The emptying nest. I never thought it would be so difficult.

[MaterDei]

My 18 year old daughter has left home.  I hope you all don't mind me sharing this with you.

I've always known that the day would eventually come, I just didn't want to face it, I guess.  But man oh man is having a child leave home difficult.  There is a real mix of emotions associated with this event that I've never had to deal with before.  There is total joy on the one hand and a total sense of loss on the other, like somebody ripped out a piece of your heart.  On the sad-happy emotion scale this event is pretty near both ends.  Rather than cancelling each other out, however, they build on one another.  In the end it's hard to be happy because of the grief and it's hard to be sad because of the joy.  It just hurts, that's all.

One day my daughter is mine.



And the next day, she belongs to Someone else.

[cosine]

(This is cosine, formerly Tangent)

Hey, that's great, MaterDei! You may feel a loss, but your joy will overcome that and the hurt will gradually subside. Your daughter should be very happy.

Is this her postulate or novitiate for that Carmelite community?

[MaterDei]

Thanks, cosine.  I realize that the hurt subsides...eventually.  It's only been a week.

She is a postulate in the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration, they are Franciscans not Carmelites.  Her novitiate begins in one year.

[MaterDei]

Imminent incoming Nuns with Guns picture in 5.. 4..

I have some of these!  My daughter has already been assigned the task of teaching some martial arts to the sisters and they have expressed an interest in firearms training as well.

[cosine]

Thanks, cosine.  I realize that the hurt subsides...eventually.  It's only been a week.

She is a postulate in the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration, they are Franciscans not Carmelites.  Her novitiate begins in one year.

I guess I didn't identify the habits as well I though I could. Still, congratulations, both for yourself and for your daughter.

[grampster]

Those are Sisters of Mercy (from whom there is no mercy, indeed ).  They look suspiciously like my teachers from the 4th through the 8th grade at Holy Name of Jesus elementary school, fall of '53 to spring of '57.  That is their class photo after finding out my crew was coming at 'em from the 3rd grade.  

But, Sister, I didn't do tha....whap!   "Young man!  After you stop the bleeding on your knuckles, write 500 times, 'I must be obedient'."  "Yes, Sister."  (Slinks away)

MaterDei:  She was never yours to keep.  You have raised her up to be the best she can be.  That is a credit to you and yours.  Dominus Vobiscum, and I'm sure He is.

[MaterDei]

Those are Sisters of Mercy (from whom there is no mercy, indeed ).  They look suspiciously like my teachers from the 4th through the 8th grade at Holy Name of Jesus elementary school, fall of '53 to spring of '57.  That is their class photo after finding out my crew was coming at 'em from the 3rd grade.  

But, Sister, I didn't do tha....whap!   "Young man!  After you stop the bleeding on your knuckles, write 500 times, 'I must be obedient'."  "Yes, Sister."  (Slinks away)

MaterDei:  She was never yours to keep.  You have raised her up to be the best she can be.  That is a credit to you and yours.  Dominus Vobiscum, and I'm sure He is.

Et cum spiritu tuo my friend

[Felonious Monk/Fignozzle]

Mater Dei,
+1 on what grampster said (the guy rises in my esteem every time I see him post).

Re: your daughter--  She's not waitressing at a honky-tonk.  She's not asking any of us if we'd like to upsize for .39 cents.

She's not living with my drug-dealing, illegitimate baby-making twenty-something brother.

She is following God's plan for her life, to the best of her ability.
I can think of no higher tribute to you, sir.

May we all be as blessed and fortunate.

Fig

[Preacherman]

Materdei, with your faith (and username! ), I'm sure there's a lot of joy in this for you, as well as the sadness of separation.  If you haven't already read it, seek out a copy of "Barefoot Journey" - it'll help you understand more.

As for your daughter, may she serve faithfully and well, filled with the love of God, and may that love overflow from her, through her community and new family, to you, your family, and all the world.  It's a very special and demanding vocation, perhaps the most demanding in the Church - but out of great effort come great rewards.

[Guest]

I can sure sympathize this year..and congratulate you both.

[MaterDei]

Mater Dei,
+1 on what grampster said (the guy rises in my esteem every time I see him post).

