Author Topic: Marriage number...what? (Read 6662 times)

Guest · « **Reply #25 on:** September 27, 2006, 02:57:47 PM »

Some people aren't meant to be married, but a lot of people never realize that. Society is geared towards couples and people seems to transition from one relationship to another.

I'm not opposed to marriage and can't say without a doubt that I'd never do it again but if I did, it would be because I truly wanted to be married and not because I need to conform to anything. So far, I'm a lot happier single than I can imagine being with anyone else.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #26 on:** September 27, 2006, 05:32:22 PM »

Thanks, Monkeyleg.

Barbara, if you were married, it's not your happiness I would be most in doubt of. Tongue

CAnnoneer · « **Reply #27 on:** September 27, 2006, 05:39:46 PM »

Perfect matches are virtually impossible. So, patience and compromise are the name of the game. As time passes by, reasonable people tend to gravitate together and slowly change to accomodate the other. So long as there are no major discrepancies, that is a strategy that usually works.

I think fistful is fundamentally right about female expectations being based on the father. I'd go further to say that the level of control a woman projects onto her mate often matches the level of control her mother projected on her father. So, when you look for a wife, pay attention to how her parents interact because that is what she will likely replay with you.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #28 on:** September 27, 2006, 06:01:04 PM »

I likewise agree.

grampster · « **Reply #29 on:** September 27, 2006, 07:06:07 PM »

On October 8th, Swmbo and I will have been married for 40 years. What I don't understand is how I could have been married that long when I'm only 32 years old.

What is a good marriage and what makes it last? I just erased about 10 paragraphs describing that. The long and short of it is that it's a promise. You looked your beloved in the eye and made a promise. So, you keep your word. If you fail to do that, you will have a millstone around your neck, even if you salvage the relationship. Better to keep your word than to live with the regret that you betrayed your word. Simple as that.

For me, after 40 years, it is incomprehensible that I be without the anchor in my life.

Unisaw · « **Reply #30 on:** September 27, 2006, 07:45:38 PM »

My wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this summer. We met when we were both 18 and have been inseparable ever since. I agree that maintaining the promises involved in marriage is the key. A good sense of humor helps too!

LadySmith · « **Reply #31 on:** September 27, 2006, 10:16:22 PM »

0 marriages & 0 kids. Never had the desire for either. I read that some adult relationships are carry-overs from unresolved childhood issues. Girls never getting the attention they needed from abusive fathers grow up and try to get it from abusive boyfriends/husbands. Boys never getting the attention they needed from cold and distant mothers grow up and wind up with women like Monkeyleg's former female boss. Something like that.

Guest · « **Reply #32 on:** September 28, 2006, 12:06:04 AM »

Quote

Barbara, if you were married, it's not your happiness I would be most in doubt of.

Ah, but my happiness is what's important.

Antibubba · « **Reply #33 on:** September 28, 2006, 03:10:34 AM »

Well, I have no interest in fathering and raising kids. As I'm almost 41, I'm finding the women in my general age group to be intensely focused on childrearing-present or immediate future. So I have to date younger or older. I don't have any issues in either direction, but I would like to try marriage one of these days. Age differences can be an impediment.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #34 on:** September 28, 2006, 03:26:16 AM »

If Barbara and Antibubba were joined together in holy matrimony, would we refer them as AntiBarbara?

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #35 on:** September 28, 2006, 12:27:35 PM »

No, Fistful, you have to look at things in a positive way. They'd be BubbaBarbara.

Have to agree on the trust issue.

Back in 1990 or so, I started taking my solo motorcycle trips out west. My landlord, who was pretty much of a lecherous type, said, "my wife would never let me go on a trip like that by myself!"

I answered, "and I don't blame her, Roger. But my wife knows she can trust me."

Guest · « **Reply #36 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:03:17 PM »

My kid calls me the anti-Mom.

thebaldguy · « **Reply #37 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:37:12 PM »

My girlfriend and I have been living in sin, shacking up, living together, etc. for over 18 years now. My two sisters used to give me a hard time about it. Single females trying to get a ring from their men also give me a hard time as well. They all like to say there is no real commitment. We own a house and two cars together. We've never had the need for a church or government to "approve" our relationship. Got a problem with our relationship? Get bent. I don't care what you think. We've been together longer than most married couples we know. Some are now on their second and third marriages, and they're giving me a hard time about commitment.

