Weirdos at the gym

[Monkeyleg]

I'm now hitting the gym every day in a futile attempt to fight time.

As is the case with the three gyms I've belonged to so far, there are precious few attractive women. I don't know where they go, but they don't go where I go. Just big women trying to get smaller.

As for the guys, it's a split between those in terrible shape and those who look like they spend eight hours a day there.

Most of the guys act civilized, but there's always a few whose behavior is either obnoxious or nauseating.

Of the nauseators, Fred Flintstone takes the cake. He's a real Cro Magnon type, complete with sloped forehead and slacked jaw. No matter what exercise he's doing, he grunts and groans loudly, sounding like he's trying to pass a brick. He can be heard fifty feet away. It really roils the stomach.

There's plenty of obnoxious guys, but one stands above the rest. He has to let everyone know that he's lifting a lot of weight, and does so by dropping the weights when he's finished a set. If he's doing shrugs, he lets the barbell drop onto the steel rest. If he benching, he just lets the barbells drop to the floor. The place sounds like a foundry when he's around.

The third guy is Mr. Sweat. He could be used to irrigate crops. He leaves puddles wherever he goes. Worse, though, is his sweat towel. I'm sure it's soaking wet all the time, which is why it's so disgusting that he uses it to wipe down the equipment when he's done. There's sanitary wipes in dispensers on the wall but, no, he just uses his towel. I wonder if he dries his dishes with the same cloth he used an hour prior to clean the toilet?

People are always weird, but gyms seem to attract the truly bizarre.

Why is that?

[Boomhauer]

People are always weird, but gyms seem to attract the truly bizarre.

Why is that?

I don't know, I just call it the general public wierdness factor. I get to deal with a lot of different people on a daily basis. Most of the people I have to deal with...I would not invite them to my home. And I'm not a cop or anything like that, it's just a normal cross section of society...most of them are simply bugshit crazy. These people have no problem with throwing their trash everywhere, leaving restrooms in horrible condition, expecting everybody around them to accomodate their preferences for whatever...absolutely no consideration at all.

[PTK]

Whoa. Basically all three of those type of people aren't welcome at gyms around here - can't be leaving sweat puddles anywhere or you'll get kicked out. Dropping weights is an instant ban, and grunting/groaning loudly will get you warned and then kicked out.

Find a new gym?

[Monkeyleg]

Find a new gym?

Effective April 5th. I was promised at the new gym that wiping down the equipment--with the supplied sanitary wipes--is mandatory, and not doing so results in suspension, then expulsion. We'll see how that goes.

[Perd Hapley]

People are always weird, but gyms seem to attract the truly bizarre.

I hate gyms, so I must be weird, but not truly bizarre.

[French G.]

I always knew the workout schedules of the hawt wimmins I was on speaking terms with. 

[CNYCacher]

Any of them wearing leather vests and boots?

[Pharmacology]

You would develop an ulcer if you used the gym at the university where my college of pharmacy is located.
Nothing but fat losers from the surrounding 3a high schools. They only bench press and do curls with awful form.

Needless to say, they're constantly rapping to themselves, and committing all three of the aforementioned gym crimes simultaneously.

[Phantom Warrior]

All part of the reason I hate gyms.  Since I'm basically fairly fit I can get by with doing pushups in my office, situps in my CHU, and running outside.

[280plus]

"I lift things up and I put them down."

[MechAg94]

Effective April 5th. I was promised at the new gym that wiping down the equipment--with the supplied sanitary wipes--is mandatory, and not doing so results in suspension, then expulsion. We'll see how that goes.

I haven't belonged to a gym in a while.  I hadn't realized they went to sanitary wipes. 
I belonged to 24 hours fitness a few years back.  Most of the women were there between 5 and 7 PM as far as I saw.  Of course, that was also when the machines were busy and you would sit there waiting.  There were also the "stripper" types who showed up when no other women were there so they could be the center of attention.

[280plus]

I find the best policy is to ignore the wimmins. They hate that. 

[HankB]

Once belonged to a gym where the treadmills & step machines happened to face the glassed-in aerobics area . . . there was enough eye candy to make the front row of machines very popular with guys during certain aerobics classes. 

We have a gym at work now - the only real problem is getting there before some of the wimmens do - they tend to set the TVs to  cr@pola like The View or some home decorating show, whereas guys either tune to Fox News or The Military Channel.  (Etiquette is that whoever's there first chooses the show.)

[Ben]

Don't make me revive my thread about the "I wear a T-shirt and nothing else" old guys in my gym locker room. Or this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRppqaanECA&feature=related

[Monkeyleg]

Any of them wearing leather vests and boots?

No, just me, which, probably to most people's way of thinking, makes me the weirdest person at the gym. I'm the only one on a treadmill wearing a vest and dress shirt.

Then again, I'm probably the only one in the gym carrying a gun while working out.

[Balog]

[280plus]

All too true... 

[PTK]

My brain. Why. 

[gunsmith]

I was gonna join a gym back when I lived in Reno and had money, I walked in & heard loud crappy rap music and walked out.
Had a membership at 24 hour 15 yrs ago, I went to the mens room and ugh it stunk so bad I never went back.

