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Author Topic: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief  (Read 3763 times)

Ben

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Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« on: April 22, 2015, 02:44:18 PM »
I had no idea the Ukraine put up with the kind of frivolous lawsuits we have here.  :laugh:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/04/22/mila-kunis-being-sued-for-stealing-chicken-as-child/?intcmp=features
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wmenorr67

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2015, 03:05:43 PM »
Kind of waiting for the punch line.
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41magsnub

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2015, 03:09:10 PM »
Quote from: Ben on April 22, 2015, 02:44:18 PM
I had no idea the Ukraine put up with the kind of frivolous lawsuits we have here.  :laugh:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/04/22/mila-kunis-being-sued-for-stealing-chicken-as-child/?intcmp=features


Dunno if they do or not.  The "victim" moved to LA for her singing career and is suing in a US court.
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wmenorr67

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2015, 03:10:24 PM »
Someone should ask Mila if Jim Beam goes well with chicken.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

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SADShooter

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2015, 03:16:38 PM »
Quote from: wmenorr67 on April 22, 2015, 03:05:43 PM
Kind of waiting for the punch line.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To pull a scam with the ambulance chaser.
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Ben

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2015, 03:35:01 PM »
Quote from: 41magsnub on April 22, 2015, 03:09:10 PM

Dunno if they do or not.  The "victim" moved to LA for her singing career and is suing in a US court.

Ah, well, I've heard reading comprehension is key.  =D

Guess she needs to pay for the singing lessons.
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230RN

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2015, 03:42:59 PM »
Quote from: SADShooter on April 22, 2015, 03:16:38 PM
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To pull a scam with the ambulance chaser.

I took it the opposite way.  Agent put Plaintiff up to it for publicity purposes.

P =  > 0.85 :

A generous settlement is reached before it gets to Court and the Judge can punish them for a frivolous suit, Plaintiff forgives Defendant, they recall  poignant elements of their prior life in Ukraine, tears, hugs, good publicity, cue violins, exeunt stage left, leaving their respective agents to plan a duet recording session and seek gloppy songwriter to write a gloppy song about forgiveness for the past...

"You think we'll hit Platinum, Maury?"

"I dunno, Sam.  Maybe Gold, but Platinum would be great, hah?"

"Who should we get to write it?"

"Manilov, maybe, or that piano player on 'Two and a half men.'  I heard he's looking for work."

And the rest is non-history.  Hey, Show Biz, right?  Anyone remember the Fred Allen-Jack Benny pseudofeud?

Terry, Icon-o-clast, 230RN
« Last Edit: April 22, 2015, 04:06:03 PM by 230RN »
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MechAg94

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2015, 03:51:30 PM »
Quote
Naturally, Karo is seeking damages to the tune of $5,000 to cover her therapy costs and compensation for the emotional trauma of losing a chicken as a young child.
Can she show receipts from the therapy she got?

Maybe Mila should just bring a bucket of KFC to the court. 
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SADShooter

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2015, 04:09:48 PM »
Quote from: 230RN on April 22, 2015, 03:42:59 PM
I took it the opposite way.  Agent put Plaintiff up to it for publicity purposes.

P =  > 0.85 :

A generous settlement is reached before it gets to Court and the Judge can punish them for a frivolous suit, Plaintiff forgives Defendant, they recall  poignant elements of their prior life in Ukraine, tears, hugs, good publicity, cue violins, exeunt stage left, leaving their respective agents to plan a duet recording session and seek gloppy songwriter to write a gloppy song about forgiveness for the past...

"You think we'll hit Platinum, Maury?"

"I dunno, Sam.  Maybe Gold, but Platinum would be great, hah?"

"Who should we get to write it?"

"Manilov, maybe, or that piano player on 'Two and a half men.'  I heard he's looking for work."

And the rest is non-history.  Hey, Show Biz, right?  Anyone remember the Fred Allen-Jack Benny pseudofeud?

Terry, Icon-o-clast, 230RN

Sounds fine, but you missed one small but crucial detail: the sentimental reunion takes place over Chicken Kiev.
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230RN

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2015, 04:11:11 PM »
^ OK, drop it to P = > 0.83 then.