Then my two sisters both got divorced - not their fault, of course. Then I laid into them about commitment.

They don't say squat anymore.

Here's a joke that the single girls hate. I love it.

Q: Do you know where diamonds come from?

A: You put a man under heat and pressure until he produces one.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #38 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:40:24 PM »

If you're committed, why not marry the girl?

thebaldguy · « **Reply #39 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:42:10 PM »

Like I said, I don't need the stamp of approval from a church or government.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #40 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:46:37 PM »

You don't see marriage as being advantageous in any way, compared to your current status?

thebaldguy · « **Reply #41 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:48:01 PM »

What is the advantage of being married?

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #42 on:** September 28, 2006, 02:55:08 PM »

If you've paid attention to politics lately, there are supposedly any number of advantages, which are being denied to homosexuals. Like being able to visit your spouse in intensive care, it's easier when dealing with wills and legal issues, that kind of thing.

In times past, there were definite social disadvantages to shacking up, but since no one cares about marriage anymore, maybe it's not worth as much. Sad

thebaldguy · « **Reply #43 on:** September 28, 2006, 03:35:01 PM »

My current employer gives benefits to all domestic partners - gay or straight. You do have a point about the hospital visits, but we have the wills, insurance, and legal issues worked out.

I guess this hit a sore spot. I have run into way too many people who seem to think they're better than me because they believe in marriage. Especially the women. The forcing of their morals upon my relationship pisses me off. They seem to imply that I am using her and don't care about her. A piece of paper doesn't mean squat. How many married couples have gotten divorced? How many of those high and mighty married couples cheat on each other? And they tell me I'm not committed...

My relationship is my business. Right wing authoritarians, fundamentalist religous zealots, and high and mighty moral authoritarians don't push your morals on us. I don't tell people they're wrong for being married. They have no right to tell me I'm wrong about my relationship.

Zed · « **Reply #44 on:** September 28, 2006, 04:31:09 PM »

I have a cousin who's getting Married after only knowing his Fiancee for 3 weeks...

not sure I want to know how that is going to turn out...

CAnnoneer · « **Reply #45 on:** September 28, 2006, 05:40:34 PM »

Quote from: thebaldguy

What is the advantage of being married?

Tax breaks? Less paperwork in case of snafus?

Standing Wolf · « **Reply #46 on:** September 28, 2006, 05:50:36 PM »

My former wife told me it was her or my guns. A couple girl friends told me essentially the same thing.

Guns seem to be somewhat less demanding.

Antibubba · « **Reply #47 on:** September 28, 2006, 06:49:33 PM »

Quote

No, Fistful, you have to look at things in a positive way. They'd be BubbaBarbara.

Somehow, I suspect it would be "Boss" and Whassisname". :/

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #48 on:** September 28, 2006, 07:05:01 PM »

Quote from: Antibubba

Quote

No, Fistful, you have to look at things in a positive way. They'd be BubbaBarbara.

Somehow, I suspect it would be "Boss" and Whassisname". :/

Man, I somehow got into the middle of a minefield. Somebody show me the exit sign. Wink

"Guns somehow seem to be less demanding."

Probably true.

But, I can't remember the last time my guns washed the dishes, or made me a pork roast with mashed potatoes and gravy, or snuggled up to me to keep warm.

And I really can't remember the last time I had to wipe my wife down with gun oil. Wink

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #49 on:** September 28, 2006, 07:31:38 PM »

Bald guy, I don't know if you'll find my comments sympathizing or disparaging. I meant the former, but I struggle between viewing your attitude as being a result of the problem or part of it - giving in to the culture of serial monogamy, thereby helping to perpetuate it.

Quote

A piece of paper doesn't mean squat. How many married couples have gotten divorced? How many of those high and mighty married couples cheat on each other? And they tell me I'm not committed...

I find that is the real problem - that marriage means so little to so many people any more, that it is hard to blame you. If it's just a piece of paper to you, perhaps you are right to forego it.

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Author Topic: Marriage number...what? (Read 6662 times)

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