Well, I've gone and done it now....

[TarpleyG]

I am 38 years old.  Been married for almost 7 years, happily I might add.  My wife and I have discussed having children since we became "serious" some 10 years ago.  Well, now she's "with child"...about 17 weeks now.  It's a little girl named Hannah.

Now, this post is not one of those "I'm a proud Daddy" posts (although I am but I am not here to solicit congratulatory responses) but more of a "what the hell am I gonna do now" posts.  I am happy and excited but I am also a little worried.  You know, worried about stuff like what J.J. is going through or what a co-worker of mine is going through with his little boy...worried something could go wrong at any time.  I have another co-worker/friend whose little boy has autism.  How would I go about handling something like that?

My SIL just had twins last year so I have been slowly introduced to the baby thing and that's not what I am concerned about.  What I am concerned about is that I am now responsible for someone...completely responsible...and it's freaking me out a tad.

Anyway, just thought I'd see what suggestions you all had since it appears a good deal of you have been through this.  Deep down in my gut I know that everything will be all right but it doesn't keep that gnawing feeling at bay.

Thanks,
Greg

[The Rabbi]

Things always appear worse than they really are.  Your chances of having anything wrong with the baby at all are probably minimal.  The chances of anything being seriously wrong are negligible.
You'll handle everything just fine.  Lots of people with lots less resources do OK.

[wmenorr67]

Don't fret.  Everything will seem second nature after a couple of days with the newborn.

[ilbob]

I would not worry about things that might or might not be. It serves no purpose. Make sure mom takes care of herself. That is about the best thing she can do for the baby.

Just think, your baby will go off to college when you are in your late fifties, and will probably still be living with you when you retire !

[mtnbkr]

What they said...

"Doing the right thing" is almost always obvious.  There aren't too many "big choices" and most of those come after the 2nd or 3rd year.  The first year is all about keeping the kid fed, clean, and well.

Chris

[280plus]

What I am concerned about is that I am now responsible for someone...completely responsible...and it's freaking me out a tad.

Welcome to fatherhood! 

[grampster]

Heh, heh.  Now the good news.  That gnawing feeling?  It never goes away.  Then when they grow up and get married? It starts all over again...rather it intensifies when the grandchildren start coming.

You are also now second fiddle in the pecking order with your bride, also.

Now, a bit of advice.  When the kids get to the point where they are playing both of you off each other, always stick together.  That will be hard because swmbo will be overly protective if they are boys and you will want to give them their head.
The opposite will be true with girls.  The children will take advantage of that every chance they get.  Contrary to what most parents say about their kids, they will not always tell you the truth.  Kids do not learn how to be bad...they are born with that gene.  They need to be trained up to be good.

You will be wise to understand that you need to put your life on hold a bit and direct your energy toward your children, especially with respect to education.  The government schools will be contaminating them, and so will the friends they have who have bad parents.  Once the kids get older, you get a semblance of your life back.  It is worth the wait.

[RocketMan]

Use the "Barrel Method" to raise the youngster.  You will be fine.

[Ex-MA Hole]

The worry and anxiety you are feeling?  It's called "being a Dad".  Welcome to the club.  Oh, and don't worry.  It'll get worse!



Mark
Proud parent of the prettiest little 2 1/2 year old girl in the world.

[woodcdi]

Your worry and concern tells me you have the conscience necessary to arise to whatever gets laid on your lap. You'll be a loving, caring parent. Fret not.

Woody

[Laurent du Var]

Grandpa :
Heh, heh.  Now the good news.  That gnawing feeling?  It never goes away.

So true ! But to care for your children with all your heart, mind and money will
make you a good human being, this is your one shot to achieve greatness in life and boy is it worth it. When little Hannah is born you'll look into her eyes all she'll see is what you could see through a soapy window while she is knowing perfectly
well who you are and you, well I don't know about you but when it happened to me with my children on that very moment I've seen a miracle.   

[Art Eatman]

Raising a baby only hits two ways:  A lot less sleep, and a lot less disposable income. :D:D

They get older; it gets worse.

Art

[K Frame]

You could have had a dog, but no, you had to let that puppy out of its pen.

Smart move... 

[Ex-MA Hole]

Funny story (to me atleast, pretend to find it amusing)-

When my wife went fer her first Ultrasound for Samantha, we had this 95 year old woman doing it.  She was the kind of person that had died probably 15-20 years ago, and someone forgot to bury her.

Nice lady, but she wasn't all there.  Not even 1/2 there.

My Wife and I were very nervous, because the last "first" ultrasound that we went to ended up being a miscarriage.

As soon as I say my little one moving, I was speachless.  My Wife was, too.

Suddenly, I had a momentary lapse of stupidity.

I started asking where the tail was.  My Wife kept telling me to stop.  I was getting louder- "Where's the tail?  Where's the tail"?

