Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: SpookyPistolero on March 14, 2005, 07:42:47 AM
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Well to celebrate Spring Break, I couldn't think of a more cathartic activity than turning on my new Rage Against the Machine cd and cleaning what may be the most filthy apartment this side of the Mississippi. And let me tell you, it's a good time. (In fact, if anyone in Kentucky feels left out from this fun, feel free to stop by and jump right in...)
Anyway, the real reason I am getting this place cleaned is because my roommate, the true slob of this pad, is in Europe on vacation with his siblings right now. He certainly left some interesting parting gifts before he left.
I'm only about 1/3 the way done right now, so I might have better stories yet to come, but after 6 bags of garbage I feel I have some pretty scary finds.
The worst? A band-aid used on a large gash he had on his stomach (and this guy is Chewbacca) that 'missed' the trash can in the living room and has been resting comfortably beside the couch for some time. Oh, the humanity! I almost stuck my hand in the fireplace after picking it up, even using a napkin.
Next up, and this is just a personal hatred, he left me a lovely 5-day old bowl of milk left over from his cereal. Let me tell you, that smelled great.
So as a reward for myself, anything too nasty gets dumped in his room, and I keep any and all change I find. I think that's fair, don't you?
Now I want to hear the nastiest (or most amazing) things you guys have found when cleaning your homes. Surely someone can top lots of old milk and used band-aids!
The race is on...
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Why, just yesterday we wre cleaning out the garage to try to get it into shape a bit for moving. I opened a small cooler thinking it was empty. Nope, hadn't been empty since a summertime picnic last year sometime. What was left was fetid, deep black, and runny. Some of it got on my hand. We threw the cooler out.
Love, James
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Two more fun ones:
Found an old coffee travel mug he had. When I poured it out, a 1/4" thick ring of mold growth plopped into the sink.
(This one gets me) Torn off toe-nail bits ON THE EDGE OF THE COFFEE TABLE.
I think I should just set this place on fire and move on, start anew....
Jamz, I know of the primordial ooze of which you speak. Scary stuff. I'm fairly certain that neither bleach nor kriptonite can kill it, and it only grows stronger if you try to clean it out. Good call on tossing it.
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before i finished the first post i thought to myself....
apartment fire...
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I went away for 3 months and my roommates didn't clean once the whole time I was gone. It was awful. The worst was the gallon of milk in the fridge that was 3 months expired and all separated. They thought it was cool...
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Some friends of mine in college left soup in a bowl on the kitchen counter until it began producing a truly biohazardous aroma. The same guys kept their Halloween Jack-o-lantern until Christmas. It had shrunk down into a little orange head which they then used as an ornament for the top of their Christmas tree.