Thinking out loud for a moment...

[Terpsichore]

Seeing way too many examples of this lately:

When did it become acceptable for adults to be overly loud/rude/obnoxious in stores?  I'm seeing the teenage age group acting the same way and I can't help but think, "If I acted that way when I was younger, I would have gotten grounded."  I saw a kid who couldn't have been more than 14 tell a sales associate in a clothing store to "Shut the f**k up.  You don't know me, b****."  And one of my coworkers got reamed by a customer just for saying hello when they walked into my store.  I just have to wonder what goes through a person's head for them to think that acting this way makes them look cool or intelligent or whatever.  I am glad that this is only a small percentage of the human population, and hopefully they figure out how to play nice in the sandbox.

[dogmush]

One of the things I loved about working security at a bar for 10 years is that I was the only one that didn't have to make the customers happy.  I could interrupt their little entitlement tirade and tell them to "Get the *expletive deleted*ck Out".  And then have them arrested for trespass when they refused.  I've had bartenders and waitresses literally stand and applaud as I walked customers out in an arm bar.

[Terpsichore]

I wish I was allowed to do that.  We can politely ask someone to leave, but that's about it.

[TechMan]

Comes from a lack of respect for self and others.  It also comes from everybody gets a trophy, even if you loose.  Reminds me of one of the comedians on the Bob & Tom show "It's all about me."

[wmenorr67]

One of the things I loved about working security at a bar for 10 years is that I was the only one that didn't have to make the customers happy.  I could interrupt their little entitlement tirade and tell them to "Get the *expletive deleted* Out".  And then have them arrested for trespass when they refused.  I've had bartenders and waitresses literally stand and applaud as I walked customers out in an arm bar.

BTDT  Also when I worked concert/event security up in Kansas City.  Some of the scuffles I got in and got to be paid for it.

Also working in a county jail as a corrections officer was fun at times also.  You see all kinds of stupid there.

[BlueStarLizzard]

I keep running into the oppisit.

I go into stores and the cashiers/workers are doing stuff I would get fired for. At the conveiniance store the other day, the cashier was talking on the phone from the moment I pulled in till after I left. Including while she was ringing me up.

[Terpsichore]

I've seen that to in places I go haunt.  Then when I ask for help or check out, they look at me like I am a bother.  *sigh*  It stinks for those of us that actually give a smoof about our job and actually try.

[vaskidmark]

While we are all memoaning the decline of civilization in the service industry and personal behavior, allow me to ask a rather impertinent question.

When was the last time that you pulled someone up short for their rude/crude behavior?  You know, like pointing out to the entitlement queen that the "No Parking Fire Lane" outside the Chinese take-out place was not there for her convenience in parking?  Or the clerk who keeps interrupting their feeble attempt to ring up your purchases and take the cash money you are all but forcing into their hand so they can answer the phone with "<name of place>, can you hold, please?" until every possible line is on hold and you still have not paid for your purchase?  Or the idjit who insists on driving througfh the neighborhood at 12:30 AM with that "thump-a-thump" sound rattling every window and filling?

Yeah, I've heard all the warnings about how I could get shot if I tried to do that.  Strange, but of all the health problems I have been having over the past few years, sudden leakage of bodily fluids has not been a symptom I've enountered.

But I have seen the entitlement queen get up and mover her car from the curb to the marked parking space.  And gotten the cashier to stop playing with the phone long enough to take my money.  And gotten the idjit to go drive to somewhere else and annoy some other neighborhood.  And worst of all, see other folks start doing essentially the same thing.

stay safe.

[BlueStarLizzard]

I've seen that to in places I go haunt.  Then when I ask for help or check out, they look at me like I am a bother.  *sigh*  It stinks for those of us that actually give a smoof about our job and actually try.

I agree.

I was raised by a guy who habitially says "sir" and "ma'am", holds the door for others and practices general politeness towards strangers, and I do the same.
At work, the customer in the building is given my full attention and the one on the phone gets to wait, but only after a polite "please hold". And greeting and a cheerful fairwell are mandatory.

Its not even hard or all consuming. Its just having nice manners and its easy enough.

[BlueStarLizzard]

Skid, while I do mostly agree with you, there is a limit to what I, as an employee, can get away with, when dealing with a rude and obnoxious customer.

And fyi, I am infamous for telling people to shut up in movie theaters.

[Perd Hapley]

Shut up, Terpsichore. You don't even know me. 

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

One of the things I loved about working security at a bar for 10 years is that I was the only one that didn't have to make the customers happy.  I could interrupt their little entitlement tirade and tell them to "Get the *expletive deleted* Out".  And then have them arrested for trespass when they refused.  I've had bartenders and waitresses literally stand and applaud as I walked customers out in an arm bar.

as a young man i owned part of a restaurant, i was baby faced the teens working for me looked older than me. i really enjoyed telling problem customers to go away.  the look of shock was priceless. having them ask for the manager and finding out i was it was better and telling them i owned it and they and their money were un welcome was sweet.   it was surprising the types of folk who would f up. i had a secret service agent pleading with me once not to have him arrested

[RaspberrySurprise]

I think part of the problem is that if you confront some wayward youth in his quest for betterment and he then takes offense and you end up having to defend yourself a number of locales will look at it as if YOU had started the fight and charge you accordingly.

[roo_ster]

While we are all memoaning the decline of civilization in the service industry and personal behavior, allow me to ask a rather impertinent question.

