Post by: Zed on August 29, 2006, 08:06:22 PM
Quote
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that
life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable Parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in
charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses (501 (c)3 tax exempt); and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was
awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that
life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable Parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in
charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses (501 (c)3 tax exempt); and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was
awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.
Post by: cosine on August 29, 2006, 08:17:01 PM
(You're not 280, so I can't needle you. 
280 will understand.)
Post by: 280plus on August 30, 2006, 01:15:02 AM
Post by: Zed on September 01, 2006, 01:06:07 PM
Post by: cosine on September 01, 2006, 01:22:58 PM
Quote from: Zed
erm, did i mis something?
Yeah, kind of. Over the last several days 280 went on a posting spree, posting a bunch of well-worn Internet jokes and "facts," and I had been teasing him for never hearing them before or running across them on the Internet before. 
I've ran across the obituary you posted before, and like I said, it's one of my favorites because in a certain sense it is so true!
Post by: Zed on September 01, 2006, 01:36:28 PM
Unfortunitly that obituary is a little "To True".....
Post by: Antibubba on September 01, 2006, 05:34:48 PM
Post by: Brad Johnson on September 02, 2006, 09:14:17 AM
Brad