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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 51153 times)

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #475 on: March 04, 2024, 04:52:21 PM »
Study Finds 99% Of Men Pretend To Use The Force When Opening, Closing Automatic Doors
https://babylonbee.com/news/study-finds-99-of-men-use-the-force-when-opening-closing-automatic-doors
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #476 on: March 04, 2024, 07:22:54 PM »
Pros And Cons Of Every Diet Plan
https://babylonbee.com/news/pros-and-cons-of-every-diet-plan

Starting on this one first thing tomorrow

Quote
Twinkie Diet

Pro: You get to eat Twinkies

Con: None
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #477 on: March 04, 2024, 07:24:54 PM »
Little Girl Dreams Of One Day Being Fat And Ugly Enough To Be Target Model
https://babylonbee.com/news/little-girl-dreams-of-one-day-being-ugly-enough-to-be-target-model
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- Calvin and Hobbes

grampster

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #478 on: March 04, 2024, 08:32:12 PM »
Quote from: WLJ on March 04, 2024, 04:52:21 PM
Study Finds 99% Of Men Pretend To Use The Force When Opening, Closing Automatic Doors
https://babylonbee.com/news/study-finds-99-of-men-use-the-force-when-opening-closing-automatic-doors

Y..y...y...ya mean we really don't have the power of The Force?
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"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #479 on: March 05, 2024, 05:13:30 PM »
Quote from: grampster on March 04, 2024, 08:32:12 PM
Y..y...y...ya mean we really don't have the power of The Force?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you haven't been opening those door with the force.
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #480 on: March 05, 2024, 05:14:27 PM »
In 9-0 Decision, SCOTUS Rules That The Eagles Could Not Have Carried The Fellowship To Mount Doom
https://babylonbee.com/news/in-9-0-decision-scotus-rules-that-the-eagles-could-not-have-carried-the-fellowship-to-mount-doom
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #481 on: March 05, 2024, 05:19:02 PM »
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #482 on: March 05, 2024, 09:30:34 PM »
Headline from the pay section

Gemini AI Creates Black Versions Of Kamala Harris And Barack Obama
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #483 on: March 07, 2024, 11:50:01 AM »
Quote from: WLJ on February 29, 2024, 05:58:20 PM
Stop giving them ideas!

Ballot Drop Boxes Installed Along Border Wall
https://babylonbee.com/news/ballot-drop-boxes-installed-along-border-wall

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Quote
Kyle Mann
@The_Kyle_Mann
Reuters sent us an email to find out if our @TheBabylonBee
 story about ballot boxes being installed along the border wall was true.
https://twitter.com/The_Kyle_Mann/status/1765461686910386649
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #484 on: March 07, 2024, 02:29:16 PM »
Shouldn't have upsized it

Elon Musk Falls Into Crippling Poverty After Single Meal At Five Guys
https://babylonbee.com/news/elon-musk-destitute-and-impoverished-after-single-meal-at-five-guys

Quote
At publishing time, Musk expressed confidence that he could turn things around, even mentioning the possibility of buying out Five Guys in the future and changing its name to Five Hot Chicks.
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #485 on: March 07, 2024, 03:56:35 PM »
Woman Kicked Out Of Walmart For Not Wearing Pajama Bottoms
https://babylonbee.com/news/woman-kicked-out-of-walmart-for-not-wearing-pajama-bottoms
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

Pb

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #486 on: March 09, 2024, 12:47:51 PM »
Husband Says He Would Give A Back Rub But He’s Tired And Has A Headache   

https://babylonbee.com/news/husband-says-he-would-give-a-back-rub-but-hes-tired-and-has-a-headache
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #487 on: March 11, 2024, 12:17:11 PM »
The horror!

