Author Topic: Urinal Etiquette (Read 5162 times)

Ben · « **on:** August 02, 2012, 11:01:03 AM »

The rules of urinal etiquette. One thing he didn't specify: when using multiple urinals (more than three, like in the airport where there's a bajillion) always scan the urinal row and compute the most distance between you and any two other guys and use that urinal. Nothing raises my hackles more than standing in front of a urinal with five empty ones to either side of me and having a guy come in and use the one next to me. I generally assume they are European.

http://jackodile.com/2010/01/21/the-rules-of-urinal-etiquette/

AJ Dual · « **Reply #1 on:** August 02, 2012, 11:22:56 AM »

Pee on their shoe.

That usually works.

HankB · « **Reply #2 on:** August 02, 2012, 11:30:21 AM »

Quote from: Ben on August 02, 2012, 11:01:03 AM

. . . I generally assume they are European. . .

Or from San Francisco . . . and they think you're cute.

TommyGunn · « **Reply #3 on:** August 02, 2012, 11:36:23 AM »

I didn't even know urinals had etiquette and I'm not european......

Ben · « **Reply #4 on:** August 02, 2012, 11:49:30 AM »

Quote from: TommyGunn on August 02, 2012, 11:36:23 AM

I didn't even know urinals had etiquette and I'm not european......

Oh, so it was you at the SFO Terminal 5 mens room.

Harold Tuttle · « **Reply #5 on:** August 02, 2012, 11:56:43 AM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

Boomhauer · « **Reply #6 on:** August 02, 2012, 12:22:01 PM »

Quote from: TommyGunn on August 02, 2012, 11:36:23 AM

I didn't even know urinals had etiquette and I'm not european......

Not pissing on the goddamn floor, walls, ceiling etc is also a part of urinal etiquette...

Ben · « **Reply #7 on:** August 02, 2012, 12:34:14 PM »

Quote from: Harold Tuttle on August 02, 2012, 11:56:43 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

Ha ha! That's great Harold!

"The Lu has reached critical mass."

K Frame · « **Reply #8 on:** August 02, 2012, 12:47:21 PM »

Perhaps the biggest etiquette blunder is eating the urinal cake.

roo_ster · « **Reply #9 on:** August 02, 2012, 01:29:09 PM »

How's about public porcelain throne etiquette?

Yes, the call can wait until you are finished and have washed your hands with soap.

Last time at Microcenter, I got to hear all about some dude and his old lady, as he spoke to her on his cell phone whilst grunting out a loaf. On speakerphone. I held up my end to aid in the acoustics during the call. I wish I had eaten half a box of raisin bran with some lima bean chasers that morning.

Hawkmoon · « **Reply #10 on:** August 02, 2012, 06:26:23 PM »

Quote from: Ben on August 02, 2012, 12:34:14 PM

Ha ha! That's great Harold!

"The Lu has reached critical mass."

That's "loo," Ben. Borrowed from the Brits.

Jamie B · « **Reply #11 on:** August 02, 2012, 07:17:00 PM »

Quote from: Ben on August 02, 2012, 12:34:14 PM

Ha ha! That's great Harold!

"The Lu has reached critical mass."

Second!

And I passed the urinal selection portion perfectly.

TommyGunn · « **Reply #12 on:** August 02, 2012, 07:32:46 PM »

Quote from: Ben on August 02, 2012, 11:49:30 AM

Oh, so it was you at the SFO Terminal 5 mens room.

No I think that must have been fistful....

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #13 on:** August 02, 2012, 10:01:08 PM »

On rule #6. No. Complements mean you're cruising. Also, they violate rule #5.

280plus · « **Reply #14 on:** August 02, 2012, 10:10:19 PM »

Quote from: HankB on August 02, 2012, 11:30:21 AM

Or from San Francisco . . . and they think you're cute.

Been there, done that, don't recommend it.

280plus · « **Reply #15 on:** August 02, 2012, 10:14:58 PM »

Anyhooo, so this hippie and this businessman are side by side at the urinals and the business guy tirns to the hippie and says, "I don't understand it. I'm successful, wearing a $1200 suit, $800 shoes and I'm a well respected in this community. You on the other hand are a long haired haven't showered in days druggie. WHY does your piss sound louder than mine?" The hippie says, "Oh, that's because I'm pissing on your briefcase, man."

brimic · « **Reply #16 on:** August 02, 2012, 10:29:42 PM »

If there is no other male in my group using the restroom, I always take the center urinal if there are three and take up as much space as possible. If there are other males from my group, I use good urinal manners.
A person is most vulnerable for attack when they are doing their business at the urinal, displaying a dominant positioning makes you look a lot less like a target.

Just another glimpse into my mind...

Azrael256 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 03, 2012, 12:13:42 AM »

Quote

Yes, the call can wait until you are finished and have washed your hands with soap.

It is considered proper etiquette for a gentleman, and he should feel free, to cut the eff loose when he encounters another talking on a cellphone in a lavatory.

Ned Hamford · « **Reply #18 on:** August 03, 2012, 12:17:10 AM »

And its always inappropriate to compliment someone's watch at that particular location.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #19 on:** August 03, 2012, 12:24:31 AM »

Quote from: Harold Tuttle on August 02, 2012, 11:56:43 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

Flushing is always mandatory! I don't care if the water in the urinal is crystal clear after you use it! Flush!

I'm going to assume they're just exaggerating with the bit about never, ever using a urinal next to an occupied urinal.

French G. · « **Reply #20 on:** August 03, 2012, 03:37:44 AM »

Quote from: brimic on August 02, 2012, 10:29:42 PM

If there is no other male in my group using the restroom, I always take the center urinal if there are three and take up as much space as possible. If there are other males from my group, I use good urinal manners.
A person is most vulnerable for attack when they are doing their business at the urinal, displaying a dominant positioning makes you look a lot less like a target.

Just another glimpse into my mind...

I will take the furthermost one from the entrance, gives me more observation time and if they come all the way down it kinda answers questions as to their intent.

zxcvbob · « **Reply #21 on:** August 03, 2012, 02:49:47 PM »

Jamisjockey · « **Reply #22 on:** August 03, 2012, 03:20:58 PM »

I do what I want, besides missing the target. If I slide up next to you at the urinal, it's to intentionally make you uncomfortable.

KD5NRH · « **Reply #23 on:** August 03, 2012, 04:16:36 PM »

Quote from: roo_ster on August 02, 2012, 01:29:09 PM

Last time at Microcenter, I got to hear all about some dude and his old lady, as he spoke to her on his cell phone whilst grunting out a loaf. On speakerphone. I held up my end to aid in the acoustics during the call. I wish I had eaten half a box of raisin bran with some lima bean chasers that morning.

Movie quotes time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJKY59NX8o

Jamie B · « **Reply #24 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:32:10 PM »

Quote from: Jamisjockey on August 03, 2012, 03:20:58 PM

I do what I want, besides missing the target. If I slide up next to you at the urinal, it's to intentionally make you uncomfortable.

Your 'sliding up to me' would make me uncomfortable anywhere!

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Author Topic: Urinal Etiquette (Read 5162 times)