Post by: Seymour Skinner on November 25, 2005, 01:10:42 AM
Any Jerry Springer type brawls? Any announcements made at the dinner table (pregnancies, marriages, "meet my new lesbian lover," "wanna see my new tattoo") type stuff?
Post by: 280plus on November 25, 2005, 01:32:08 AM
No discussions of Hairy Potty though. THAT couple spent the day elsewhere this year.
Post by: mtnbkr on November 25, 2005, 04:00:44 AM
Politically, spiritually, and personality-wise, we're all pretty much on the same page. It makes for a very boring holiday season.
Chris
Post by: Moondoggie on November 25, 2005, 05:05:42 AM
Found out that another nephew (with girlfriend) that attended is about to make a big step and buy an engagement ring....AFTER SIX YRS OF DATING AN ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL GIRL. She's a school teacher, also works at Home Depot, never been married, no kids, and just a living doll. They're both in their early 30's and he's been dragging his feet because of a bad 1st marriage. Everybody in the family has been putting a boot up his wazoo to get on with it, but she finally put her foot down "Ring by Christmas or you're out of here, Dude." Last year at Christmas I publicly told them "If you marry Katie for New Year's, I'll write you a check for $2500 right now to cover the honeymoon to Vegas"...and I meant it. My wife didn't bat an eye at the proposed expenditure, and you have no idea what a tightwad she is.
Nothing else to report, no red lights or sirens.
Post by: Guest on November 25, 2005, 05:28:28 AM
Don't ask about the Serbian thing. I have no idea. I don't know what a lot of that stuff was but it tasted pretty good.
Post by: Guest on November 25, 2005, 05:38:52 AM
Funny:
I Lost my mom in the Cracker Barrel , she was supposed to be "I'll stay right here", yep, she wandered off, seems she saw a kid playing with some toy and wandered over to investigate. She did this before our table was ready -only a 5 min wait ("I'm not thru looking yet...") and after the meal.
Ha! You think keeping up with kids is tough. I was not the only one trying to find Adults and when did..."now honey, put that down - our table is ready". My mom had both a toy, and candy in hand...
--
Annoying:
Get back to her place and both the landline and her cell phone rings - her kids actually called. Oh not to really check on her or be sincere in wishes...to rub it in where and what they were doing.
"They want to say Hi".
"I don't have any sibs, no I will not say hello"
"It is T-Day"
"So is T-day the only day these pious ,goody two shoed , pew sitting folks actually give Thanks - or they need to be able to say they called their mom to get honorable mention and Amen in church...or just want attention?
I made sure I replied loud enough for to hear me over the phone...
Then I got pissed. Seems the 8 y/o neice, told Grandma "Steve is so cool, but I am mad. Mom and threw away my "dana" on my mirror".
I'd sent by way of mom a Gadson Flag on a bandanaa couple of years ago "so cool", it used to hang off her mirror and wherever else she hung it in her room. Playing T-Ball or on her kids 4 wheeler she wore it..."makes me do better".
Now to find that child a new bandana. I need to find a really good one to piss of her parents with. Now if I could only talk mom into getting this 8 y/o girl a T shirt to sleep in with a really good Pro Gun message on it....:evil grin:
Post by: 280plus on November 25, 2005, 05:53:23 AM
Hey Barbara, was one of those handsome Navy guys your son?
Post by: K Frame on November 25, 2005, 05:59:30 AM
I can vouch for that.
I have to ask... Does your daughter beat up on your family the way she beats up on me, or does she save the toddler-fu for non-relatives?
It was just me, Mom, and Dad this year, so no big deal.
Oh, and the 4 dogs.
Post by: Guest on November 25, 2005, 06:01:48 AM
Post by: grampster on November 25, 2005, 10:33:29 AM
I had a turkey samwich this afternoon and no cold stuffing. I think I'm going to have to take to my bed or drink a couple bottles of wine. Sob.
Post by: Moondoggie on November 25, 2005, 01:11:58 PM
I was sauteeing the neck/diced giblet meat with garlic, onion, celery and I clandestinely slipped the liver/gizzard/heart meat into the trash. When the wife discovered my skulduggery she chewed me out for not feeding it to the dog instead of trashing it. I love that woman!