Re: your daughter--  She's not waitressing at a honky-tonk.  She's not asking any of us if we'd like to upsize for .39 cents.

She's not living with my drug-dealing, illegitimate baby-making twenty-something brother.

She is following God's plan for her life, to the best of her ability.
I can think of no higher tribute to you, sir.

May we all be as blessed and fortunate.

Fig

ff, thanks for the kind words.

[Standing Wolf]

How come those armed nuns all have their fingers on the triggers?

[280plus]

I'd rather see a nun with a gun than nun with a ruler any day of the week.

Congratulations Mater, you should be very proud.

[Strings]

MaterDei: Franciscan, huh? We have a convent here in town, where my wife's Aunt serves. Congrats (and my sympathies for the feeling of loss)...

[MaterDei]

MaterDei: Franciscan, huh? We have a convent here in town, where my wife's Aunt serves. Congrats (and my sympathies for the feeling of loss)...

Yes, Franciscan.  Specifically she is a Poor Clare.  St. Clare of Assisi approached St. Francis about the possibility of her living the monastic life that his brothers lived.  Francis agreed to help her and she became the abbess of the first Franciscan monastery for women religious.  She was 17 at the time.

[jefnvk]

My parents were happy and sad when I left too.  Happy I was gone, sad when the college bill came in

She looks happy with her choice, be glad she is doing what she wants, and that it will have a positive effect on many people's life.

[Old Fud]

I know your home is empty now, and the emptiness hurts.
But you have not lost her.
You and she will remain bonded for all of your lives.
Bless you both!

Incidentally, the habits look almost identical to those of the Dominican order that taught me for 8 years of grade school, and which accepted my sister.
Only difference I can see is the Dominicans had a large rosary hanging from their belts, and not the knotted cord.

Good wishes and kind thoughts.
Fud

[MaterDei]

I know your home is empty now, and the emptiness hurts.
But you have not lost her.
You and she will remain bonded for all of your lives.
Bless you both!

Incidentally, the habits look almost identical to those of the Dominican order that taught me for 8 years of grade school, and which accepted my sister.
Only difference I can see is the Dominicans had a large rosary hanging from their belts, and not the knotted cord.

Good wishes and kind thoughts.
Fud

Thanks, Fud.  My home is not empty yet.  My darling little bride is still here as are my 5 other children.  In fact, my home is quite full physically, it only feels somewhat empty.  My second child is also a girl.  She's 15 and is discerning a religious vocation of her own.  If God chooses a religious life for her too I think I'll be more prepared this time.  

jefnvk,  I AM glad that she is doing what she is doing.  But doing what she wants?  Hehe, I don't think so.  She has never had a strong interest in doing what she wants, she was always concerned in doing what God wanted her to do.  Think of the sacrifices and sufferings associated with her chosen life.  She has given up everything for her Beloved.  She is giving up her youth (she just turned 18 in September), she is giving up her body and with it the opportunity to have children, and she is giving up her very freedom (she can never come home again or travel anywhere without the abbess' permission) all for God.  She has died to the world, rather she is dying to the world.  I know that she feels great satisfaction in the fact that she is doing God's will, and happiness comes with that.  But she, like all of us, has wants that she would like to fulfill.

I'm very proud of her.

[Lennyjoe]

I know the feeling.  My 21 year old son left last year to try it out on his own.  He is now moving back in to get his feet back on solid ground.  The cost of living on his own and a job that didn't pay enough hurt him pretty bad.  So I offered him his room back so he can get back on top.  He starts a new job shortly for the TSA.

On the other hand, my 18 year old daughter who is a freshman at the University of Arizona wants to move out to an apartment closer to campus with a friend (female) of hers.  She  thinks she will have more freedom and the independence that goes with it.  I told her to sit down and talk to her brother on how hard it is now adays to live out on your own making under $10 an hour.  

We as parents do the best we can to teach our offspring on the realities of life.  Eventually they will fan out on their own.  All we can do then is support them on their decisions and guide them in the right direction.  It hurts to see them go but it's something that is coming whether we want it to or not.

Hat's off to your daughter for the decision she has made in serving our creator.