Author Topic: Padlocked Testicles (Read 6288 times)

Ben · « **on:** August 10, 2005, 02:30:38 PM »

1) That was no friend (if there in fact was a friend).
2) I wonder how much the locksmith charged?

---------------------------
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/irresistible/4817987/detail.html

Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock
Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 3:39 pm EDT August 5, 2005
UPDATED: 10:42 am EDT August 6, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a Brentwood man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

Guest · « **Reply #1 on:** August 10, 2005, 03:36:38 PM »

With friends like that?

mtnbkr · « **Reply #2 on:** August 10, 2005, 03:47:45 PM »

Then again, there are people who pay for that kind of treatment.

Chris

Greg L · « **Reply #3 on:** August 10, 2005, 04:18:09 PM »

He was drunk when it was put on.
He was drunk when the police showed up.

A 2 week bender? I think I would have done something more a little more proactive during the intervening time frame.

Jamisjockey · « **Reply #4 on:** August 10, 2005, 04:22:11 PM »

Comeon, he had a padlock on his nutz. I would have stayed drunk, too!

grampster · « **Reply #5 on:** August 10, 2005, 05:45:40 PM »

The w BAL channel?? cheesy

Lee · « **Reply #6 on:** August 10, 2005, 05:46:40 PM »

His friend was treated for lock-jaw.

Strings · « **Reply #7 on:** August 10, 2005, 06:14:53 PM »

>and the hospital said he had no lasting injury<

And THAT statement folks, is the true tragedy. He's still able to breed...

Norton · « **Reply #8 on:** August 11, 2005, 01:50:36 AM »

Not to be too graphic.....but couldn't he tried a soak in a tub of cold water?

griz · « **Reply #9 on:** August 11, 2005, 03:56:26 AM »

Gives new meaning to locking up your jewels.

50 Shooter · « **Reply #10 on:** August 11, 2005, 10:24:40 AM »

I don't know what's worse, this story or the fact that he buddy was fondling his private parts.

Wonder what he would've done if he woke up with a used condom hanging out of his butt? Shocked

esheato · « **Reply #11 on:** August 11, 2005, 04:51:54 PM »

Wanna go camping?

(hopefully someone is familiar with the original joke)

Phyphor · « **Reply #12 on:** August 11, 2005, 06:06:02 PM »

Some people are just too damned stupid to be allowed to breed. How the hell does one get so drunk that they could let someone handle their balls, lock 'em up, and THEN let it sit for like 2 weeks? Um, wouldn't all that weight hangin' off his crotch be a wee bit umcomfortable? Huh?

Winston Smith · « **Reply #13 on:** August 11, 2005, 06:35:07 PM »

Esheato: Lollerpocalypse now

esheato · « **Reply #14 on:** August 11, 2005, 08:28:02 PM »

Winston, I fear I'm getting too old, at 28, to understand the new vocabulary. Sad

Care to help me out?

Ed

Winston Smith · « **Reply #15 on:** August 11, 2005, 08:29:57 PM »

Lol... ROFL... ROTLFMAO... etcetera... get a little annoying sometimes. So to switch it up some people use such creations as roflcopter, lollertron, or lollerpocalypse.

esheato · « **Reply #16 on:** August 11, 2005, 08:48:18 PM »

Ahh...I'll test it out on some young computer savvy peeps I know.

The offer still stands by the way, who wants to go camping?

esheato · « **Reply #17 on:** August 11, 2005, 09:32:04 PM »

Whoa...I just got an education.

Sorry for hijacking your thread BenW.

Jamisjockey · « **Reply #18 on:** August 11, 2005, 09:44:04 PM »

Quote from: esheato

Wanna go camping?

(hopefully someone is familiar with the original joke)

I am! good stuff....
Just don't be the first one to pass out drunk....

esheato · « **Reply #19 on:** August 11, 2005, 11:03:36 PM »

ROFLcraft...

I don't care who you are, that's some funny sh.....well, ya know.

Ed

Antibubba · « **Reply #20 on:** August 12, 2005, 02:05:53 AM »

Actually, if you're careless enough to get that drunk, and so indiscreet in your choice of friends, then maybe locking up the little guys isn't such a bad idea. Maybe this guy can start a trend.

Ben · « **Reply #21 on:** August 12, 2005, 05:35:29 AM »

Quote

Sorry for hijacking your thread BenW.

Hey, no problemo. I still have no idea what the hell you guys are talking about though. Tongue

USP45usp · « **Reply #22 on:** August 12, 2005, 10:57:33 AM »

Priceless

.

But, when we were all young, didn't we do stupid sh!t to our friends Cheesy

. And if you had a padlock around your nutz, would you be in a hurry to call up the EMT's (or go to the hospital)? And lastly..... PRICELESS!!!!!!

Wayne

ps, if you were the friend, would you risk showing your face for awhile Cheesy

Waitone · « **Reply #23 on:** August 12, 2005, 01:03:26 PM »

I wonder if the insurance company broke out in a rash over a locksmith's charges.

Did anyone else wince at the word "hacksaw"?

saxman357 · « **Reply #24 on:** August 14, 2005, 11:27:04 AM »

Quote from: Waitone

Did anyone else wince at the word "hacksaw"?

You bet. And for the record, I highly doubt there was a "friend" involved.

News:

Author Topic: Padlocked Testicles (Read 6288 times)

Guest

Strings