Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Stetson on December 13, 2007, 06:45:23 AM

Title: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: Stetson on December 13, 2007, 06:45:23 AM
How to Wrap a Christmas Present....with the aide of a ferret...

Place gift, tape, ribbon, scissors, and wrapping paper on floor.
Chase ferret after she has stolen the tape.
Retrieve the tape from behind the bedroom dresser.
Chase ferret as she drags scissors across the room.
Place gift, tape, ribbon and scissors back on the floor.
Remove ferret from gift box, pick up wrapping paper.
Remove ferret from gift box
Remove ferret from gift box
Close gift box and seal with tape while balancing ferret on your back
Remove ferret from the middle of the gift wrap and reroll it.
Remove ferret from the middle of the gift wrap and reroll it.
Place wrapping paper under package and attempt to close paper around it.
Remove ferret from between the package and the wrapping paper.
Seal ends of wrapping paper around package.
Find the end of the ribbon and follow it under the bed and behind the chest
of drawers.
Unwind ribbon from around ferret
Place ferret outside bedroom door and quickly slam door.
Finish wrapping gift, praying giftee is not allergic to small mammals.
Place gift under tree only to discover that all the gift bags have been
raided of their contents...play scavenger hunt for the rest of the day.
Title: Re: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: Fly320s on December 13, 2007, 07:11:32 AM
Maybe you should give a ferret as a gift this year?  grin
Title: Re: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: seeker_two on December 13, 2007, 07:43:23 AM
I see the problem.....in Step 7, you remove the ferret from the box. Don't do that. Just keep wrapping... Wink
Title: Re: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: Firethorn on December 13, 2007, 10:37:49 AM
I see the problem.....in Step 7, you remove the ferret from the box. Don't do that. Just keep wrapping... Wink

Would your standard gift box even slow down a ferret who wants out?
Title: Re: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: seeker_two on December 13, 2007, 10:57:45 AM
I see the problem.....in Step 7, you remove the ferret from the box. Don't do that. Just keep wrapping... Wink

Would your standard gift box even slow down a ferret who wants out?

Not if your gift is an aluminum briefcase with padlocks....  grin
Title: Re: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: grislyatoms on December 14, 2007, 08:01:24 AM
So, so true...

I heard a rustling in the pantry the other afternoon while I was otherwise occupied, shortly followed by a rythmic thunk, thunk, thunk. Came around the corner to find whole, raw potatoes EVERYWHERE! Blizzard knocked them out of the bin, rolled them onto the floor, and dragged them all over for whatever reason seemed good to her. I found one under my daughter's bed, even...

The other day I turned the water on for a shower and got in. I was standing in dog chow, little bits of it floating around in the water. Apparently, she steals it from the dog's bowl and the tub has become her new stash location.

Do not leave a full 64 ounce cup of water anywhere. It WILL be turned over and investigated. Not to mention playing with the water afterwards and playing with the water in the dog's bowl.

Also, when you run the bath water for your kiddo, make sure the door is shut, or you will have a soaking wet ferret...

Pens, pencils, remote controls, spoons, keys, Barbies, batteries, cassette tapes, flashlights, Polly Pockets, wrenches, screwdrivers, sockets, etc. will disappear without warning and sometimes without a trace. 

Never a dull moment with a ferret around. grin

Oh yeah, candy. Any ferret worth it's salt can smell any type of sweet confection from 2-3 miles away. If I open a package of gummy bears she will be in my lap with her head buried in the bag in about 3 seconds, no matter where she is in the house... I'm afraid she will stash one somewhere and choke on it later. Keep candy well away from ferrets!
Title: Re: How to wrap a Christmas present, with the aid of a ferret
Post by: RichK on December 14, 2007, 08:16:08 AM
They are fun little critters, aren't they? grin