Democrats Warn That Migrants Committing Murder Could Result In More People Referring To Them By The Wrong Term
https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-worried-migrants-committing-murder-could-result-in-people-referring-to-them-by-the-wrong-term
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #488 on: March 11, 2024, 12:23:43 PM »
Christopher Nolan Hurriedly Adds Drag Queen To ‘Oppenheimer’ To Shore Up Oscar Vote
https://babylonbee.com/news/christopher-nolan-hurriedly-adds-drag-queen-to-oppenheimer-to-shore-up-oscar-vote

In case you don't get the joke the Oscars introduced diversity rules that a movie must meet before it can considered eligible for best picture which I think are suppose to kick in next year.
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #489 on: March 13, 2024, 08:59:32 PM »
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #490 on: March 13, 2024, 09:01:45 PM »
Progressives Fear That Without TikTok, They Won’t Be Able To Convince Kids To Join Their Weird Sex Cult
https://babylonbee.com/news/progressives-fear-that-without-tiktok-they-wont-be-able-to-convince-kids-to-join-their-weird-sex-cult
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #491 on: March 15, 2024, 08:07:24 AM »
Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Justin Trudeau’ Is An Outdated Term And Should Instead Be Referred To As ‘Person With A Vagina’
https://babylonbee.com/news/canadian-supreme-court-rules-justin-trudeau-is-an-outdated-term-and-should-instead-be-referred-to-as-person-with-a-vagina
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #492 on: March 15, 2024, 08:13:00 AM »
But saying kick ball is so much easier
Shut up you racist!

Progressive Kids Play Classic Game Of 'Smear The Oppressive Patriarchal Colonialists Who Perpetuate Cis-Whiteness And Literal Violence Against Indigenous People Groups And The LGBTQIAA++ Community'
https://babylonbee.com/news/progressive-kids-play-classic-game-of-smear-the-oppressive-patriarchal-colonialists-who-perpetuate-cis-whitness-and-literal-violence-against-indigenous-people-groups-and-the-lgbtqiaa-communit
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #493 on: March 15, 2024, 08:14:18 AM »
Don't give them any ideas

New Greta Thunberg GPS Lectures You When Refusing More Eco-Friendly Route
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-greta-thunberg-gps-lectures-you-when-refusing-more-eco-friendly-route
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HankB

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #494 on: March 15, 2024, 09:56:31 AM »
Quote from: WLJ on March 04, 2024, 07:22:54 PM
Pros And Cons Of Every Diet Plan
https://babylonbee.com/news/pros-and-cons-of-every-diet-plan

Starting on this one first thing tomorrow
Not every diet, they forgot The Drinking Man's Diet:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRJ02VB5Evk
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Trump won in 2016. Democrats haven't been so offended since Republicans came along and freed their slaves.
Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain
Government is a broker in pillage, and every election is a sort of advance auction in stolen goods. - H.L. Mencken
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #495 on: March 17, 2024, 07:12:03 PM »
Some of you may be able to guess what you'll see when you click on the link

Google Gemini Wishes Everyone A Happy St. Patrick's Day
https://babylonbee.com/news/google-gemini-wishes-everyone-a-happy-st-patricks-day
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #496 on: March 18, 2024, 07:09:50 PM »
They got him!

FBI Arrests #1 Most Wanted Criminal Pepe The Frog
https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-arrests-1-most-wanted-criminal-pepe-the-frog

Quote
"I shudder to think what kind of memes would have been shared if we hadn't caught him when we did."

Among several other charges, the frog is being held on 7,439,600,213,000 counts of criminal menace, 436,007,924,332,141,572,499,022 hate crime charges, and 563,745,743,153,001,377 counts of stochastic terrorism. "I'll sleep easier knowing that I'll never have to see another Pepe meme in the replies to my videos where I announce I'm indicting Trump again," said Garland. "His face haunts my dreams."

"Humor and fun have long been tools of fascism," said Salon journalist Rezz Thivins. "Pepe will finally face justice for his treasonous memes. It's about time."
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- Calvin and Hobbes

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #497 on: March 19, 2024, 11:08:07 PM »
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"End of quote.  Repeat the line."
  - Joe 'Ron Burgundy' Biden

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #498 on: March 19, 2024, 11:11:18 PM »
Now I'm hungry
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Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #499 on: March 21, 2024, 05:28:30 PM »
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"End of quote.  Repeat the line."
  - Joe 'Ron Burgundy' Biden
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