Post by: natedog on September 20, 2005, 06:32:28 PM
I think I'll hold off on providing my own story till I'm 18...something better might come up
.
Post by: Standing Wolf on September 20, 2005, 06:42:40 PM
I just wanted to see it.
Post by: Winston Smith on September 20, 2005, 06:49:08 PM
Totally self created misery now that I'm quit.
Post by: jefnvk on September 20, 2005, 07:16:22 PM
Hit 3 digit speeds in both cars and snowmobiles, or managing to get the fishing boat completely out of the water in big waves out on the lake (irresponsible)
Sledding down the parking lot hill, volunteering to get dragged behing a pickup on an old mattress, mountain biking the hard trails the first time out (dangerous, and painful)
Post by: K Frame on September 20, 2005, 07:23:05 PM
We dropped it into a hole we dug with a post hole digger, and proceeded to blow a 6 foot wide crater in their back pasture.
His father was PISSED.
Post by: Antibubba on September 20, 2005, 09:41:07 PM
It did cure me of my pyromania, however.
Post by: Antibubba on September 20, 2005, 09:42:26 PM
I'm surashell not telling you that one, however.
Post by: Headless Thompson Gunner on September 20, 2005, 09:49:38 PM
Quote from: Mike Irwin
Friend and I decided to try making an ANFO bomb.
We dropped it into a hole we dug with a post hole digger, and proceeded to blow a 6 foot wide crater in their back pasture.
His father was PISSED.
We did the same thing, sort of. We dropped it into a hole we dug with a post hole digger, and proceeded to blow a 6 foot wide crater in their back pasture.
His father was PISSED.
We're city folk, so we didn't have a pasure. But my friend had an old cistern behind his house, about 8 feet from the back door. It was lined with concrete and had a big, heavy, steel cover (think manhole cover on steroids). We figured that was a safe place to contain the blast.
Heh, we were wrong. We finally found the cover in the neighbors yard, across the street. The concrete cistern walls had crumbled and collapsed. The foundation of the house was even a wee little bit cracked.
We filled in the cistern with old construction debris and dirt, then put the cover back on. We sealed the cover in place with a bit of wet concrete, because he was afraid his parents would open it and wonder why it was filled in. They never noticed the crack in the basement wall, thankfully.
Post by: Guest on September 20, 2005, 10:45:08 PM
Story goes at 9 months I was walking, by age 9.5 months I had already developed the ability to not only run, but to end up in the darndest places.
About a year old or so and Mom and I are on the train to Houston. Mom fell asleep, I wondered back to the Caboose. Not sure how I got thru all them cars, but I must have figured out something. There is something about the way a Conductor asks " Ma'am is this your kid?". Seems Mom has been asked that a lot over the years...
About age 3 Story goes Grandma and Mom were hanging out clothes, I again decided to check out the neighborhood. About 4 blocks away is a real busy 4 lane. I saw a cute puppy across that road, and I had seen the Safety Patrol at the school just hold up a hand to signal "Stop". So I wander out in the road and hold my little hand to signal Stop. 18 wheelers hitting air brakes, cars just a honking, tires squealing...Somebody called my Mom and Grandma - "It that your kid..." I didn't get to play with the puppy very long...
3 is also when I decided to wonder off in the bank. I wanted to check out the cool looking vault. There I was behind the locked gate [ I pulled it to, like I was taught to do with gates] just having a good time using the pencils and deposits slips drawing. I see the bank guard on the other side of locked gate pointing at me " Ma'am is that your kid?" Mom was not impressed with the picture I drew for her for some reason...
Mom washed my pet horney toad. I could have told her horney toads could not swim, I had already checked this with my first pet toad during the rinse cyle one day. I manged to get that one out of the washer before she came back from the clothes line...why do moms have always be washing jeans when they finally get all comfy and all?
About 4 I noticed the cloth covered cord for the lamp was not fully plugged in. I had to go under the lamp table to fix this. ZAP! Well I banged my head, don't remember the lamp crashing, the Goldfish bowl crashing either. There I was amidst flopping fish, wet floor, broken glass when mom returned from getting the paper off the front lawn. I got the lamp plugged in tho'.
I later found the cloth electrical tape and proceeded to fix that cord but good...I learned early to unplug cords before working on electrical stuff...also learned not to use Grandma's good scissors to do electrical work either.
