custom lights,
it always wins the best of show.
It's got a stainless ramp,
air suspension, makes for a cushy ride.
But in all the years he's been comin' to Sturgis,
I never seen a bike inside.
Hammer Claw hails from Rapid City.
Drinks his beer outta rusty pails.
But he don't ride his bike to Sturgis,
Says it f***s up his nails.
Meatcleaver's an accountant from Chicago,
he's a biker like the rest of us.
But he don't ride his bike to Sturgis,
Comes in on a Greyhound bus.
Dirty Clyde's got a big tattoo
of a woman with bodacious charms.
But he can't stand around in the rain,
or it'll just dribble down his arm.
There's Killer Joe, Hammer Claw,
Meatcleaver and Dirty Clyde.
We got all the leathers the dealers sell,
but we really don't like to ride.
I hope you enjoyed our trailer rally,
and that you'll be back next year.
But please don't ride your bikes to Sturgis,
'cause everyone will think you're weird."
