Unless they changed it, Macs can't write to NTFS, just read from it. So stick with FAT32, which both support. FAT32 has a four gig file size limit, so if you're using the drive for any type of major video work (backing VHS tapes up to DVD, or creating your own from DV or whatever), you're going to want to use a modern file system. (Note: there are ways to author a DVD to get around the four gig limit.)
If you want to use a modern file system, you've got two options. The free one is to keep the drive plugged in to the windows PC 24/7, and have the mac access it over the network in your house instead of through the USB cable (OSX can use the Windows File Sharing protocol.) The commercial solution is to format the drive in HFS+ and install MacDrive on any PCs that will access the drive.
For what it's worth, I have a friend who had the exact same situation, and he ended up using MacDrive. (He bought the two-license version, one for his windows desktop, and one for his girlfriend's laptop. It's pretty cheap if you buy it that way.) But, he needed to get around the four gig limit.
Edited to add: I just checked, and Mediafour has a decent single-license discount and a great five-license discount for students. If he's in college, he can fax in a copy of his student ID and get it cheaper -
http://www.mediafour.com/academic/education.asp