Now I work at a ranch and don't need a gym as much as I used to, but I should do some push-ups and some crunches

[Monkeyleg]

I wasn't able to go tonight because of work. I'll bet anything that there's nice-looking women there tonight.

As for the old men, I dunno about the hangey-down stuff, but I've been pretty put off to walk into the locker room and see some big old guy naked. The only upside is that it limits my calorie intake by ruining my appetite.

[Ben]

Yup, that's my gym alright.

[BlueStarLizzard]

The place next to were I work was a gym for awhile.

I would be outside walking dogs while people ran on the treadmills and watched the tvs.

It was mostly an old fart gym and physical therepy place.

The most annoying thing was the music when they had exercise class. It was so loud that it would freak out some dogs. Which ment that I go some exercise.

now the only folks doing weird crap in the parking lot are the kung fu people.

Two of 'em used to have this thing where they would do a routin, run around the complex, do a pole routin, run, and then a sword routin and run. the thing was, they were not in particularly good shape and the girl had the worst balance i've ever scean. I could have done the sword thing with better form with boots and jeans on, just by mimiking them.

A couple dogs freaked. A couple dogs wanted to encorage them to run faster. 

I think my boss told them to knock it off when we have dogs out, cause they haven't been out since last year.

[BridgeRunner]

It's a numbers thing.  Fat old ladies (or y'know, any old ladies) tend to a) have more time to hang out at the gym b) tend to go to the gym whereas the young fit types might be out running or cycling (or getting drunk).  Also, when I (ftr, reasonably hawt, but a decade late for young and nubile) go to the gym, I go, I work out, I leave.  I have stuff to DO.  The average older, much heavier woman just takes longer.  They move slower.  I'll shower, dress, and leave in the time a couple blue-hairs finish with the blow-dryer and get around to wrestling themselves into a bra. 

Of course, the gym I go to these days is one sex at a time.  Women get M, W, F, Sat., men get T, Th, Sun.  (the location across town is the opposite).  And it's less than a mile from MSU.  There are hot chicks.  A lot of them, because they're college kids and it's cheap and it's not a meat market (mostly).  But they're mostly 17-18 or so, and kind of annoying.  Nice view, though. And it's mine, all mine!  None of you guys get any of it!  <insert maniacal laughter here>

Sweaty dude has my sympathy though.  I'm a very heavy sweater and I tell ya there is no way in heck that a swipe with a sanitary wipe is gonna cut it.  Meh, I just do weights before cardio;  makes the run more challenging and lets me avoid dripping all over the equipment.  But the whole business of wiping everything down every three seconds irritates me.  I admit to just skipping it most of the time, and I notice that most people who aren't middle-aged or better do at my gym.  I'll wipe up sweat, but cleaning up every surface my clean, dry shirt/shorts touch is an irritating waste of time.  And treadmills, what's up with that?  Unless I'm going over eight miles or so or it's really hot, even I don't get the treadmill console all sweaty, and I'm the sweatiest person I know.  Aside from pushing a couple buttons, one doesn't generally touch a treadmill.  So, why the obsession with wiping it down with antibacterial goop after going for a twenty minute stroll on it?  Seriously, what is the freaking point? 

And I miss Grunting Dude from the Y.  He was WAY WAY better than "I must do 800,000,000,000 bicep curls with three pound weights while I stand directly in front of the rack containing every single freaking dumbbell in the place" lady I have to contend with now.  I really love it when they pair up, kaiboshing any and all attempts to get at the rack from any angle at all. 

And when the gym is pretty quiet, and someone is standing next to a bench doing some stretching, and next to the bench are six dumbbells of varying sizes, a bottle of water, and an iphone, it is pretty implausible for you to claim you had no idea someone was using that stuff.  I'm not trying to hog all the equipment, but the place was dead; I think she just figured it was handy to not have to get her own weights from the rack. 

Well, dang, this has turned into quite the gym rant here.  Wish I was there now though....no time lately, and less child-free time.  It's a bummer.

[roo_ster]

ML:

Admittedly, when folks push themselves physically, the usual inhibitions on letting their freak flag fly are weakened.  The results can be a bit unsettling.

But...

You don't want to go to a "gym," you want to go to a "health club," where folk really aren't going to work all that hard at it and be so gauche as to sweat heavily, make noise, and push themselves to their limit when moving heavy weight.  And there is nothing wrong with your desire; most folks want just that.  I expect either the Groton Trio have made a mistake and wandered into a health club where the proprieties are expected to be observed or you made a mistake and wandered into a gym where some real iron gets moved.

I've spent a good amount of time in both and much prefer an old-school gym, where rosin & chalk are not looked at like an invading plague and I can find a guy who knows how to properly spot for a bench or squat.

[Monkeyleg]

I expect either the Groton Trio have made a mistake and wandered into a health club where the proprieties are expected to be observed or you made a mistake and wandered into a gym where some real iron gets moved.

I believe it's the former. Otherwise there wouldn't be as many pear-shaped people there.

At the last gym I belonged to, there were a lot of serious weight lifters (some competitive types, too), but there weren't the strained groans of hard turds being pushed.