When was the last time that you pulled someone up short for their rude/crude behavior?

I regularly roust the ne'er-do-wells who rent our church/school's gym who park in the fire lane(1).  I am on the board of trustees and have suggested we call the police to ticket & tow them, but I keep getting voted down by the weak sisters more magnanimous members on the BoT.




(1) They rent the gym to play basketball, but can not walk an additional 20' from a parking space.

[MechAg94]

I think part of the problem is that if you confront some wayward youth in his quest for betterment and he then takes offense and you end up having to defend yourself a number of locales will look at it as if YOU had started the fight and charge you accordingly.

That made me think of the kid behind the counter who got attacked by the two women. 

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

my wife has requested that i "behave" till the kids are raised.  that mean no more asking the white kids from spotsylvania virginia who pretend to be from compton and aspire to be rappers "boy?!  you have some kinda racial identity crisis?!

[P5 Guy]

Ah, the difference between "Self Esteem" and "Self Respect".
 

[Scout26]

Shut up, Terpsichore. You don't even know me.  

Terpsichore,

For the record, there is a long line of folks ahead of you with dibs on eviscerating Fistful.

[HankB]

. . . I saw a kid who couldn't have been more than 14 tell a sales associate in a clothing store to "Shut the f**k up.  You don't know me, b****."  . . .

I was about that age when I berated a dime store clerk for gossiping about her date the previous night while a line was forming at the counter. I was a very young 17  when I had to bring our car in for some warranty work - when the service manager tried to jerk me around and had the chutzpah to take me to task for complaining, I read him the riot act (without resorting to profanity, by the way) and informed him in no uncertain terms what was expected of him. Got a round of applause - literal applause - from other irate customers in the waiting room when I finished. So just because someone is young doesn't mean they're not entitled to verbally chastise a service employee who's not doing their job - but they CAN do it without cursing, and like anyone else, there ought to be a legitimate reason for it beyond "Look what I can get away with!"

(9 out of 10 times, just a little common courtesy is sufficient to get the results you want - escalation ought to be moderated, you don't START by dropping the F-bomb.)

[vaskidmark]

I think part of the problem is that if you confront some wayward youth in his quest for betterment and he then takes offense and you end up having to defend yourself a number of locales will look at it as if YOU had started the fight and charge you accordingly.

1) For some reason difficult to explain [/sarcasm] I have been carrying a digital voice recorder around every time I am out of the house.  Here in Virginia it's legal to record as long as one party (me) consents.  We can discuss the difference between initiation, excalation and polite commentary about appropriate social behavior in front of the judge without relying on he said/she said squabbling.

2) I am only advocating for the single comment, not a prolonged debate.  If the object of my attention wants to go off into a tirade then I will either refuse to comment or respond with a very restrained "Thank you" (and no other commentary) with an attempt to either ignore or disengage without additional verbal exchange.  (See #1 also)

3) If physical violence is offered in response to my comment I will first of all clearly indicate my desire not to become involved and my attempt to withdraw/retreat.  (See #1)  I will also defend myself if it becomes necessary.


stay safe.

[Terpsichore]

So just because someone is young doesn't mean they're not entitled to verbally chastise a service employee who's not doing their job - but they CAN do it without cursing, and like anyone else, there ought to be a legitimate reason for it beyond "Look what I can get away with!"

(9 out of 10 times, just a little common courtesy is sufficient to get the results you want - escalation ought to be moderated, you don't START by dropping the F-bomb.)
[/quo

I agree with that.  If someone is not doing their job, we as a consumer should feel we can say something to them.  A little common courtesy does go a long way and someone shouldn't have to resort to profanity to get what they want.  And the instance I had mentioned was not meant to include all young people at all.  The kids were making a mess in the store and were politely asked to leave by a store clerk.  There are some very polite youth out there and its nice to see when they play nice in the sandbox. 

[Perd Hapley]

my wife has requested that i "behave" till the kids are raised.  that mean no more asking the white kids from spotsylvania virginia who pretend to be from compton and aspire to be rappers "boy?!  you have some kinda racial identity crisis?!

And you're OK with black kids pretending to be "street" and aspiring to be rappers?

[Jim147]

Common courtesy does go a long way, with the right person.

But the common person still believes the old saying that the customer is always right. And many companies believe this crap too. That is why I have my own company. I can tell that customer to piss off. I never understood the thought that people cussing out the person that could help them would get them helped faster or a better deal.  Why do most large retail companies let people get away with this crap?

I'm OK with fistful pretending to be "street" and aspiring to be a rapper.

jim

[Monkeyleg]

I noticed a change in etiquette sometime in the 1970's. Swearing--particularly the use of the "f" word--became more common, even in public places.

I'm usually non-confrontational, but I have my moments. I hate it when there's a long checkout line, another cashier opens a new register, and the last people in line rush to be first. I've told people that there were others before them. Reactions varied.

At a large concert (Stones, Springsteen, can't remember), two large idiots were standing on their seats in front of my friend and me, blocking our view. I grabbed them both by the shoulders and pushed them down in their seats. I probably shouldn't have done that, but oh well.

There are so many jerks in society that it could be a full time job setting them straight.

A day or so ago, some jerk on the interstate in Milwaukee cut off another driver and gave him the finger. The other driver was Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke, who pulled over said jerk. It's nice when that happens. :)

[Perd Hapley]

I'm OK with fistful pretending to be "street" and aspiring to be a rapper.

Yo, why it gots to be like all dat?