But P= 1.0 for show biz feuds making $, sincere or not.
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Hawkmoon

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2015, 05:25:50 PM »
Quote from: 230RN on April 22, 2015, 03:42:59 PM
And the rest is non-history.  Hey, Show Biz, right?  Anyone remember the Fred Allen-Jack Benny pseudofeud?

Ummm, no -- and I'm old enough to remember both of them.
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vaskidmark

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2015, 05:35:37 PM »
Quote from: 230RN on April 22, 2015, 03:42:59 PM


A generous settlement is reached before it gets to Court and the Judge can punish them for a frivolous suit, ....

Terry, Icon-o-clast, 230RN

Explain to me what part of "Karo is seeking damages to the tune of $5,000 to cover her therapy costs and compensation for the emotional trauma of losing a chicken as a young child" would constitute a generous settlement.

 :facepalm:

 [popcorn]

stay safe.
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If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege.

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2015, 07:17:33 PM »
"Explain to me what part of 'Karo is seeking damages to the tune of $5,000 to cover her therapy costs and compensation for the emotional trauma of losing a chicken as a young child' would constitute a generous settlement."

Egad.   :facepalm:, indeed.

 [popcorn]   :rofl:
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HankB

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2015, 07:44:53 PM »
Can a five year old (at the time of the alleged chicken theft) be considered criminally or civilly culpable of ANY crime, particularly one allegedly committed in another country, FAR outside US jurisdiction, decades ago?

Any DECENT judge would find the plaintiff and her lawyer (if she has one) guilty of misusing the court and award treble damages to the defendant - plus some hefty court costs as well.
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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2015, 01:18:44 AM »
But it's not about any crime.  It's about FEELZ and how she has carried those FEELZ around for years.

Reading in context - apparently a dying art.

stay safe.
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If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege.

Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn!!!

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wmenorr67

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2015, 06:34:40 AM »
Sounds like at asking for $5000 that is keeping it within the small claims threshold so no lawyers.
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Monkeyleg

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #16 on: April 23, 2015, 09:47:17 AM »
Mila Kunis can steal my chicken any time she wants. ;)
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Regolith

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #17 on: April 23, 2015, 11:27:20 PM »
Quote from: Monkeyleg on April 23, 2015, 09:47:17 AM
Mila Kunis can steal my chicken any time she wants. ;)

So you want her to go all Lorena Bobbitt on you?  :O
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Jamisjockey

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #18 on: April 23, 2015, 11:29:41 PM »
Quote from: Monkeyleg on April 23, 2015, 09:47:17 AM
Mila Kunis can steal my chicken any time she wants. ;)

I'd rather she choke mine.
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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2015, 12:17:13 AM »
Quote from: jamisjockey on April 23, 2015, 11:29:41 PM
I'd rather she choke mine.

You do know where that thing's been, right?

stay safe.
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If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege.

Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn!!!

They keep making this eternal vigilance thing harder and harder.  Protecting the 2nd amendment is like playing PACMAN - there's no pause button so you can go to the bathroom.

wmenorr67

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2015, 06:34:52 AM »
Quote from: vaskidmark on April 24, 2015, 12:17:13 AM
You do know where that thing's been, right?

stay safe.

I would hope he knows where his chicken has been.  Her on the other hand might want to be warned.
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There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

MechAg94

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2015, 10:47:09 AM »
Quote from: jamisjockey on April 23, 2015, 11:29:41 PM
I'd rather she choke mine.
She would likley just chop the head off which would not be an ideal outcome. 
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Jamisjockey

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Re: Mila Kunis, Chicken Thief
« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2015, 11:12:51 AM »
Quote from: wmenorr67 on April 24, 2015, 06:34:52 AM
I would hope he knows where his chicken has been.  Her on the other hand might want to be warned.

Yeah I would hope that's a warning to her.....
 >:D
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JD

 The price of a lottery ticket seems to be the maximum most folks are willing to risk toward the dream of becoming a one-percenter. “Robert Hollis”
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