The woman asked what I was talking about (mind you, I'm 31 at the time).  I tell her that I was promised a puppy, and why didn't the thing inside my Wife have a tail?

My Wife kept telling me to shut up, and this sweet little old lady proceeded to give me a lecture on the birds and the bees.

I kept nodding and pretending to understand.  When she was all done, I again asked where the tail was.

At this time my Wife told me to shut up, and explained to the woman that I was joking.  She took one look at me and gave an angry sigh and walked out.

[K Frame]

Well, obviously, the woman's sense of humor had been buried...

[grampster]

So was it a German Shepherd or one of them yappy little dogs?   

[Ex-MA Hole]

So was it a German Shepherd or one of them yappy little dogs?   

Yorkie/Great Dane mix.

[AJ Dual]

Funny story (to me atleast, pretend to find it amusing)-...
At this time my Wife told me to shut up, and explained to the woman that I was joking.  She took one look at me and gave an angry sigh and walked out.

 

After we'd learned my wife was pregnant with our second set of twins within three months of our first set, (yes, you heard that right&) I photochopped a random picture of a crowded party from the web by grey-scaling it, then pixelating it to look fuzzy, then cut and pasted it into the wedge shaped area of an ultrasound pic.

Then I went and e-mailed it out to my family.

[Ex-MA Hole]

AJ-

I'm running out of fingers and toes trying to count your family.

Let me go out on a limb-

Y'all don't have a VW Beetle as your family car?

[AJ Dual]

Just four, the two sets of girls. The first are fraternal twins 2 1/2, the second set are identical 1 and 1/2, thier birthdays are 23 days (short of a year) apart. We fit in a regular mini-van, but getting the older girls buckled into their seats in the third row is a bit of a pain.

The deal was that if the second set was born naturally, I had to go see the urologist, if it was a C-section, Mrs. Dual got her plumbing done instead since they'd already be digging around in there.

It was a C-section so I was spared sitting on a bag of frozen peas.

[Ex-MA Hole]

Four girls and a Wife?

Dude- I don't envy you in 10-12 years!!!

As far as the bag-o-peas, I may be spared of that, too.

Sammi was a C-section baby.  My Wife was told that the next one will probably go that way, too.

Works for me!!!

[Lee]

Congrats! I was in your shoes 11 years ago...but with twins.  I wouldn't trade fatherhood for Bill Gate's bank account.  It's hard at times...but makes my life meaningful. Spring break started for my girls today.  They had a sleep-over last night at our house with two other girls-over my objections-mom said OK.  Mom falls asleep easily and is a sound sleeper -unlike myself.  I was up at midnight telling them to be quiet (for the 5th time), and here I am ready to walk out the door for work at 6:30 am.
Every new father should rent/buy the movie "Raising Arizona" - funny stuff.  Best of luck to you and your wife.   

[grislyatoms]

Don't worry, you'll do just fine.

The birth was a bit strange for me. I mean, I knew about how it worked and all but... to actually see it happen... My first thought was "Wow, it really does work like that!". It wasn't scary though, just... I can't describe it. Folks who have been through it will know what I am talking about.

The only "hard" part was when the Dr. asked me if I would like to cut the cord. I looked at the scissors... the cord... the placenta... then the Dr. advised me to sit down and put my head between my knees until blood flow to my brain was restored. The placenta is very eerie looking. I'll leave it at that.

Anyway, I was worried too, right until I held my daughter for the first time. Looking down at her I knew everything was going to be just fine because I realized there was NOTHING I wouldn't do for my kiddo. The same thing will happen to you.

I wouldn't trade fatherhood for Bill Gate's bank account.  It's hard at times...but makes my life meaningful.   

Nor would I, and you are right.

[woodcdi]

AJ-

I'm running out of fingers and toes trying to count your family.

Let me go out on a limb-

Y'all don't have a VW Beetle as your family car?

You brought back a fond memory, ex-ma hole. 1956, my Dad brought home a brand new VW Beetle. Every family outing was a test of closeness for us. My self and my two older brothers sat in the back seat. My two younger sisters crouched in the space behind the back seat. My mother sat in the pasenger seat, very pregnant with what soon became my third sister - who soon rode in my Mother's lap. My Dad was the only comfortable one among the lot of us. Now, Imagine eight cramped, heavily breathing soles in a vehicle known for not having an effective window defroster, headed to church on those cold winter Massachusetts sunday mornings.

Two years later, my Dad came home with a small station wagon. A "Simca" stationwagon. At least we all had a place to sit.

Woody

  

[wmenorr67]

The day my son was born was the happiest day in my life.  The most surprising thing is that every ultra sound showed that he was supposed to be a she.  When he was born and the Dr. stated I had a son I just about fainted and then started crying.  The only day that comes close to matching that day in happiest is the day I married his mother and his sister became my daughter.