How to get your boyfriend to propose

[MillCreek]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/31/positive-pregnancy-tests-craigslist_n_3848728.html?utm_hp_ref=business

Buy a positive pregnancy test on Craigslist and trick him!  I am sure it will be a marriage made in heaven.

[vaskidmark]

Not the first time a rabbit was traded for a ring.

And if I'm not mistaken, almost all of those types of tests will eventually turn positive regardless of the initial result.  We had a Chief of Security at one of the prisons who was convinced every inmate was using in spite of what the tests were reporting because at the end of the month when he did his reports he physically reviewed each test - and they were all positive.

What's really scary is that in many states the husband is considered to be the legal parent even if DNA testing both proves he could not be the daddy and IDs the biological father.  I've known guys in shaky marriages who have pretty much camped out at the hospital until the clerk with the vital records forms has come around just for the purpose of preventing the mother from naming them as the father.  Most of them did wind up doing DNA testing - and most of those were not daddys.  Of thosse none are still married to the mother.  Only one ended up being held liable for child support - mostly because he ignored notices and failed to go to court.  He eventuallly got sent to prison for non-support.  It was a vast improvement in his living conditions, and he learned both small engine repair and masonry - jobs you can do off the books so Support Enforcement cannot garnish wages.  His current girlfriend - of 13 years - officially keeps him as a boy toy so questions about how he supports himself get deflected.

stay safe.

[RevDisk]

Meh. Less incentive these days to getting married, period. I am far from the stereotype of right wing type, and I will say the entire game is rigged against guys. Divorce, child custody, paternity, etc are generally rigged to be automatically 80-95% in favor of women. There are some loopholes, admittedly. Rapists can actually qualify for partial custody or visitation rights in way too many states. Which is fracking insane, and wrong.

I have some friends that work for family court. Their stories make me nervous about ever getting married. Or rather, think very very long and hard on the subject.

[vaskidmark]

....

I have some friends that work for family court. Their stories make me nervous about ever getting married. Or rather, think very very long and hard on the subject.

And pre-nups are worthless.

Let them stay the weekend, but never let them put stuff in a drawer or a closet, and remind them that the DEA will carry them away if their meds ever get out of their bag.  "Constructive" relationships, like constructive possession, will burn you.

You have been living without the tax break.  Why mess up everything else for a few bucks?

stay safe.

[Tallpine]

It isn't always that way.  We're going on 32 years this fall 

[RoadKingLarry]

We'll make 32 in May.

[Tallpine]

We'll make 32 in May.

Y'all must have started young 

[Daniel964]

Got me beat. I'm only at 22 years married. Looks like we'll be life timers. Both of our parents are in their 70s and 80s.
They have been married for life.  So we both have examples of how to make it work well. I'm 50 and she's 49 so we didn't jump into marriage at an early age.

[Tallpine]

Got me beat. I'm only at 22 years married. Looks like we'll be life timers. Both of our parents are in their 70s and 80s.
They have been married for life.  So we both have examples of how to make it work well. I'm 50 and she's 49 so we didn't jump into marriage at an early age.

Yeah, I was a few days short of 28.  But she was only 20.

[Brad Johnson]

My grandparents made it to 67 before my grandmother's passing.  Mom and Dad just celebrated their 51st. 

I made it to 7 before the ex's Loony Factor exceeded my ability to deny/rationalize it.

Brad

[Fitz]

Yeah, I was a few days short of 28.  But she was only 20.

Sounds like us. She was 19, I was 26

[RoadKingLarry]

Y'all must have started young 

Yes we did, too young, but me we've managed so far.

[BlueStarLizzard]

I'm glad the happily married guys are winning this one.

I wonder about the marriage hate amoung some of you. Yes, I understand you've either been burned or know about guys getting burned, but, seriously, I wonder how much of that involves crappy taste in woman and a serious inability to see this *expletive deleted* coming and say "oh hell no!" when the subject of "marriage" comes up in the relationship.


I've seen awesome marriages that worked and I've seen really crappy ones that don't, and I have to say the crappy ones always seem too start off in a way that make me say "and you didn't see coming? Really?"