Post by: K Frame on November 25, 2005, 01:43:07 PM
Heathen.
Post by: Iain on November 25, 2005, 01:52:00 PM
Post by: Moondoggie on November 25, 2005, 02:00:01 PM
There's plenty of meat on a 20+ pounder...don't NEED no guts with my holiday dinner. Guts are for survival situations.
Our dog is 10, and no offensive gastro-intestinal problems on his part!
Post by: K Frame on November 25, 2005, 04:08:39 PM
Giblets go in the gravy. Gizzard I'm not crazy about. You need the tang that they add.
Post by: Standing Wolf on November 25, 2005, 04:21:12 PM
Post by: Strings on November 25, 2005, 05:31:40 PM
And then there's this gem:
>I have to ask... Does your daughter beat up on your family the way she beats up on me, or does she save the toddler-fu for non-relatives?<
Mike, man... let it go. You're just making yourself look worse, whining about how a lil' girl beats up on ya... :neener:
Post by: Monkeyleg on November 25, 2005, 07:15:33 PM
Pardon my negative holiday attitude, but I absolutely hate the holidays, and for a number of reasons.
One is that the holidays have always interfered with business. Can't make sales calls. Call me Scrooge, but I don't care.
Another is that I pretty much dislike 50% of my relatives. I have one sister-in-law who went out and bought 64 nightgowns in one day, with the rationale that she would only have to wash them a few times a year. She also went out on one ocassion and bought 700 pounds of dry dog food, which have been molding in her basement. A few years ago, she had her head buzz-cut and her hair dyed blaze orange (she's 64). She covers it up by wearing I don't know how many wigs.
Yeah, I really want to talk to her. Actually, I hardly ever talk to her, anyway. Prior to my father's quintuple bypass surgery years back, she called him nightly to harangue about the benefits of natural herbs and spices, and to blame my mother for cooking "bad food". She only stopped calling when I told her that, if anything happened to my father because of the stress she was putting on him, I'd put a bullet in the back of her head.
Another sister-in-law can't stop talking. As God is my Witness, I haven't talked to my brother (her husband) in decades. Every time I ask him a question, she takes over and answers it. She's loud, obnoxious, and detested by every sane member of my family, including her children. On top of that, she loves to talk about her job at a local hospital. Nothing like hearing loud, obnoxious stories about death and disease while trying to digest a meal.
Yup, there's a reason to get together.
On the in-law side, I have a coke-head brother-in-law who's either cleaning up his act, or attacking another family member with a butcher knife. The SOB ruined one of my best Cajun meals on New Year's Eve 2001 when he went after his brother with a knife and I had to go over to the house and intervene. I had plans for my wife and I for that night, if you know what I mean. Someday I'm going to get him for that.
On top of that, his girlfriend is on so many psychotropic drugs that talking to her is like talking to a potted plant. At least the plant looks good, assuming it's well-watered and gets the proper amount of sunlight. She looks like she hasn't seen sunlight since the year 1187.
Another brother-in-law knows more about trains--real or model trains--than most anyone else would ever want to know, especially me. He also likes to use his 2,000,000 mega-watt stereo system to blast the sound from the train wreck scene from "The Fugitive" while everyone is eating. I kid you not: he has cracked walls while doing this.
Then there's the other brother-in-law who's now near 50. He knows one thing and knows it well: the space launches from the 1960's. Last Thanksgiving he cornered me for nearly an hour to talk about all of the various fuels used to launch the Apollo craft, and the benefits of each fuel. If he worked for NASA, I might have been more attuned. Given that he works as a janitor at McDonald's, my interest waned quickly.
Last June I had surgery on my inner ear. The surgeon told me that I would need to have it done again in six to eight months. I said, "make it six."
He questioned my reasons, but finally accepted two: one was that, if we went into 2006, he would be paid very slowly. (Old Henny Youngman joke: "Doctor Welzer is here. A wonderful doctor. Gave a guy six months to live. Guy couldn't pay his bill, so Doctor Welzer gave him another six months.")
The other reason was that, per his instructions, I was not to do anything to raise my blood pressure following surgery.
And my family certainly does raise my blood pressure.
