Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: K Frame on November 24, 2011, 01:36:15 AM
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Mom's baking pies and preheating the oven.
I walk into the kitchen and wonder why the inside of the oven looks like an arc light.
I open the door just in time to see the element give its last gasp and die.
Less than a minute after Lowe's closes.
So, my brother and I spend an hour swapping elements, and coming up with a way to make the top broiler element into the bottom roaster/baking element.
Actually works well. But it's a "solution" we don't like.
Family is taking a bit later, and my sister-in-law makes an aside reference to table top NESCO style roaster.
Light dawns in my brother's and my eyes at the same time.
Half hour later we're back from WalMart with a GE roaster that claims to be able to handle a 21 pound bird.
We'll see., but hopefully the oven issue is solved until Mom and I hit Lowe's on Friday morning and pick out a new stove for her Christmas gift.
I love this *expletive deleted*it at the Holidays...
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Thank God for Stouffers. ;)
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Golden Corral FTW.... :P
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Golden Corral FTW.... :P
Hey, they just introduced the chocolate fountain at the GCs down here...
(no way in hell would I use it)
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I have the Rival version of that roaster. It'll work fine.
My last good one was Independence day. On the 3rd, while at home depot with a buddy buying supplies to fix the roof after last spring's hailstorms, his phone rings, and it's his wife telling him that my disposal has exploded. (I still don't get why it happened that way.) Water under the cabinet, sparks, tripped GFCI, the works.
So, instead of fixing the roof, we end up searching all over town to find a place that sells the disposal I want. We get it home, go to install it, and end up redoing the whole sink ring thingy and half the plumbing. Turns out later there was a universal mounting kit in the bottom of the box (directions be damned!).
The next day, I cook up a nice meal and we have the whole family over. It was a brisket that I cooked in that roaster. Wife's grandmother is doing dishes when the sink stops draining... Guess our plumbing adventure dislodged some gunk and plugged it. It's now 8PM, and the family wants fireworks, so plumbing is abandoned. Dishes are piled up on the counter.
The next day, we get one of those drain king thingies and finally unplug the drain (after somehow managing to cram 50' of snake down the cleanout without finding anything). All is well. I tell the wife that all is well and go to put the tools away. I hear her start to do the dishes. I come back out of the garage just in time to see her drain the grease from the roaster... Into the sink. :facepalm:
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Bird does, in fact, fit in the roaster. It's cooking right now.
First year I was in my house, Christmas Eve I had to work a half day. She called me and asked "Why don't we have any hot water?"
Tank sprang a leak and shorted everything out.
My "candle light" services that year were a blowtorch in the basement as I sweated pipes.
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Steaks at the FIL's place on the shore of Lake Mathis, in the South of Texas, where it will be 75degF today.
I'll back two pumpkin pies, though.
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Bird does, in fact, fit in the roaster. It's cooking right now.
First year I was in my house, Christmas Eve I had to work a half day. She called me and asked "Why don't we have any hot water?"
Tank sprang a leak and shorted everything out.
My "candle light" services that year were a blowtorch in the basement as I sweated pipes.
You could always use that propane torch to cook your turkey.....
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Could always have smoked the bird.
Ribeyes on the grill today here.
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This is why you find someone else's family to do thanksgiving with.
I go to my bosses house. So much better then going out to my uncles cabin outside luray.
Marge always destroys something, her cooking isn't bad, but its nothing special and she always starts talking about politics which starts a fight, because she's a card carrying, "its for the children", whiney, illogical liberal and I think she likes making my Dads blood pressure go into orbit.
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We're just doing a quiet Thanksgiving at home with just us this year. Got friends coming over Saturday though. Weather permitting (and it's not looking great) I'll go shooting with my buddy at a gravel pit range.
Christmas will be nuts though. My parents are coming up shortly after a friend from Germany leaves. Then the inlaws after my folks.
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Hey, they just introduced the chocolate fountain at the GCs down here...
(no way in hell would I use it)
Not even for . . . bacon?
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Not even for . . . bacon?
You go right ahead and stick your bacon where little kids have stuck their fingers, licked, and then repeated.
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You go right ahead and stick your bacon where little kids have stuck their fingers, licked, and then repeated.
You have an Immune System. use it. :P
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Had the kitchen faucet blow up the the day before thanksgiving. Of course it was a grohe and no one caries the parts around here. Rip out and replace.
Had one of those turkey cooker things that was my grandmothers (read older than dirt) go up in smoke on year.
Not quite as bad but my mother bought a turkey so big it would not fit in the oven. Had to take out the racks and put the roster pan on two bricks to keep it off the element.
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Nesco roaster does a better job of cooking a whole turkey than in the oven. I haven't tried baking cakes and pies in it yet. (cakes should work; I'm doubtful about pies)
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Memorial Day weekend. I smoked a pig quarter.
