Author Topic: Marriage number...what? (Read 6663 times)

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #50 on:** September 28, 2006, 08:25:55 PM »

Fistful, I was joking. Believe me.

My wife only wipes me down with dairy products.

(I'M KIDDING AGAIN!).

thebaldguy, a piece of paper is a piece of paper. It's no stronger a shield against a bullet than a restraining order, and no more a guarantee of matrimonial happiness than whatever warranty comes with the diamond ring.

In fact, I have my own observation: the larger the diamond on the wedding ring, the shorter will be the marriage. I base that observation only on the dozens of friends my wife and I have had, as well as the dozens or more weddings we photographed back in the 1980's.

In an earlier post, I mentioned that my parents just celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary.

There was a lot of give-and-take that made that happen. My mother was extremely close to her sisters. When GM transferred my dad from Flint, MI over here to MKE, WI, there was a promise my dad made: my mother would be able to go visit her sisters in Flint as often as the family budget allowed. And she did visit. By plane, car, or by ferry, she crossed the lake probably every couple of months to be with her sisters.

I've made promises to my own wife as well, and have only fallen short on a couple of them. I'll get around to fixing those soon.

thebaldguy, I'm not trying to push my ideas of marriage on you. Far from it. If you're happy, I'm happy. I'm just saying that I'm very happy with the choice I made.

Maybe three years ago, I was out on my motorcyle, and stopped at one of my usual, notorious biker bars to check out the awesome custom bikes.

I got into a conversation with a grizzled old rider, and he had to cut the conversation short. He said, "I gotta be over in Waterford at 2 pm. This babe I know said she was going to give me a ______."

That comment cut multiple ways. First, I can't imagine a time arrangement. Nor can I imagine anything else that comes with such time arrangements.

I have my friend, confidant, and lover for life.

If you have something that works better for you, know that I won't try to stop you.

I won't get in your way if you don't get in mine.

Guest · « **Reply #51 on:** September 29, 2006, 12:09:48 AM »

Quote

Somehow, I suspect it would be "Boss" and Whassisname".

Exhibit A in why I don't get married.

stevelyn · « **Reply #52 on:** September 29, 2006, 03:19:48 AM »

I was only married once. Did the legal retreat on that one ten years ago.

Marriage isn't something I'm going to do again. That $^!t can get expensive.

grampster · « **Reply #53 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:37:15 AM »

Dick,
Regarding the size of the diamond. I gave Swmbo a rather unique looking ring that she picked out. It had just a little diamond chip settled in the middle. It cost me $65.00 in 1966. (That was about a weeks pay on the PD where I was working)

I think that's when it hit me that she was a keeper; 40 years in 9 days.

French G. · « **Reply #54 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:41:14 AM »

Marriage #2, but bride #1. We could have done our 10th anniversary a few months ago, but instead we just got done celebrating our 2nd.

thebaldguy · « **Reply #55 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:52:55 PM »

Just for the record, I'm not offended by anything people say here. I like the discussion. Thank god we can have this discussion without violence.

In the eyes of the government, a marriage license is a legal document that says you are now responsible for each others' debts. No more, no less. I guess over time I've been jaded by watching other people have marriage problems. I laugh when people point out how those older people stayed together all those years.

Think about this for a minute. Back then, divorce was a bad thing. Something to be ashamed of. Abused spouses often stayed with their abusers, afraid to leave. The shame of divorce was worse than the physical/mental abuse. Is that a good reason to stay married? I think not. Fear is not a good reason to stay married. I think divorce may be a good thing for some.

I run into lots of young women who are in love with getting married. They like the ideas of diamond rings, gifts and presents, and being the princess and center of attention. When the party's over, the real work starts. Some of the guys they married are almost coerced into marriage. As you probably guessed, the relationship doesn't last long. I worked with such a woman who would taunt me with phrases like, "if you really loved her, you'd marry her", and "I knew he loved me when we were at the altar with all our friends and family there". They had a big expensive lavish wedding, and invited the office except for me. She milked hundreds of people for gifts.

The marriage lasted less than a year. I resisted the urge to shove her commitment comments back in her face. She never talked much to me after her divorce. Marriage does not always mean happiness and commitment forever. People forget that. That being said, my girlfriend and I have been together longer than many married couples.

If you believe in marriage, fine. Good for you. But keep morality judgements about my relationship to yourself. Don't consider me immoral because I live with my girl without a church/state approved relationship. I've had born again christian bosses look down at me because I live with my girlfriend.

Oh, and about the diamond size comment, I totally agree. I have made note about the divorce rate and the wearing of princess style tierras at weddings. If a bride wears a tierra, there's a good chance there will be problems down the road.

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #56 on:** September 29, 2006, 06:22:32 PM »

"Oh, and about the diamond size comment, I totally agree. I have made note about the divorce rate and the wearing of princess style tierras at weddings. If a bride wears a tierra, there's a good chance there will be problems down the road."

thebaldguy, I suspect that the humungous diamonds are more a statement about couples' financial status (or perceived status) than with the level of committment.

No, strike that last paragraph. I'm certain about that motivation.

