R.I.P. Scout26
The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries is a popular handbook in the Schlock Mercenary universe. The book's maxims are often quoted by Tagon, as well as other characters. The following is a list of the maxims found in Schlock Mercenary, ordered by maxim number.1. Pillage, then burn.[1]2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.[2]3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.[3]4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.[4]5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.[5]6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. [6]7. If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.[7]8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.[8]9. Never turn your back on an enemy. [9]10. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull.[10]11. Everything is air-droppable at least once. [11]12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. [8]13. Do unto others. [9]14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?" [12]15. Only you can prevent friendly fire. [13]16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. [8]17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster. [14]18. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear. [15]19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.[16]20. If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win. [17]21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. [18]22. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong. [19]23. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart [20][21]24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun. [22]25. If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage.[23]Amended: If a manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn't do enough damage.[24]26. "Fire and Forget" is fine, provided you never actually forget.[24]27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.[25]28. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you. [26]29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.[25]30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.[25]31. Only cheaters prosper.[27]32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.[28]33. If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.[29]34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.[30]35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.[31]Amended: That which does not kill me has made a tactical error.[24]36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.[32]37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'[33]Amended: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."[24]38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.[34]Amended: What's easy for you can still be hard on your clients.[24]39. There is a difference between spare parts and extra [parts].[35]40. Not all good news is enemy action. [36]41. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.” [37]42. "They'll never expect this" means "I want to try something stupid."43. If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.44. If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool. [38]45. The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.[39]46. Don’t try to save money by conserving ammunition.47. Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.[40]48. If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry. [39]49. Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target [41] and every target is one bribe away from becoming a client.[24]50. If it only works in exactly the way the manufacturer intended, it is defective.[24]51. Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.[42]52. The army you've got is never the army you want.[43] [24]53. The intel you've got is never the intel you want. [43] [24]54. The best way to win a one-on-one fight is to be the third to arrive.Amended: It's only too many troops if you can't pay them.[24]55. It's only too many weapons if they're pointing in the wrong direction.[24]56. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns.[24]57. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see.[24]58. The pen is mightiest when it writes orders for more swords.[24]59. "Two wrongs is probably not going to be enough."[44]60. Any weapon's rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.[24]61. Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.[45]62. Anything labeled "This end toward enemy" is dangerous at both ends.[24]63. The brass knows how to do it by knowing who can do it.[24]64. An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.65. After the toss, be the one with the pin, not the one with the grenade.[24]66. Necessity is the mother of deception.[24]67. If you can't carry cash, carry a weapon.[24]68. Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.69. Sometimes rank is a function of firepower.[24]70. Failure is not an option - it is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.[45]