Barack Obama: My Solution to Iraq Is to Never Have Gone There

[roo_ster]

"I do have experience: Experience at not going to war."

My Solution to Iraq Is to Never Have Gone There
An Editorial by Senator Barack Obama

Iraq continues to be a serious problem, and the Bush administration has done nothing but increase the problem and cause unnecessary deaths. It is a mess, but I have a solution: I would never have gone there.

 The Iraq War will be a big problem to inherit, but it would not be if we hadn't have gone there. That's why that is my solution. People ask me, "Won't leaving Iraq now be abandoning the Iraqi people?" Well, it wouldn't be abandoning them if we hadn't had gone there. "What about a civil war?" others ask, to which I say there would be no civil war if Saddam were still in charge because we didn't go to Iraq. As you can see, not having gone to Iraq easily solves all these problems.

 As for Al Qaeda in Iraq, I don't think they would be a problem if we hadn't had gone. Maybe they already were there and working with some support from Saddam, but I still think not having gone there is a risk worth taking. You may worry about all the terrorists there and whether they have intentions for attacking America, but you wouldn't if we hadn't had gone.

 Senator John McCain questions whether I have experience enough to deal with Iraq, but the fact is that he's old. No one faints at his rallies... unless they forgot their heart medication because they're as old as he is. And I do have experience: Experience at not going to war. That's why not having gone to Iraq is the perfect solution for me. It's one I'm uniquely able to espouse and have been consistent on. Years ago I said we shouldn't invade Iraq, and that is still my solution.

A few have said that not going to Iraq isn't a solution anymore since we already have gone there. I hear your concern and I have three words for you: Hope. Change. The future.

 That's right: The future. And not just any future; a future where we look forward and say, "We shouldn't have gone to Iraq."

Barack Obama is a U.S. Senator from Illinois who enjoys nap time and finger painting. He is running for president.

[Monkeyleg]

Brilliant strategy! I think the military planning in "The Mouse That Roared" was better, though.

I'm really worried about this country.

[wooderson]

(I'm not going to point out that the APS solution to poverty is to not do the stupid things that lead to poverty in the first place. Really, I'm not. Seriously.)

[stevelyn]

To never have gone to Iraq is 20/20 hindsight not a solution.

Obama only appeals to those incapable of critical thinking.

[The Rabbi]

Please tell me that was a joke.

[El Tejon]

The solution to poverty is to buy Democrats alarm clocks so they can wake up and go to jobs.  Female Democrats can also hold the alarm clocks between their knees so their do not have children out of wedlock.

[Dannyboy]

Was that another Onion piece?

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

not sure which is scariest. that hes a candidate and said that, or that his followers are going "yea man! change!" somewhere nodding their heads.


oh thank god its satire   still scary that i bought it for a while

[Jamisjockey]

Three words?
1) Hope
2) Change
3) The
4) Future


THE MAN CAN'T EVEN COUNT!
 

And if that is real, its scary.  Iraq can't be undone.  You can't undo history.  "We shouldn't have gone there" isn't a solution.  Its like when your kid throws food on the floor:  "You shouldn't have thrown it" isn't an option, the food is already there.  The mess must get cleaned up.

Should we pull out of Iraq? 
Honestly, after seeing success from the surge, I'm starting to doubt that we should pull out soon.

[roo_ster]

Please tell me that was a joke.

It is a joke.

The really funny / scary part is that it can easily be mistaken for reality.

Remember:  Hope.  Change.  The future.

(I'm not going to point out that the APS solution to poverty is to not do the stupid things that lead to poverty in the first place. Really, I'm not. Seriously.)

Go ahead & remind.  I might even agree with you in some particulars.  The applicability in the case of Iraq is pretty limited, however.

[Bogie]

H.G. Wells For Prescient?
 
As for poverty, giving someone something that they'll turn around and waste never helps. It just teaches them that they can get free stuff to waste.

Teaching them how NOT to waste... That's a difficult solution tho, and really beyond a lot of the socially conscious folks out there, who find it much easier to just confiscate money at gunpoint from part of the population to give it to the part of the population who thinks that sugary cereal, potato chips (with dip), sugar soda, and frozen pizzas are a balanced diet.
 
Where I used to work, we had a janitorial staff that was 99% Bosnian immigrants. Those folks would work. Everything was nice. All the time. Hire folks off the welfare rolls, however, and you'd have bad ugliness. Oh, and some of the "janitors" were making some serious bucks, because they volunteered to go to school for hazmat and cleanroom stuff...

[Scout26]

So he's going to name Sherman and Mr. Peabody to his cabinet ?   

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayback_machine

(Yes, I know the OP is satire....)

[lupinus]

is this way of saying he supports funding for time travel research?