[ it is amazing the hedges survived all those years, I wish I had a nickel for every switch taken off them things. I hate hedges to this day...]
About 5 I wondered off at the State Fair, I wanted to pet the Bull. Do you realize how freaked out folks get to see a kid , who somehow gets into Bull Pen, standing there offering a bull cotton candy and petting his nose?
I wondered off again that night during the Show. I found lots of money under the bleachers. Cop ask my mom " Ma'am, this your kid?
About 6 I found out my bed was not a trampoline ( forget the fact Mom had told me this a million times...) I got 13 stitches in my head when the headboard hit my noggin...I mangaged to take a chunk of the wood out too.
About 7 I was at my Uncle's, it had rained for a few days before, he wanted to burn stuff in the burn bbl. Well he was concerned about the fire getting lit, maybe 2 gallons of Gas was a bit much. He tossed that match and WOOF! After he gave me that look...he busted out laughing.
For some reason his daughters ( my cousins) did not find the bugs I put in the almost empty jar of Peanut Butter as being funny. Got downright mad about me putting honey on the toliet seat too...
Again about 7 - I'd go down to the train tracks and visit with the Hobos. We would make Hobo Stew. I would take a can of something from the cabinet to toss in. Mom would get mad and come down and find me...
One day I had heard all the Hobo stories, I hopped a train and went for a ride. Hopped off, Hopped another one coming back. Really cool. Mom was looking for me everywhere, had called all the neighbors. I told her I went for a train ride, she to this day does not belive me. She thinks I went down the sewer - again - and wandered thru the sewer pipes to chase rats and shoot them with my slingshot...something else I used to do...
If she only knew how many more times I would hop a train...
Mean old Drunk in the Housing Projects was the recipient of many of my ...err...he deserved it. I was really good with a Slingshot. I must have been 10 when I shot and broke that Fifth of Old Crow out of his hand...tough shot too...he was swaying pretty good on the porch steps when I took that shot...
Cars back then did not require a ignition key, just left in the "on" postion. I moved his old Ford so many nights after he came in knee walking drunk - next day , all hung over , he would wander about trying to find his Ford.
I then learned to glue BB's in the valve caps, this lets the air out. He would air them back up - only to have them leak down again. See the BB depresses the valve when screwed back on. Real Puzzling, had the tires checked at the fillin' station, nothing wrong with the tires. I would watch them dunk his tires one by one into water...no bubbles. I finally told the guys at the station what I was doing. I mean they were my source for ball bearings for my slingshot...They were soooo proud of me.
I have used that little trick often thru the years...
I nailed his doors shut one night after he went in Drunk. HOT summer night, I then pulled the switch to cut off his electricity...
In HS , well, the phones back them were hardwired. So to make sure we didn't have to take a certain test, I glued the phone reciever down in the English Dept office. I went across the street at the fillin' station and dialed the number, and let it ring...
I had alread switched the locks on two English Class doors during lunch. Funny, we could not get into our class nor could the other class...door locks were not unlocking...all the while that phone keep ringing. I told the cool maint guy what I had done, he thought it was a great stunt. English teachers put off the test for the following Monday...
Funny how pine trees grow up in front and back of Karman Ghias in a matter of hours so a teacher cannot leave the School...that seem to happen often...
I didn't know it was illegal to fly under bridges in a crop duster...
I do know what is is like to crash land a Crop Duster - Twice this happened. BTW - do you realize how many snakes are in a rice paddy? Do you realize how it is to walk out of rice paddy?
Dirt Bikes do not float...I found the River tho'....
Ford trucks roll better than Malibus, and using a Toyota Celia to take down trees while rolling down a mountain is not recommended. Beats a head-on collision...
Not a good idea to drop Cyanide in the sink after using Nitric acid...you get this really funky brown cloud. All you can do is hit the exhaust fan and run like hell...
Elevators that drop 2 floors before the brakes catch will get your heart rate up...
Bulls get pissed if you hit golf balls into their pasture. TIP : make sure the gate is closed before 7 iron practice...
About 6 months ago I used the BB in the valve cap trick again. See the lady was gonna leave the abusive situation, the BG BF would get high and that is when she was gonna leave. To make sure he couldn't follow her, his tires would be pretty much flat by my timing...
She left, he never woke up, but his tires were in need of air so I am told when he did try to leave....
