Telemarketers.

[BlueStarLizzard]

the only amusing story i've ever had regarding unsolicited phone calls, was when the army recruiters called. it was about 8 in the morning and i was half asleep (this was back in the days were i usually got up after noon).

we chatted for about 30 minutes. i always wondered how incoherent that conversasion was from his point of veiw. i figure the only reason he kept talking, was becuase i was amusingly stupid.

right now we have a service that forces folks to identify themselves to a machine if their number doesn't show up on caller id. the machine telemarkting systems seem to be confused by it.

[Bogie]

Was at a friend's place, got a call from a timeshare outfit...
 
"Do you have hot tubs at the resort?"
 
"Yes."
 
"You sound kinda cute. Would you like to hot tub with me?"
 
-click-
 
And that one will work with EITHER sex. Because we liked it so well we tried it with other "vacation" callers...
 

[robear]

I know this has been posted before, but this is really funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8

-R

[Balog]

Was at a friend's place, got a call from a timeshare outfit...
 
"Do you have hot tubs at the resort?"
 
"Yes."
 
"You sound kinda cute. Would you like to hot tub with me?"
 
-click-
 
And that one will work with EITHER sex. Because we liked it so well we tried it with other "vacation" callers...
 

I live near Seattle dude. They'd be asking for my address.

[K Frame]

I frequently get people starting into a sales spiel because my answering machine message trips the voice detector on the auto dial unit.

I had one of these on my machine last night when I got home.

Stupid woman on the other end of the line just kept saying "Hello? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?" until my machine cut off at the 1 minute limit!

God what an idiot!

[Tallpine]

Never say the word "yes" to anything, including "are you mr. so-and-so?"

They will record it, and edit it to a question like "do you want to pay 25 million dollars to switch to our long distance service?"   

[Desertdog]

I have the message service with the phone company.  I think I am going to drop it and get an answering machine again.  Much easier to deal with. 

Use the money you save by buying your own machine to buy mptor fuel.

I TRY to be nice , but there are exceptions that if they don't hang up on my reply I just hange up.

My stadard reply is; I do not respond to ANY telephone solicitation.  Please put me on your do not call list.

Had one the other day that hung up as I said, "I do not respond to ANY telephone solicitation."  She didn't didn't even  say goodby.

[grislyatoms]

I say "not interested" and hang up.

Door-to-door solicitors get the same treatment. "Not interested" and close the door.

The ones that really irk the crap out of me are the "Please hold the line for an important message." I get those at work a lot. I'll transfer them to a different line and put THEM on hold. Indefinitely.

Actually, come to think about it, I did fall for those a few times in the beginning, thinking it was a long-distance operator with urgent family news or something.

After a few refrains of "Hello, this is Neil, have you heard about our wonderful product..." I learned better.

[Werewolf]

I don't, or rarely, get telemarketers anymore. That national no call list thing really works.

BUT!

I do seem to get a lot of wrong numbers.

I especially like those from a guy asking for a girl. Not original but what I do is this:

Think the movie Ruthless People
Think Danny DaVito
Think wrong number
Think no she can't talk right now she's got my....

Well - if you'e seen the movie you know what came next.

Mostly the phone just goes clik. Occassionaly I get threatened. Sometimes they don't believe me.

The best though was the guy who asked if I could take a break for a bit - he just needed to talk to her for a minute or so.

[K Frame]

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.

FUNNY scene...

As was Bette Middlers' "I've been kidnapped by K Mart!"