Just as I started to cut it up my brother was sitting at the kitchen table.
Said he didn't feel so good then fell out of the chair and measured his length on the floor.
Deader than hell right there,massive heart attack.
Nah, not really, he had pneumonia and just passed out from mostly dehydration and the effects of the fever.
Still had a visit from the ambulance crew and he got to spend a week in the hospital, no smoked pork for him.
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It's Friday here now so I can post in this thread.
No need to go to the hospital or worse this holiday. That seems to be becoming rare but I didn't want to jinx it.
It's been a few years back but I had a guy down the road decide to burn off his field on Thanksgiving. ??? Caugt the old power pole on his place on fire and it dropped killing power to four houses on this side of it and I don't know how many behind.
I learned that I can roast a turkey on a propane grill and my wife agreed that getting the model with the sideburner was a good idea. I did the whole dinner for a houseful out on the deck.
Glad it was a nice day and that we had everything started early so I didn't serve it up too late.
I know a guy that might be able to get you a deal on that bake element and maybe the broil if you had to modify much fitting it to the bake. ;)
jim
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Experienced an excruciating abdominal attack a week ago, go in and find out I have either gallstones or another gallbladder related problem. Been on a no-fat/protein diet since.
You can all take your turkey and stuff it where the sun don't shine! :mad:
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KGB, why don't you have it removed? Barring complications, it's an easy surgery and you'll be able to eat whatever you want afterwards. I had mine removed 6 years ago and don't miss it at all.
Chris
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I deep fried a turkey for the GF and her parents...2nd year in a row doing the fry route (last year fitz and I did one) and I'm NEVER going back. Takes less time (15 min prep, 35 min for the oil to heat, 35 min to cook) and is the best juiciest turkey ever.
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Thanksgiving two years ago about 2 hours after I rolled into town (late at night, tired as hell) I put my Mom in the hospital. She got sick really suddenly.
Turns out it was severe dehydration because of her medications. I had been after her to drink a lot more than what she was, but she wouldn't listen to me, and she paid the price.
Now she maintains a good level of hydration at all times.
Heading out to Loews in a little bit to pick out Mom's Christmas gift, a new stove.
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KGB, why don't you have it removed? Barring complications, it's an easy surgery and you'll be able to eat whatever you want afterwards. I had mine removed 6 years ago and don't miss it at all.
Chris
Probably going to. This really did happen just a week ago, had the ultrasound of it done 2 days ago, waiting on the docs now. I really don't begrudge you all a merry turkey day, just felt like participating in the Drama Thread. ;)
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I deep fried a turkey for the GF and her parents...2nd year in a row doing the fry route (last year fitz and I did one) and I'm NEVER going back. Takes less time (15 min prep, 35 min for the oil to heat, 35 min to cook) and is the best juiciest turkey ever.
My thanksgiving was awesome this year. Deep fried two birds (had a 10 pounder since it was just us... then a Marine friend of ours let us know he and his wife/kids weren't doing thanksgiving this year. Oh hell no!)
So we bought another 12 lb bird, and did em both. Tony Chachere's injectible butter marinade and the same brand rub on the outside. Fried em both, had apple, pumpkin, and reeses pies... best of all: this Marine brews his own beer. He brought a great pale ale, an amazing amber, and even some Cream ale and an apple wine that the wife loved.
I slept like a baby!
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The wife and I had Thankgiving away from family. No drama at all this year. :cool:
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Probably going to. This really did happen just a week ago, had the ultrasound of it done 2 days ago, waiting on the docs now. I really don't begrudge you all a merry turkey day, just felt like participating in the Drama Thread. ;)
Ahh, gotcha. The diet comment sounded as if you were using diet to avoid the surgery
Chris
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New stove will be here Sunday.
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As usual I injected our bird and smoked it and now I have to smoke 2 more for other family members! That's what I get for doing such a good job!
PS: On that injecting the Turkey? My dad and his friends are the ones who came up with that YEARS ago. I still have his original syringe, a glass and stainless steel veterinary affair with the two big finger loops on the plunger!
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PPS: Notice that the breast is DOWN. That is the secret to keeping the breast meat juicy and from drying out!
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Honey baked ham for the win ;)
First year in VA we had a housefull at Easter. Day before Easter dinner.....fridge died! Had to go to Potomac Mills Sears outlet at 9pm to get a replacement....that was fun....
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It's 3:18 Sunday.
That stove had damned well better be here today or there is going to be living holy hell to pay.
Just finished priming 20 new deck boards for the porch (pleasant job) which will be installed on the side porch in December to replace decking that is in desperate shape.
Where the flying three-fingered *expletive deleted*ck is the stove I bought Mom?
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So did the stove arrive?
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I don't even want to talk about it I'm so pissed off right now.
