Your "preferences" aside, if the state grants "marriage" licenses to homosexual couples, will the force of the state be used against companies that refuse to provide "marital benefits" to homosexuals that have a government license (or other companies that similarly refuse to service homosexual unions)? Yes or no?
It
might. In a European welfare state you would be completely right, but America is not a European welfare state.
Also, a ban on discrimination of homosexuals by, say, restaurants is not the same (although also wrong) as an attempt to force churches to marry gay people.
This is in the same way in which there exist various (immoral and unconstitutional) limits on discrimination by private people, but they do not regularly apply to churches.
But, again, what you state will happen is not necessarily a foregone conclusion, just like gun registration does not
always lead to confiscation. Just as gun registration
may lead to confiscation, or it may be repealed altogether (like in Canada).