I had heard about these "Sovereign Citizen" types before. From my reading about them, I knew they were increasing in number across the country. Despite this, I never really expected to come into contact with one. So, you can imagine my surprise when it happened. What was absolutely astounding was this guy decided to confront me in person, on my own property.
"So, you are a sovereign citizen? The papers you just handed me declare that my property now belongs to you. Is that your claim?"
The sovereign citizen nodded, "Yes, sir. This property is my ancestral home. You must vacate the premises immediately so that I can take up residence."
It was hard to stifle a cutting reply after his bold statement, but I succeed with some effort. I skimmed through the stack of paperwork he had handed me, amazed at the utter absurdity of the various claims it made. After reading the documents, I wanted to laugh in his stupid face but again managed to control myself.
Trying not to smile I replied, "Interestingly enough, I am a sovereign citizen myself. Federal, state and local laws do not apply to me, especially on my own property."
The idiot stares at me, not knowing quite how to respond. Maybe he thinks I am a kindred spirit or something. I ask him a question. "Do you think your family will miss you after you disappear without a trace?"
It takes a few seconds for my question to register in his feeble brain. When it finally dawns on him what is being implied, he turns and runs away, but not without tripping and performing an awesome faceplant in a pile of dog poo. I'm really not sure why my foot shot out like that. I pick up my shovel and continue cleaning up after the dogs.
[edited for clarity and sentence construction.]