Grampster's post about the ring he bought for his wife echoes my experience. My wife's ring is a 1/4 carat diamond. But the ring itself is beautiful, looks like an antique, and she's always had people stop and take a second look, or make comments. It was rather inexpensive ($500 in 1977), but it's every bit her taste.

And I don't consider your lifestyle "immoral." My wife and I lived together for several years before she finally started telegraphing hints that we should get legal. And, after everything had settled down, it seemed like a good idea.

There's one aspect about living together versus being marriage that I thought about years back. When living together, if things go south, all one has to do is say, "I'm out of here. Do you want the dog?"

Once married, there's all the legal entanglements.

So, by simply living together, it's possible that relationship may be more giving and more loving, because there's always the possibility of a one-hour disolvement.

All that, and now $3.50, will get you a cup of coffee.

thebaldguy · « **Reply #57 on:** September 29, 2006, 06:48:14 PM »

I've seen some pretty good diamond quotes over the years on comedy shows...

from the Simpsons:

"Diamonds. Because money equals love."

or from The Family Guy, a parody of the DeBeers diamond commerical:

"Diamonds...she'll pretty much have to."

$3.50 for a cup of coffee? I think not! I grind my own beans and make great coffee for less than 15 cents a cup! I refuse to pay coffee shop prices.

Oleg Volk · « **Reply #58 on:** September 29, 2006, 11:51:15 PM »

I am less and less sanguine on the concept of a legal marriage. I see altogether few examples of relationships that work out well. The concept of being able to walk away definitely helps...though that becomes more difficult with joint kids. Maybe I am not looking at a properly representative group of couples...

(The nicest person I dated was also not at all compatible with me for cohabitation or marriage.)

280plus · « **Reply #59 on:** September 30, 2006, 12:21:32 AM »

I didn't buy my wife (#2) the biggest diamond on the shelf but it's one step away from being the whitest. So it is a rare gem, just like her. Cheesy

mtnbkr · « **Reply #60 on:** September 30, 2006, 02:10:54 AM »

Quote from: 280plus

I didn't buy my wife (#2) the biggest diamond on the shelf but it's one step away from being the whitest. So it is a rare gem, just like her. Cheesy

She's looking over your shoulder isn't she? Tongue

Chris

280plus · « **Reply #61 on:** September 30, 2006, 03:18:09 AM »

No but I can show it to her later. Tongue

grislyatoms · « **Reply #62 on:** September 30, 2006, 12:42:47 PM »

Been married once, I have no need nor desire whatsoever to do it again.

Folks always say "You must be lonely/gay/antisocial/mental" etc. etc. ad nauseam. "What a lonely life you must lead."

Blech. Some folks think everyone MUST have that "special someone" or life's not worth living. Blech once again.

Folks on occasion sometimes say, "Well, that's just weird." Ahh, now a comment to which I can give creedence.

I guess preferring quiet solitude to another's company IS weird. So be it, but that's me, and in the words of that famous spinach eatin' sailor, "I yams what I yams!"

theCZ · « **Reply #63 on:** September 30, 2006, 03:38:39 PM »

Well, I have not had the yearnings for matrimony with my last two girlfriends, but they sure thought I was their one and only! We'll see what happens on down the road. I'm really hoping to stay strong in the next few weeks when I'm travelling in China and Korea.

Guest · « **Reply #64 on:** September 30, 2006, 04:27:57 PM »

I'm going to marry grislyatoms.

Sindawe · « **Reply #65 on:** September 30, 2006, 04:47:38 PM »

Quote

Marriage #2, but bride #1.

I occasionally have nightmares like that. <<>> Most recent was that she'd stayed instead of bailing, and the primary thought in the dream was "Crap, is she EVER gonna leave?"

I'm with grislyatoms on the marriage thing. Did it once, and fortunately there was little property to divide and no issue to fight about custody and support over. The only thing I regret loosing out of that was the PCjr her father gave us. I LIKED that little machine, even though it took two floppy disks and creating a RAM-disk to load an early verson of QModem on it.

Others ask about the sex-life of a commited bachelor. Eh, I've never been ruled by my gonads, unlike the majority of my peers (who now have child support and the like to worry over). Lonely? I have friends and family to take care of that. Sleeping alone? Cats don't steal the covers and with four in the current herd, the bed is always warm.

grislyatoms · « **Reply #66 on:** October 01, 2006, 04:17:12 AM »

Quote from: Barbara

I'm going to marry grislyatoms.

Cool! I'm free on Tuesday! Can my kiddo be the flower girl?

Wow, now I feel all warm and fuzzy.

The Rabbi · « **Reply #67 on:** October 01, 2006, 04:19:13 AM »

If you have kids, would they be called "GrislyBars"?

Antibubba · « **Reply #68 on:** October 01, 2006, 08:01:49 AM »

Quote

If you have kids, would they be called "GrislyBars"?

Only the sons, Rabbi. The daughters would be "GrislyBats"! Wink

Guest · « **Reply #69 on:** October 01, 2006, 01:45:55 PM »

Very funny, kids. Very funny.

Tongue

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Author Topic: Marriage number...what? (Read 6663 times)

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