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Author Topic: Little Kid Humor  (Read 9359 times)

Terpsichore

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Little Kid Humor
« on: September 08, 2011, 08:40:50 PM »
Little boy and dad come through my line at work...(fyi,the lil boy had to be no more than five)
Kid:  "Wanna hear a joke?"
Me:  "Sure, why not?"
Kid:  "Why does a gorilla have big nose holes?"
Me:  "No idea.  Why?"
Kid:  (Very proud he can tell this joke btw) "Because he has big fingers."  He giggles, his dad turns red and tries to apologize.  I thought it was the cutest thing that the lil guy wanted to share his joke with me.  Nothing is so cute as little kid humor.  It's so innocent.

Here's the question....Best little kid joke ever?
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grislyatoms

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2011, 08:57:25 PM »
I told my Grandad this one when I was 7 or so... he thought it was pretty good. Can't recall where I first heard it.

"A lion had just taken down the biggest, meanest Cape Buffalo in existence.
The lion was so pleased, she roared and roared over her victory. A hunter heard the roaring, found the lion, and shot her dead"

Moral of the story: "When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."

Not the best, but anyway.

Welcome aboard!
« Last Edit: September 08, 2011, 09:28:46 PM by grislyatoms »
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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2011, 09:52:54 PM »
Dirty Joke: Kid falls in a mud puddle.
Clean Joke: Kid takes a bath. 
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makattak

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2011, 09:53:05 PM »
My mom loves to tell this story.

When I was five, I loved to tell jokes. One of my favorites, at the time:

Why did the chicken cross the road?





To keep his pants up!




And apparently, I'd just laugh and laugh... Kind of like I do now.
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I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought

AJ Dual

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2011, 09:59:24 PM »
I wish I could be a stand-up comedian for children. It would be the easiest job ever.

HEY CINCINATTI! HOWYA DOIN? GREAT NIGHT HUH? GLAD YOU COULD ALL COME OUT! GREAT CROWD... GREAT CROWD...

Anyway kids, listen up...

POOP!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY! YOU WERE GREAT!

I'll be here all month, then from October 2nd through 24th, I'll be at the Luxor in Vegas, then from November 5th to the 19th I'll be in Atlantic City, tell your friends! Good night!
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Terpsichore

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2011, 10:02:55 PM »
Quote from: Physics on September 08, 2011, 09:52:54 PM
Dirty Joke: Kid falls in a mud puddle.
Clean Joke: Kid takes a bath. 

Definition of perfect pitch:  A banjo going in the dumpster without hitting the sides.

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bedlamite

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2011, 10:05:31 PM »
Quote from: Terpsichore on September 08, 2011, 10:02:55 PM
Definition of perfect pitch:  A banjo going in the dumpster without hitting the sides.




Why are bagpipe players always walking?

They're trying to get away from that horrible noise.
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Scout26

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2011, 10:09:54 PM »
Currently the funniest joke in the universe of 10-11 year old boys in Wheaton is the one I (cleaned up a bit and) told my son on the way to Iowa:

Q: What is the last thing to pass through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

A: Its Butt.


It gets told 5,000 times per day and never gets old.  In fact, it gets the same roars of laughter the 4,999th time they tell it to each other as when it was told it The. 1st. Time. Ever.  


(AJ, here's a Helpful Hint for your comedy act: Any joke that has "Its Butt" as the punchline will become the absolute funniest joke in the 10-11 year old boy universe.  The girls will laugh too, just not out loud and will only tell the joke to each other in secret.)

« Last Edit: September 09, 2011, 03:38:18 AM by scout26 »
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cosine

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2011, 10:15:01 PM »
Quote from: bedlamite on September 08, 2011, 10:05:31 PM

Why are bagpipe players always walking?

They're trying to get away from that horrible noise.

What's the definition of a minor second?

Two piccolos playing in unison.
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Andy

AJ Dual

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2011, 10:46:03 PM »
Quote from: scout26 on September 08, 2011, 10:09:54 PM
Currently the funniest joke in the universe of 10-11 year old boys in Wheaton is the one I (cleaned up a bit) and told my son on the way to Iowa:

Q: What is the last thing to pass through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?

A: Its Butt.


It gets told 5,000 times per day and never gets old.  In fact, it gets the same roars of laughter the 4,999th time they tell it to each other as when it was told it The. 1st. Time. Ever.  