Post by: Strings on November 25, 2005, 07:23:20 PM
Post by: roo_ster on November 26, 2005, 02:23:58 AM
If forced to divulge something funny/annoying, I guess I could note the sheer volume of coffee my mom drinks: 3-4 pots of coffee per day. Nearly a gallon, on average. She even makes a pot of coffee before going to bed.
Post by: DrAmazon on November 26, 2005, 03:49:38 AM
Spent "black Friday" by myself, wandering around the Smithsonian (Natural History), until it got crowded, then headed to the National Gallery to see the exhibit of Audubon prints. It was a nice relaxed day.
Only 2 weeks until the end of the semester, so I have my work cut out for me.
Post by: Guest on November 26, 2005, 04:10:47 AM
Quote
Barbara, don't tell me that you went all the way to Chicago to troll for sailors.
I sure did. They were very handsome young men, too.
Post by: grampster on November 26, 2005, 06:06:07 AM
Why don't you film one of your get togethers? It might turn into a cult classic like "A Christmas Story".
Post by: grislyatoms on November 26, 2005, 06:34:46 AM
Instead of the usual baked potatoes, I decided to make mashed potatoes this year. Peeled 'em, cut 'em up, boiled 'em, etc.
Put them in a bowl on the counter and attacked them with the hand mixer. Potatoes flew all over the kitchen.
I thought I might have to perform cpr on my daughter she was laughing so hard.
Next time I am going to use a bigger bowl, and put said bowl in the sink.
Also not going to use the super turbo charged, whirling whisks of death speed setting on the mixer!
Post by: Guest on November 26, 2005, 09:52:48 AM
Post by: DJJ on November 26, 2005, 04:11:13 PM
Post by: garyk/nm on November 26, 2005, 04:43:47 PM
Post by: mtnbkr on November 26, 2005, 04:55:28 PM
Quote from: DJJ
Geez, am I the only one whose life/family isn't a soap opera?
No. My family and my wife's family are as boring as they come. Heck, we don't even have a single divorce that anyone can think of.Chris
Post by: Felonious Monk/Fignozzle on November 26, 2005, 06:01:30 PM
We drove to civilization aka an Atlanta suburb to have T Day with my wife's mom. Her oldest daughter is a bigwig executive director of a state funded drug/alcohol prevention program up in rural NY state. Smart, conservative in a liberal bastion Blue State, and fun.
Younger daughter (SWMBO's the middle child) is living next door to Mom now, on her 5th marriage and has been in and out of treatment for Anorexia 3 times. She never came over to her Mom's house at all while we were there, so we stuck our heads in the door and said hi on the way out of town. That was kinda nice.
Mom's mother and sister both had Alzheimer's pretty badly before they died, and Mom's not nearly as sharp as she once was...keeping an eye on her.
All in all, a pretty typical day in my carnival-ride world.
Post by: w turner on December 03, 2005, 03:52:55 PM
Mom's side....
Grandparents raised their kids and most of THEIR kids me included until I was 12. Have been raising the youngest cousin (currently 4yo) since 8 weeks after birth due to my uncle and his newest wife not having their priorities in order. Said cousin was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (same family as Autism), but my GF still treats him like he is 1. Same cousin pushed my 16 mo old son down when he decided he wanted my son's toy. My aunt handled it VERY well, but my grandfather couldn't stand to see him disciplined. Took strong words and direct eye contact to keep my grandfather out of it. Words like "favoritism" and "not coming for Christmas". He spent most of the time were there after that outside away form everyone else.
Dad's side.......
Where do I start.....drinking, my brother #1 stills owes me money from 6 months ago but somehow found the money to buy a new guitar and pills for all of his inlaws, my 22 year old cousin and 20 year old cousin (unrelated to each other) still live there, brother #2 got fired (justifiably) from the same place I work about 2 weeks before T-giving, my Dad/step-mothers house is disgusting, my son was cranky due to the time of dinner and having been in the car most of the day
Thankfully my inlaws don't do Thanksgiving and the entire extended family come in for Chrsitmas so my wife's parents are usually on their better behavior. MIL is bi-polar but undiagnosed and FIL had a personality changing stroke two years ago. BIL #1 and his son are fairly normal, BIL #2 is ok too, just a little different.
W