[Neemi]

I have to say the crappy ones always seem too start off in a way that make me say "and you didn't see coming? Really?"

I've had a couple of coworkers whose marriages ended and none of us saw it coming. The husband or wife just went absolutely crazy and divorce became the only option literally overnight.

There have been some, though, where we started a pool as to how long the marriage would last - while we were still at the reception.

 

[BlueStarLizzard]

I've had a couple of coworkers whose marriages ended and none of us saw it coming. The husband or wife just went absolutely crazy and divorce became the only option literally overnight.

There have been some, though, where we started a pool as to how long the marriage would last - while we were still at the reception.

 

The real pyscho *expletive deleted*it is pretty rare though. Although, if you get the sane side to talk freely for a bit... Well, usually some real farking huge clues come up.

I've never taken bets, that always seems crass, but I do have to bit my tounge to keep "good luck" from slipping out.

[Neemi]

The one time we took bets... it was family. He laughs about it now.

[Tallpine]

Several of the long term marraiges broke up in the church we left in Colorado, including the pastor and his wife. 

[vaskidmark]

....
I wonder about the marriage hate amoung some of you. Yes, I understand you've either been burned or know about guys getting burned, but, seriously, I wonder how much of that involves crappy taste in woman and a serious inability to see this *expletive deleted* coming and say "oh hell no!" when the subject of "marriage" comes up in the relationship.

I've seen awesome marriages that worked and I've seen really crappy ones that don't, and I have to say the crappy ones always seem too start off in a way that make me say "and you didn't see coming? Really?"

Yeah, but then we'd have nothing fun to talk about.

It's like crime - in the big picture there's not a lot of it, but it's all that the nooz covers.

stay safe.

[Balog]

I've always found it interesting how every single divorced person on the internet was the simon-pure victim of their ex being crazy and unreasonable. Amazing how many marriages end that are solely the fault of the person who's not telling you about it.

[Unisaw]

Several of the long term marraiges broke up in the church we left in Colorado, including the pastor and his wife. 

Our long-time minister back in Virginia divorced his wife of 30+ years within a few months of retiring.  He remarried soon thereafter a woman who had been married 3 times previously.  According to the hens in the congregation, she wasn't too church-like either. 

[Jocassee]

I've always found it interesting how every single divorced person on the internet was the simon-pure victim of their ex being crazy and unreasonable. Amazing how many marriages end that are solely the fault of the person who's not telling you about it.

Aint that the truth.

[Pb]

A lot of men don't want to get married because they are afraid their wife will become unhappy and divorce them.  Then, take most of their money, the kids, and then they will have to pay alimony or child support.

Most divorces are filed by women:

http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html

I am happily married, but can understand why many men would not want to be married, especially those who have seen friends or family go through divorce.  If my wife decided to divorce me, I would probably end up living in a shack.

[Tallpine]

Our long-time minister back in Virginia divorced his wife of 30+ years within a few months of retiring.  He remarried soon thereafter a woman who had been married 3 times previously.  According to the hens in the congregation, she wasn't too church-like either. 

They were a younger couple with two young boys, and he was a very popular pastor of the fastest growing church in town.  Shortly after we left, it all blew up.  I think that I could see problems brewing.  For one thing, I was totally burnt out and one day I just melted down and started quitting things.  My health was toast and I couldn't do it all anymore.  Part of the reason that we moved was that it would have been really awkward to have switched to a different church in that small town after having been so deeply involved for so long.

[Jamisjockey]

18 years.  We started way too young, me 20 and her 18, but I think that had its advantages. 

[SteveS]

Divorce, child custody, paternity, etc are generally rigged to be automatically 80-95% in favor of women.

I haven't found this to be true.  First of all, many people that get divorced are unhappy with the agreement and feel they got the bad end of the deal.  I have represented just as many men as women.  While the laws used to favor women in things like custody, I am not aware of any state that hasn't changed this.  The current laws do favor the parent that does most of the parenting and spends most of the time with the kids.  If you want primary custody, make sure that is you.  Do you really expect a court to award custody to the person that only spends a few hours a week and sticks the kid in daycare most of the time?

As for pre-nups, I suppose it depends on the state, but they are enforceable if done right.