(AJ, here's a Helpful Hint for your comedy act: Any joke that has "Its Butt" as a the punchline will become the absolute funniest joke in the 10-11 year old boy universe.  The girls will laugh too, just not out loud and will only tell the joke to each other in secret.)

You don't know my daughters. They feed off each other, and will get goofy at the dinner table, having burp contests, and having conversations where every other word is poop, pee, farts, and butt..

Mrs. Dual was driving the brood home from school yesterday, and asked each one what she learned. Alice, one of the younger twins, exclaimed "Tall people have long penises, and short people have little penises."

Mrs. Dual had to correct her, and refine her query to what they learned in class, not the playground.  :laugh:
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2011, 10:50:30 PM »
Quote from: cosine on September 08, 2011, 10:15:01 PM
What's the definition of a minor second?

Two piccolos playing in unison.

This is some kind of band geek joke? Do not get.


What is a pirate's favorite letter?
Rrrrr?
You'd think so, but actually, it's the C.


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makattak

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2011, 11:07:04 PM »
Quote from: fistful on September 08, 2011, 10:50:30 PM
This is some kind of band geek joke? Do not get.


What is a pirate's favorite letter?
Rrrrr?
You'd think so, but actually, it's the C.




Absolutely awesome joke.

And yes, that's obviously a band geek joke.

Related:

How do you get two altos to sing in unison?




Shoot one.
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I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought

Strings

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2011, 11:27:35 PM »
And does everyone know how to get a musician off their porch?














Pay for the pizza
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2011, 01:06:20 AM »
Quote from: makattak on September 08, 2011, 11:07:04 PM
Absolutely awesome joke.

The pirate joke, or the band joke?
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BridgeRunner

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2011, 03:34:03 AM »
Old MacDonald had a farm
EIEIO

And on his farm he had some PANTS!!!!

Cue hysterical shrieking giggling.

Yeah, I don't get it either.
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Terpsichore

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2011, 06:54:08 AM »
Quote from: BridgeRunner on September 09, 2011, 03:34:03 AM
Old MacDonald had a farm
EIEIO

And on his farm he had some PANTS!!!!

Cue hysterical shrieking giggling.

Yeah, I don't get it either.

Big joke with my little girl right now:  Pudding.
I don't get it, but apparently "pudding" is extremely funny on the playground right now, and she will bust a gut laughing.  I'm talking full out eyes watering, snorting, guffah's here.
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There is something relaxing in working with sharp pointy things.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

mtnbkr

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #16 on: September 09, 2011, 07:12:31 AM »
My 3yo's favorite joke is a knock-knock joke she came up with:

Her: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Chocolate.
Me: <sigh> Chocolate who?
Her: Iccce Creeaaaaammmm!
Me:  ???
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bedlamite

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #17 on: September 09, 2011, 07:32:59 AM »
Quote from: mtnbkr on September 09, 2011, 07:12:31 AM
My 3yo's favorite joke is a knock-knock joke she came up with:

Her: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Chocolate.
Me: <sigh> Chocolate who?
Her: Iccce Creeaaaaammmm!
Me:  ???

Next time your reply shoud be "with little bits of corn inside, topped with carrot shavings"
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makattak

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2011, 08:44:20 AM »
Quote from: fistful on September 09, 2011, 01:06:20 AM
The pirate joke, or the band joke?

The pirate joke. I have a friend that just loves bad jokes, and he'll think it's hilarious. (I, too, love bad jokes.)
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I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought

Jamie B

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #19 on: September 09, 2011, 08:45:52 AM »
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

A: By his tracks in the peanut butter.
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vaskidmark

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #20 on: September 09, 2011, 09:10:21 AM »
Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stomping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

First one with the correct answer does not have to listen to the groans.

stay safe.
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wmenorr67

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #21 on: September 09, 2011, 09:13:17 AM »
Quote from: vaskidmark on September 09, 2011, 09:10:21 AM
Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stomping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

First one with the correct answer does not have to listen to the groans.

stay safe.

From stomping out burning ducks.  Groan. :facepalm:
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makattak

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #22 on: September 09, 2011, 10:18:10 AM »
How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?


He paints his toenails red!!!
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I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought

Tallpine

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #23 on: September 09, 2011, 12:06:15 PM »
What do you do if you're trapped inside an elephant and can't get out?

Run back and forth until you're pooped out.

 =D
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Harold Tuttle

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Re: Little Kid Humor
« Reply #24 on: September 09, 2011, 12:18:11 PM »
Whats brown and sticky?

a stick
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