Author Topic: Oh lord these are getting funnier!  (Read 848 times)

K Frame

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Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« on: January 10, 2007, 05:11:08 AM »
This one takes the cake for bad grammar! 

He "pressurized" the woman? What, her spare was low? laugh


FROM REV OMOH, MY SINCERE COMPESANTION TO YOU
Dear Colleague,

On a very happy note and bearing in mind the staunch commitment that
you had
put into the quest to see that the fund was moved to you for claim as
we had
arranged but to no avail, I write to inform you that at last, the
business
had been a SUCCESS.

Since all our effort in conjunction with yours were met with various
failures and disappointments after the other, there was an influential
party
from Britain that was approached on our behalf by a Finance &
Management
Supports Initiatives(a consulting firm); and with her (influential
party)
imputes, the Fund was paid out and I have collected my own share.

Presently, I am in Ecuador where, in partnership with a core investor
in the
Mining Sector of their economy, we are investing in the industry.

But, I am not oblivious of the fact that you did your best in that
context,
although, it seem that element of doubt crept in. You were not to
blame, as
there were many circumstances that would reflect such scepticism to any
reasonable being.
For your sincere but unfruitful sacrifices, I pressurized the
influential
woman to concede some amount as COMPENSATION to you, for the resource
that
you imp lunged even the time and inconveniences.

The sum of USD 2,000,000(two million united states dollars) was what
she
agreed to as your compensation value, and the sum was made in draft
but,
because of my appointment in Ecuador and too, I could not get through
to you
since your number at any time indicated "not in use", I then handed it
over
to the Secretary of the Finance & Management Supports Initiatives, the
consulting firm. His name is MR JOHN KENTand his email:
mrjohnkent001@walla.com OR call him on 00229-934-344-13

The Secretary is very much informed by me about you and I instructed
him to
hand over the Draft you as soon as you contact him. I gave him the CODE
707,
which you have to mention for identification.

Note that at times I will be in the site and the Internet does not work
there. Only when I am in the city.

Yours Sincerely,
REV PHILIP OMOH

Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

cosine

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Re: Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2007, 06:02:51 AM »
Just today I got an email warning me of some problem with my Wells Fargo bank account. The email was kind enough to provide me with a link to click so I could go directly log in to fix the problem.  rolleyes

The funny part: I don't have any accounts with Wells Fargo.
Andy

K Frame

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Re: Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2007, 06:08:36 AM »
Last year or the year before I got one of those for a bank that had been bought out by another bank over a year before.

'tards!  rolleyes
Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

wingnutx

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Re: Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 06:38:07 AM »
The grammar and vocabulary in jihadi propaganda isn't much better:

Quote
An Iraqi insurgent propaganda video, containing what is described as a Christmas message from a U.S. soldier taped just before he was killed, appeared on dozens of Web sites and on the al Jazeera network.

But a lot about the video does not add up, including the fact that ABC News found the supposedly dead soldier is "alive and well" and present for duty, according to a U.S. Army spokesman at Fort Campbell, Ky.

"There are a whole bunch of lies on that tape," said Lt. Col. Ed Loomis at Fort Campbell. "It is nothing but a total fabrication."

A producer at al Jazeera said it would change its description of the video after learning from ABC News that the soldier was not dead.

The tape begins in dramatic form with the title "Lee's Life for Lies."

It is supposedly a Christmas greeting from a U.S. soldier, Specialist Lee Kimball Tucker, sent to his family in Florida before he was killed.

First there are scenes of Tucker celebrating his birthday with his buddies.

Then a cut to an attack on a U.S. Army humvee and its aftermath.

An insurgent narrator says the insurgents found a computer flash drive in the wreckage that belonged to Tucker and purports to play it.

A voice says, "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm so glad I could send you my third Christmas greetings letter."

Lt. Col. Loomis told ABC News that while the pictures appear to be authentic, it was a case of Tucker's identity being stolen in Iraq.

The voice identified as Tucker says he and his fellow soldiers became violent and reckless searching for insurgents.

"The crimes by our soldiers during break-ins started to merge, such as burglary, harassment, raping and random manslaughter," says the voice. "Why are we even here? The people hate us."

Laura Mansfield, an Arabic language analyst at Strategic Translations, said this is a new trick in the jihadists' propaganda campaign.

"This is part of a very shrewd campaign to reach a U.S. audience, soldiers and voters," she said. "It is in English and forgives most soldiers and Americans, calling on them to help end the war."

Also on the tape is a description, supposedly from Tucker, of how soldiers buy their way out of dangerous night patrols and gun turret duty with cash and drugs.

"The marijuana-rolled cigarettes are the rare currency capable of buying or changing anything. The drugs goes all around here," says the voice.

And it ends with a final denunciation of U.S. leaders and policy.

"What we are doing here is so disgraceful; our acts are shameful," says the voice. He then signs off, "Specialist Lee Kimball Tucker."

All very powerful from a dead soldier, except for the fact that Lee Kimball Tucker is not dead.

His family says he returned from Iraq in May and was with them over the holidays so he would not have been sending any messages home.

There will be an internal investigation at Fort Campbell to determine how the insurgents got a hold of the home video of the soldiers, and Fort Campbell officials are urging all soldiers to take further precautions against identity theft.

Tucker's mother Pam of Fort Worth, Texas, told ABC News that Tucker is not anti-war and that he could be returning to Iraq later this year.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/2007/01/dead_us_soldier.html

"The marijuana-rolled cigarettes are the rare currency capable of buying or changing anything." Yup, sounds like normal American diction to me.

I'm sure everyone ends a Christmas card to their mom with their rank and full name, too.

Doh.

Strings

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Re: Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2007, 01:27:01 PM »
Looked like standard mugu-speak to me. The lads ain't real educated, ya know?

Perd Hapley

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Re: Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2007, 01:42:08 PM »
mugu?  Huh?  Me like funny words.
"Doggies are angel babies!" -- my wife

Strings

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Re: Oh lord these are getting funnier!
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2007, 02:07:04 PM »
If you want to see some folks having fun with these, go to www.thescambaiter.com

 "Mugu" is one way of refering to the Nigerian lads...