Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => Politics => Topic started by: gunsmith on January 12, 2008, 04:33:33 PM
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Republicans Launch Effort to Rescue Clinton Candidacy
by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace ? 37 Comments
(2008-01-07) With the latest polls showing Democrat Sen. Barack Obama with a commanding lead in New Hampshire just hours before the states presidential primary, the Republican National Committee (RNC) today launched an effort to salvage the candidacy of presumed senator-for-life Hillary Clinton.
Sen. Clinton doesnt need money, so the RNC announced a three-pronged strategy to help her:
1) Packing Clinton campaign events with enthusiastic crowds of cheering Republicans, wearing silly hats and hemp-based fashions to conceal their identity
2) Urging conservative independents to vote for Sen. Clinton on Tuesday, and providing grief counselors and paramedical care at poll exits for those who comply
3) Luring former President Bill Clinton into campaigning for Sen. Obama instead, by offering him $10 million and a hip posse of Hollywood A-listers
Theres no difference in ideology or policies between Clinton and Obama, said an unnamed RNC source, But the last thing we want to face in November is a hopeful, inspiring, genuinely-likable adversary with no major ethical baggage. Thats just un-Democratic. We dont really have a viable strategy for that, since weve never had to run against such a person.
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I know it's satire because the GOP couldn't organize a circle jerk much less a clever political campaign.
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True, Rabbi. Unfortunately, very true.