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I just opened a letter from them to find out that, based on my current credit history, I'm pre-approved for a vehicle loan of up to $86,000!
I wonder whose credit rating they pulled! Couldn't have been mine...
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Damn, go for the Maserati!
Reminds me I saw a Ferrari 308 at the next pump the other day. Sad part was the driver looked to be about 90 yo!
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Check out the new BMW M5 sport coupe, Mike. It's only around $80,000 or so. You can use the extra $6000 for custom wheels.
Of course, when you make the monthly payments, your blood pressure won't be 120 over 60.
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The chances of me buying a BMW are pretty slim. I'm generally not a fan. Stodgy styling.
The chances of me EVER buying an $80,000+ car are virtually non-existent.
I mean hell, that's more than what I make in a frigging year!
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It probably wouldn't be so bad as long as you don't mind living in it.
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or buy a "car" you CAN live in one of many...
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Check out the new BMW M5 sport coupe, Mike. It's only around $80,000 or so. You can use the extra $6000 for custom wheels.
Of course, when you make the monthly payments, your blood pressure won't be 120 over 60.
That would be the M6 and it should retail for around $99,000 before tax. Pretty salty!
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Daniel, there's an M5 as well. My brother bought one. He was going to buy the M6, but decided that the M5 was fast enough.
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Daniel, there's an M5 as well. My brother bought one. He was going to buy the M6, but decided that the M5 was fast enough.
I think he was referring to the coupe part. The M6 is the coupe and the M5 is the sedan.
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I've spent years in a (mostly) successful attempt to stay debt-free. I do use some select debt as a tool, but I otherwise try to keep my finances as straightforward as possible with plenty of diversified investements and a resonable amount of on-hand cash and fast-access reserves. As a result, the few credit cards I have are at least platinum with one getting into more rarified territory. It's nice to know that I won't have to worry if some major emergency comes up, but it's a little unsettling knowing just how much trouble I could get myself into if I didn't exercise some nominal level of self-control.
Glad to hear that you are in good enough shape that you have the luxury of using someone else's money, should the need arise.
Brad
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Dannyboy, thanks for the clarification. For a minute there, I thought my brother was a cheapskate.
He's 69, is making three to four times day-trading what he made as a plastics mold-design engineer, and has probably two years to live.
I think he's earned the privilege to buy this car. Even if it is the el-cheapo model.
Mike, I get these mail offers all the time: You're qualified for a $400,000 loan on your home! (Nevermind that my home is only worth about $150K).
Just on a lark, I invited one of these telemarketers to have one of their real mortgage brokers contact me.
It was no surprise when the broker went through all of the details of my finances over the phone, and told me that I already had the best deal possible.
But that didn't stop the company's telemarketers from calling.
I've come up with some absolute turn-off lines for telemarketers. If anybody wants some, just let me know.
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"Mike, I get these mail offers all the time: You're qualified for a $400,000 loan on your home! (Nevermind that my home is only worth about $150K)."
Slight difference...
This is from one of my credit unions, not from some fly by night BS lending house that looks at defaults as the cost of doing business.
Credit unions are rarely as predatory as other lending institutions, especially not when they're federally chartered as this one is, and they tend to do everything possible to negate defaults by being very picky with the offers that they do send out.
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I've come up with some absolute turn-off lines for telemarketers. If anybody wants some, just let me know.
I'm game.
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Best i've heard to date:
"BIL" got a call telling him he was pre- approved for a cc with a $50000 limit.
he tells the telepimp oh my thats great how much of that can i get in cash?
telepimp: $25000.
"BIL": that wonderful i just lost my job today and this is just going to make everything sooo much easier!
telepimp: can you hold for just a second?
telepimp's supervisor: sir did you say you just lost your job?
"BIL": yes, that is what i told your solisitor when can i expect my card?
telepimp's supervisor: sir if you are no longer employeed i'm afraid well have to recind the offer.
"BIL": well i didn't really lose my job but i'm not intrested in your card and i figured i'd waste as much of your time as you have wasted of mine, bye!
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One-Shot-One, I've used a variation on that one as well.
Sometimes, if I know it's a telemarketer, I'll talk like an old man.
"Ooohhh, it's so good to hear a voice. My kids never call me anymore. Even my oldest son. You know what? I think it's his wife. She..."
