Author Topic: Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application  (Read 1330 times)

Preacherman

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« on: May 18, 2006, 01:23:08 PM »
The US Patent Office has an application for a:

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A pulsed gravitational wave wormhole generator system that teleports a human being through hyperspace from one location to another.
See http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&u=/netahtml/PTO/search-adv.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&d=PG01&p=1&S1=20060071122.PGNR.&OS=DN/20060071122&RS=DN/20060071122 for all the gory details.  I particularly like the source of the application:

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BACKGROUND OF THE INVENTION

[0002] The basis for this invention is an event, referring to FIG. 1, occurring on May 2, 2004, in which the inventor ("he") personally experienced a full-body teleportation while walking to the bus stop (A) along a road (B) that runs perpendicular to the nearby commercial airport runways where planes are landing. There is a wide iron grating (D) for water drainage that crosses the road at the center of the bus stop. The grating width is such that one has to make a concerted effort to jump across it in order to get from one side to the other. Approximately 50 meters from the iron grating, he (E) felt a vertical wave (F), similar to a flag waving in the breeze, traveling down the street toward the bus stop. The wave velocity was about 1 meter per second, which was slightly faster than his walking speed. In the next instance, he (G) found himself down the street near the corner of the next block. Realizing that he had passed the bus stop, he turned around to see the iron grating approximately 50 meters up the street in back of him. Because there was no recollection of having jumped across the iron grating nor of having passed the bus stop's yellow marker line, he realized that he had been teleported a distance of 100 meters while moving along with the traveling wave. It was obvious that the wave was pulsed because the front edge overtook the inventor, moved with him momentarily, and then the back edge of wave left him as it moved on down the street. While contemplating this sequence of events, he then looked up and saw in a span of a few seconds a twin-turboprop airplane (C) in the distance crossing above the road while making a shallow descent in order to land at the airport.

[0003] It took a number of days in order to understand this sequence of events. The explanation involves knowledge of a wide range of subjects such as gravitation physics, hyperspace physics, wormhole electromagnetic theory and experimentation, quantum physics, and the nature of the human energy field.

[0004] It is obvious from the above scenario that the airplane momentarily crossing perpendicular to the road generates the aforementioned pulse. Because the airplane has an engine on each wing, there are two propellers which conceivably are rotating out-of-phase with each other. That is, the blade of one propeller could be pointing up and the equivalent blade on the other engine could be pointing in a slightly different direction. Notice that the tip of the blade traces out a helix as the plane is landing.
The mind boggles . . . Cheesy
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crt360

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2006, 02:20:19 PM »
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It was this experiment that resulted in making first contact with the androids of the Grey aliens who told me, in a remote viewing session, that "We saw you blowing smoke into hyperspace."
Amazing.  He's going to get teleported . . . to the funny farm.

Why doesn't he just ask the "Grey aliens" how to to do it?
For entertainment purposes only.

Antibubba

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2006, 06:27:19 PM »
...Because there was no recollection of having jumped across the iron grating nor...

Happens to me all the time.  Someone ought to tell him it has nothing to do with hyperspace.  Tachyons?  No.  Neurons?  Yes.
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grampster

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2006, 06:31:58 AM »
Bourbonons?
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AJ Dual

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2006, 06:53:53 AM »
Having something (worthless) patented can con the gullible into investing.

My $.02...
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Stickjockey

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2006, 09:21:39 AM »
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Bourbonons?
Are these the particles that make up Bitemeum? Wink
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El Tejon

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Attention SF fans: Interesting patent application
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2006, 10:10:10 AM »
This guy has seen "Napoleon Dynamite" one too many times.Cheesy

We just don't allow that in the Gem State.
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