The Ten Most Useless Pickups Ever

[Ben]

I can't really argue with their list, especially #1, which bugs the crap out of me. I'm surprised the Avalanche wasn't listed.

http://jalopnik.com/the-ten-most-useless-trucks-ever-built-1631003122?utm_source=recirculation&utm_medium=recirculation&utm_campaign=fridayPM

[French G.]

They missed Honda Ridgeline. Looks like a truck, built like a car.  i can't argue with the list, but now I want a rotary powered Mazda. I got my mother to buy a Subaru Baja 10 years ago when she thought she wanted a truck. No doubt she is still alive due to this. She has no business in RWD and high Cg vehicles. And they are good at one thing, cult following. That stupid Baja will sell within a week for way more than a comparable Outback.  Like as much as you paid for it if you got a good deal.

[Hawkmoon]

I have never thought of the Chevy SSR as a "retro styled pickup." It's more of a roadster wannabe ... not a pickup.

[Boomhauer]

I hate brodozers.

The class I'm in here at the tech college has several people with them. Daddy's money jacked it up for them, they love to "roll coal", and these things are the very definition of highly polished turd.

[MechAg94]

No one who ever bought a GMC Syclone did so thinking they were buying a work truck. 

I was disappointed with #1.  Went from specific models to a generic modified show truck. 

[birdman]

I can't really argue with their list, especially #1, which bugs the crap out of me. I'm surprised the Avalanche wasn't listed.

http://jalopnik.com/the-ten-most-useless-trucks-ever-built-1631003122?utm_source=recirculation&utm_medium=recirculation&utm_campaign=fridayPM

I had a 3/4 ton avalanche, it was actually quite useful.  Why do you think they aren't?

[Ben]

I had a 3/4 ton avalanche, it was actually quite useful.  Why do you think they aren't?

As a pickup? Cargo area carrying capacity and length for stuff like lumber and larger items. For sports use, like carrying camping equipment, or SCUBA equipment without getting saltwater and sand inside your car or SUV, I'm sure they're fine. I was reading the article as rating trucks based on utilitarian function for "work" type stuff.

[Boomhauer]

I guess my question about the Avalanche is...why? What real advantage does it offer over a standard pickup truck?

[roo_ster]

I guess my question about the Avalanche is...why? What real advantage does it offer over a standard pickup truck?

GM can charge more for them?

[brimic]

No one who ever bought a GMC Syclone did so thinking they were buying a work truck. 

I was disappointed with #1.  Went from specific models to a generic modified show truck. 

Yeah, the whole purpose of the syclone was to build a hotrod, wuthout having to deal with cafe standards placed on cars

I like the quip about the c/k with the olds deisel- the olds deisel wasn't meant to be a diesel engine, it was meant to be a race engibe fir the oldsmobile racing program, they made them into deisels and sold them to the passenger vehicle market in order that the engine could could meet certain 'production car' rules for racing organization.
Converted to gasoline, they can take 1000+hp with no modifications, sonthing that would tear a chevy small block to pieces.

[Brad Johnson]

Have to disagree with them on including the Syclone and Ram.  These were no-apologies hot rods with only vestigial nods to their utilitarian roots. Anyone to use them as a truck deserved every bit of misery they were bound to suffer. The SSR? I actually kinda liked it for it's new-retro styling and decent performance. Same thing with it as with the other two muscle trucks. They are hot rods wrapped in truck-shaped sheetmetal. Putting them on a "most useless trucks" list is akin to the same mentality you get with Fudds talking down SBRs. 

The rest? Meh. Most had a use somewhere, though I will agree wholeheartedly with their comments on the Olds-based 5.7 diesel. The only good to come of that turd was it had a damned strong lower end. Junkyard blocks were excellent starting point for a budget gas-burner.

Brad

[Perd Hapley]

The SSR is kind of a neat-looking vehicle.

Obviously, no one is going to make it their farm truck, or the prime mover for their landscaping side jobs. 

[Boomhauer]

The SSR is kind of a neat-looking vehicle.

Obviously, no one is going to make it their farm truck, or the prime mover for their landscaping side jobs.  

Herectic!

This is APS, where the only acceptable trucks have vinyl bench seats (with only lap belts!), a carbureted straight six engine, hand crank windows, rubber floormats, unboosted steering and brakes, and a column manual shifter. Also no A/C!

Anything more is "not a truck"

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

I 've got power steering in one truck...... And shoulder belts. But I don't wear em


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[Boomhauer]

I 've got power steering in one truck...... And shoulder belts. But I don't wear em


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I forgot the mostly metal, thinly covered dash for the occupant's head to slam against in a crash...

[Brad Johnson]

*cough* gastankinthecab *cough*

Brad

[French G.]

*cough* gastankinthecab *cough*

Brad

Reminds me, I've got a 69 C20 with my name on it too, just need some serious resto work.

[birdman]

As a pickup? Cargo area carrying capacity and length for stuff like lumber and larger items. For sports use, like carrying camping equipment, or SCUBA equipment without getting saltwater and sand inside your car or SUV, I'm sure they're fine. I was reading the article as rating trucks based on utilitarian function for "work" type stuff.

Same bed length/width as a short bed pickup (without opening the mid-gate, 8' with, same or more space as a quad-cab, fully lockable bed cover stock, access to the bed from the inside of the truck, tows >10,000lbs.
I used mine for work.

[Perd Hapley]

Herectic!

This is APS, where the only acceptable trucks have vinyl bench seats (with only lap belts!), a carbureted straight six engine, hand crank windows, rubber floormats, unboosted steering and brakes, and a column manual shifter. Also no A/C!

Anything more is "not a truck"

I don't remember what my dad's criteria are, for an actual truck, but pick-ups do not meet them.

[brimic]

I don't remember what my dad's criteria are, for an actual truck, but pick-ups do not meet them.

My criteria for a truck are: its not a truck until it has a dent in it.

[wmenorr67]

Trucks are made to haul things and people.  If you are worried about scratching it up and denting it you don't have a truck.

[KD5NRH]

I'm just surprised I've never seen this around town:


It's funny how many vehicles there are here that have to avoid the main drag because they'll high center on the railroad tracks.  I've driven here for over 20 years and I still can't remember all the places my southern-engineered exhaust will drag, and I can't imagine most of them wouldn't actually get stuck in those spots.

[Jamisjockey]

"Slammed show trucks..."

What kind of asshattery is this?  You can ruin a useful truck by slamming it.

Useless as teats on a boar hog:
Ridgeline
Avalanche
By skipping those models, the authors proved they are imbeciles.

[Harold Tuttle]

a buddy had an avalanche
it was fun, if the item you needed in the bed, rolled to the front

the high fashion bed pillar thing prevented you from reaching in from the side

[KD5NRH]

Subaru Baja; making the Brat the pinnacle of Subaru's truck-building achievements.