"Sir, we're have a special today..."
"Special? Talk about specialists. I had one do a colinoscopy. You know what he found?"
After a minute or so of this, they hang up.
Another fun one, if I have the time, is to sound like some sort of generic Arab type.
"Hello, Mr. Baker?"
"Is Abhib."
"Excuse me?"
"Is Abhib. Becher Meat Market. We have special today on bif. $2.99 a pound. How much you want?"
"No, sir, you don't understand. I was calling about..."
"We can even sell you whole side of cow. $59.99."
"Mr. Baker, er, Abhib, I was calling about..."
"Ok, I throw in delivery. Soon as brother gets back with car. We have lamb, too. You want lamb?"
Eventually they all give up.
One that didn't go as expected was as follows:
"Mr. Baker?"
"Yes."
"Congratulations!"
"On what?"
"You've just won free dance lessons at Arthur Murray dance studios!"
"This is a joke, right?"
"Oh, no sir. You've won a free lesson..."
"Bill put you up to this, right?"
"Mr. Baker, this is no joke."
"Well, then John put you up to this. Whoever it is, it's a sick joke."
"Why?"
"Because I lost my leg in a motorcycle accident ten years ago."
There was a few moments pause, and she came back. "Well, sir, is there anyone else in your family that would like free dance lessons?"
Have to admire her tenacity.
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"There was a few moments pause, and she came back. "Well, sir, is there anyone else in your family that would like free dance lessons?"
That's when you follow up with this...
"THEY WERE KILLED IN THE CRASH, YOU BITCH! I'M ALL ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And then just break into hysterical sobbing, which will hopefully prompt the individual to hang up before the "sobbing" turns into hysterical laughter.
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Sometimes, if I know it's a telemarketer, I'll talk like an old man.
I thought you were an old man.
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You guys ever hear of Jim Florentine? He's a comedian and he's done a couple CD's of telemarketer torture. Holy sheepshaggers, is it funny.
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Mike, after listening to that particular female telemarketer, I suspect she would have replied to your comment, "did I also mention that I also represent Krause Funeral Homes? We can have your loved ones moved to a beautiful location, and also arrange for free dance lessons. If you like, we can even arrange for those dance lessons to take place on the graves of your dearly departed."
Fistful, while I may be old, I'm not that old. Yet.
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A couple of years ago, just after I got to know him, I called MTNBKR on his cell phone (he and his wife primarily use cell phones). This was around the time of the do not call list, and we had been talking about it quite extensively, including what impact it would have on cell phone users.
Well, I called up and offered to sell him aluminum siding for his cemetary plot. I can't remember exactly, but somehow it tied in directly to our discussion about telemarketers.
Chris didn't recognize my voice, and in a heart beat he went from Hello to SUPER pissed.
It took me a few seconds to burn through his rant with "Chris, this is Mike, it's Mike, it's Mike!"
He laughed, but it was one of those "If you were here I'd skin you alive with a soup spoon" kind of laughs...
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I remember that.
Two mistakes: Telemarketer on my cellphone and calling me right after I get home.
The last time *I* spoke to a telemarketer, he wanted to sell me long distance service. I told him I didn't have a phone. When he asked how we were speaking, I told him I was using a tin can and some string. He really wanted to sell me that service. I got bored and hung up on him.
Since going to a nearly 100% cellphone model, I haven't had many telemarketers. We turned the ringer off on the one housephone we have and let the answering machine filter calls. We make outgoing calls and receive calls from friends, family, and trusted businesses on the cellphones.
Chris
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"We make outgoing calls and receive calls from friends, family, and trusted businesses on the cellphones."
I'm not sure how I fit into that list, but somehow I got your cellphone numbers...
Now, about that siding...
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The last time *I* spoke to a telemarketer, he wanted to sell me long distance service. I told him I didn't have a phone. When he asked how we were speaking, I told him I was using a tin can and some string.
OMG, that one's a keeper!
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Oh, boy... a vacation at your resort! I can't get out of here very often...
Do you have hot tubs at your resort? You do?
I like hot tubs...
Are they handicapped and wheelchair accessible? I also have problems getting through doors...
Will you join me in the hot tub? I think you sound cute.
---Will work with just about any sex/gender/whatever.