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So did the stove arrive?
I don't even want to talk about it I'm so pissed off right now.
I would take this as either no or something was totally screwed up upon delivery.
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I don't even want to talk about it I'm so pissed off right now.
Translation: Oh hell no!
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This was my first time hosting Thanksgiving for the family. My parents have always done it, but their health has been declining and I have to say, in addition to being a lot of work, feeding that many people is expensive. :O
No drama, all went well. But we'll make up for it with more drama at a later date.
Mike, here's hoping you can straighten out whatever problem has arisen with your mom and her new stove or lack thereof.
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^^^ We had dinner for 18 people on Thanksgiving. We are only now finishing up the clean up and putting away of things for another year. I just shampooed the carpets in the living room and family room, since we set up tables there as well.
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Fa ra ra ra ra ra...ra ra ra ra.
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They brought a stove. Had to run to the store in State College, 30 miles away, to pick it up. Was it the right one? Hell no.
The warehouse monkey apparently picked the first stove he came to and never verified make or model.
The delivery guys, at the end of a long day, never bothered to verify the make and model, either.
How a GE coil top is the same as a Whirlpool solid surface is beyond me.
Short of it is, there's no stove in the kitchen right now. The initial sales person who set all this up called and apologized profusely. Not her problem, she was fantastic.
I'm supposed to hear from the store manager tomorrow morning about what they're going to do to make this right.
The delivery guys already spotted me a brand new cord for the hassle, a $25 piece of kit. I was just going to use the old one.
I'm supposed to head home tomorrow, but I want to be here to make sure that what Mom gets is what she's supposed to get.
I didn't spend nearly $600 for this *expletive deleted*.
If I wanted this kind of hassle, I would have bought the thing from Home Depot, not Lowes.
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Whirlpool solid surface is beyond me.
Is that a glass top range?
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So Mike, what you're saying is that you had Propane Turkey Flambe' for Thanksgiving?
Or Spam?
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"Is that a glass top range?"
Yes.
"So Mike, what you're saying is that you had Propane Turkey Flambe' for Thanksgiving?"
No, we had a roasted turkey done in the GE countertop roaster.
One of these:
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Except for not browning the top of the bird, it did a damned fine job.
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"Is that a glass top range?"
Yes.
Does your mom use cast iron?
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Except for not browning the top of the bird, it did a damned fine job.
Do you not own a propane torch?
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Dang Mike, you were 3 miles from my "new" central pa digs.
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Do you not own a propane torch?
Electric heat gun works better. BTDT.
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Fa ra ra ra ra ra...ra ra ra ra.
It's... it's... Smiling at me.
THWACK!
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"Does your mom use cast iron?"
Yes. And yes, you CAN use cast iron on a glass top range. You just can't slide it around like a big damned metal curling stone.
"Insert Quote
Dang Mike, you were 3 miles from my "new" central pa digs."
No I wasn't. The Lowe's guys went to State College. I never left Lewistown.
"Do you not own a propane torch?"
;/
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Well heck, come on up over the 7 mountains next time.
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Golden Corral FTW.... :P
Word. My parents flew in to visit me and I took them to Country Buffet. Easy AND delicious.
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Electric heat gun works better. BTDT.
Noob. Thermite is where it's at...
Thermite Thanksgiving (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU8iRYbnAb0)
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"Golden Corral"
Hum... Let's see...
Roast the turkey in a tabletop oven, or drive nearly 200 miles to eat dinner at an abysmal semi-failure of a chain restaurant in which snot-nosed brats swim in the chocolate fountain?
I'd rather stun a pigeon with a book and cook it up on a clothes iron.
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I'd rather stun a pigeon with a book and cook it up on a clothes iron.
That would be festive.....
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More drama.
Got home from dinner last night and the CO alarm was screaming.
Dogs out, cats out, Mom out, called 911.
Fire brigade comes, two different monitors, and they find... nothing. Not a trace of CO in the house anywhere from basement to attic.
Seems that the battery was going low, and instead of making the 'chirp' like it should, it decided to get all dramatic and *expletive deleted*it.
At least Mom's new stove is working great.
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Those CO detectors are only good for a few years. I think most of them say five-seven but most of them aren't that good. It's one of those things, if in doubt, go buy a new one.
My furnace went out today. At least I know someone that can fix that on a holiday. ;)
jim
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Those CO detectors are only good for a few years. I think most of them say five-seven but most of them aren't that good. It's one of those things, if in doubt, go buy a new one.
My furnace went out today. At least I know someone that can fix that on a holiday. ;)
jim
I've got one with a digital readout that's about 15 years old. It pretty much says 7 to 10 ppm all the time now, but I know it still works cuz it goes really fast when the wood stove goes out and start backdrafting, then drops again when I light some newspaper in the stove and/or open a window.