Oklahoma botches double execution. Crap.

[KD5NRH]

Beheading can either be quick and virtually painless or slow and agonizing.  Either way works for me.

Same for hanging.

For that matter, firing squads can be equipped with BB guns for maximum environmentally friendly reusability.

[roo_ster]

Same for hanging.

For that matter, firing squads can be equipped with BB guns for maximum environmentally friendly reusability.

Recently I read about a .50cal airgun used to hunt African bufflebeast.

[KD5NRH]

Recently I read about a .50cal airgun used to hunt African bufflebeast.

Firing squads don't really need long range accuracy, so a smoothbore shooting half inch ball bearings should be ideal.  I bet a bearing would stay well within tolerance for hundreds of shots.

[wmenorr67]

Now a bunch of taxpayers money is going to be spent to investigate how this happened and the other bastard gets to live at least another 14 days.  I say we start outsourcing executions to other countries that seem to be able to get it right and people don't really give a damn if the condemn suffers or not.  Hell we outsource everything else.

[lupinus]

Quick effective with minimal fuss and fee?

Take all those nice fancy lethal injection tables or chairs and retrofit them with a doughnut shaped head piece and cattle gun on a swing arm. Strap convicted SOB in, swing cattle gun into position behind the head, push button and send the bolt up into the brain bucket severing the brain stem and turning everything else up there into scrambled eggs. No missing, no "oops" that prolong the death, no multiple sticks to get it right, no "we're not supplying you with those drugs anymore" or medical industry moral dilemmas, instant death about as guaranteed as you can make it, reusable, cheap, and leaves everything else intact for organ harvesting and such. Hell, if you want to do the not knowing who flipped the switch thing, it should even be easy enough to rig up a multi-button control panel with a computer randomly selecting which button is the hot button for each execution.

[griz]

I had a friend who maintained that the anticipation was the "cruel" part, so we should have a hydraulic press with a cyclic time of micro seconds.  I think he was at least halfway serious about his flyswatter method.

But we aren't ever going to do that, and I think the term humane execution is an oxymoron.  To me the closest thing would be the Nitrogen, or a massive overdose of heroin or some other painkiller.  Painless, clean, no ugly convulsions.

[zxcvbob]

I had a friend who maintained that the anticipation was the "cruel" part...

I've wondered if that is the whole point of the "last meal" ritual.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

so then the 7 years from verdict to dead is cruel? we need to speed it up?

[KD5NRH]

I had a friend who maintained that the anticipation was the "cruel" part, so we should have a hydraulic press with a cyclic time of micro seconds.  I think he was at least halfway serious about his flyswatter method.

Simple: giant triphammer dropping a piston down a dark shaft.  Say 5' diameter to account for really heavy ones, or doubling up in cases like the original article.  Doesn't take a very thick 5' diameter slug of steel to weigh enough to guarantee a quite compact, thoroughly nonthreatening former menace to society on the first try every time.  Dark shaft reduces last-second panic, and music could be piped in to cover the sound of the approaching piston accelerating.

[MillCreek]

I had a friend who maintained that the anticipation was the "cruel" part

This is the basis for why Japan does not tell their Death Row prisoners of the execution date until the morning that it happens.  They think it is cruel for a prisoner to know the date in advance and worry about it.  I read a memoir of a Death Row prisoner who was subsequently exonerated, and he said that every morning at 0700 when the guards came onto the unit, the other prisoners would try to see if the warden was with them and did the group stop at a particular cell.  If the group passed you by, you were safe for another day.

[Blakenzy]

Copious amounts of heroin freely injected into a vein... what a comfy way to go!

[Pb]

This is the basis for why Japan does not tell their Death Row prisoners of the execution date until the morning that it happens.  They think it is cruel for a prisoner to know the date in advance and worry about it.  I read a memoir of a Death Row prisoner who was subsequently exonerated, and he said that every morning at 0700 when the guards came onto the unit, the other prisoners would try to see if the warden was with them and did the group stop at a particular cell.  If the group passed you by, you were safe for another day.

I have read this sort of thing actually produces extreme fear and anxiety in the prisoners... and so "not so humane"...

[MillCreek]

I have read this sort of thing actually produces extreme fear and anxiety in the prisoners... and so "not so humane"...

I agree.  I wonder if this is something unique to Japanese culture.

[lupinus]

As much as knowing the day would suck,  you'd also know it's often not set in stone and when the time isn't pushed off one more time you've had time to get whatever affairs in order. Never knowing the day and waking up every morning wondering if today's the day? And if it is then it's their final answer?  Sounds a lot scarier.

[KD5NRH]

As much as knowing the day would suck,  you'd also know it's often not set in stone and when the time isn't pushed off one more time you've had time to get whatever affairs in order. Never knowing the day and waking up every morning wondering if today's the day? And if it is then it's their final answer?  Sounds a lot scarier.

Sounds like life, actually.

[Tallpine]

I have read this sort of thing actually produces extreme fear and anxiety in the prisoners... and so "not so humane"...

Sounds like a feature, not a bug 

[JN01]

Poke a hole in their skulls with a scissors and suck their brains out.  It's OK to use for late term abortions, so it must be humane.

[roo_ster]

Poke a hole in their skulls with a scissors and suck their brains out.  It's OK to use for late term abortions, so it must be humane.

Ouch.

[Scout26]

Poke a hole in their skulls with a scissors and suck their brains out.  It's OK to use for late term abortions, so it must be humane.

WINNER !!!!

[MechAg94]

If you don't care about humane punishment, just zip them up in a strong, air tight body bag and walk away.  

If you do, then nitrogen displacement of O2 is pretty quick and sure.  No needles or drugs in involved.  They will have to use FDA certified Nitrogen NF gas though.    Someone also mentioned using Nitrous to make them silly then just turning the nitrous up to the point of displacing the O2.  Lots of gas alternatives.  A liquid nitrogen tank would probably work best instead of cylinders.  I best most supplies wouldn't put their logo on the tank though.

I actually like the overdose of drug/painkillers idea also, but gases are generally cheaper and likely easier.

[Scout26]

For the record:

Evil person dead =/= "botched execution".

[wmenorr67]

http://www.newson6.com/story/25405844/oklahoma-death-row-inmate-tasered-had-self-inflicted-wounds-day-of-execution#.U2LEc-HCiUw.facebook

This report is saying the scumbag bastard was being difficult at best all day leading up to his demise.  Time to grab the other bastard up and do him in now.  Want to prevent the *expletive deleted*ck *expletive deleted*ck games, run a central line and it should be real quick and painless.

[lupinus]

Poke a hole in their skulls with a scissors and suck their brains out.  It's OK to use for late term abortions, so it must be humane.

do you by chance have a newsletter?

[KD5NRH]

This report is saying the scumbag bastard was being difficult at best all day leading up to his demise.  Time to grab the other bastard up and do him in now.  Want to prevent the *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* games, run a central line and it should be real quick and painless.

I'm reminded of dealing with fire ant mounds; use a 12ga to open a straight hole into the mound, then pour in the chemicals.  I think the same could work to gain direct cardiac access for execution.

[Ron]

Only the government could mess up something humans have been doing very successfully since the dawn of humanity.