I'm 50 - so I ask again when does Childhood end? ;P
Post by: telewinz on September 21, 2005, 12:03:43 AM
Post by: TarpleyG on September 21, 2005, 12:41:35 AM
Quote
turning down sex with a pretty co-ed who climbed in through my college dorm window
[Napolean Dynamite Voice]Idiot.
[/Napolean Dynamite Voice]
Hmmm....
Once shot a flaming arrow into the back siding of a neighbors house because I hated the kid that lived there...boy was dad pissed.
Friend and I tried (well, succeeded really) to play Jake and Elroy and jump his '70something LTD over the steepest railroad crossing I have EVER seen.
Set a field on fire next to our house.....twice.....in the same summer...I had an issue with fire.
Got 'detained' by the popo for climbing around on top of the middle school at 2:00 AM. Dad pissed again.
There's a bunch more but I must digress...
Greg
Post by: 280plus on September 21, 2005, 01:21:59 AM
My friend had just broken his brand new crash cymbal Zildgan (sp) he had just paid like $300 . We were at the rehearsal studio in the old industrial complex late at night. I had some M80s.
We took the cymbal out into the back area which was surrounded by 3 story buildings and put an M80 on the ground wick up and put the cymbal over the M80 with the fuse sticking out the hole, lit the fuse and ran like hell. That cymbal went PERFECTLY STRAIGHT UP just like a flying saucer taking off and it CLEARED the top of the buildings by a good 15 - 20 feet!! It then came down in a flutter kind of a pattern and CRASHED on the asphalt. One of us said , "That was COOL, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!" From out of nowhere we hear "YOU BETTER NOT OR I"LL CALL THE COPS!!" Never did see who it was or where they were.LMAO even now...
Post by: esheato on September 21, 2005, 02:29:55 AM
Lit a sewer on fire after I slipped a Sunday ediiton paper down it.
Exploring all the local sewers.
Placed a large firecracker (M-1000? M-100? Something like that) in a large blue mailbox...cops showed up and I nearly got busted for interfering with the mail.
Caught stealing more times than I care to remember....The nice policemen always took me home. :?
I really turned into an idiot when I got my first car, but we won't go into that...
Ed
Post by: BillBlank on September 21, 2005, 03:06:58 AM
Sir, I salute your creativity and am deeply jealous.
Age 6 and addicted to books. For some reason thought WHSmith's (big chain bookstore) was like the library but without all that silly book stamping nonsense. Got rumbled when shop assistant saw me pulling four or five books out of my school bag and putting them back on the shelf. Nice lady, gave me a lollipop and a swift lesson in capitalism.
Age ten or eleven in a tent with a friends "curious" teenage sister. Due to a heady mix of confusion and terror I missed out on what would have been an interesting lesson. Mistake corrected with the accomodating young lady seven years later.
Age thirteen "borrowed" an "educational" video from a friends older brother. I was staying with granny and he turned up on the doorstep an hour later and explained the situation to my gran. Cue 70 year old lady picking up miscreant child by scruff of neck and spanking him in the street for stealing. Still wince with embarrasment now.
Post by: TarpleyG on September 21, 2005, 03:24:37 AM
Quote
Exploring all the local sewers.
Man does that bring back some memories. We had almost every storm sewer mapped out in my neighborhood. Problem was that they were not big enough to stand up in so we had to traverse on hands and knees. Good for sneaking from block to block.Greg
Post by: TarpleyG on September 21, 2005, 03:29:57 AM
Quote
About 5 I wondered off at the State Fair, I wanted to pet the Bull. Do you realize how freaked out folks get to see a kid , who somehow gets into Bull Pen, standing there offering a bull cotton candy and petting his nose?
LMAOROTFLPIMPGreg
Post by: The Rabbi on September 21, 2005, 04:26:34 AM
Post by: grampster on September 21, 2005, 04:27:08 AM
sm is my evil twin!
PS--sm, that smiley is colonP not semicolonP heh heh heh.
Post by: wmenorr67 on September 21, 2005, 04:37:30 AM
Post by: BrokenPaw on September 21, 2005, 04:47:47 AM
It happened that my father kept a gas can in the garage for filling the lawn mower[0], so we appropriated about three quarters of a coffee-can full. We figured that'd be enough. I (as the generous provider of the fuel) was given the honor of doing the pouring and the lighting. So I poured the gas very carefully onto the surface of the creek, slowly enough that it would have time to crawl through the tunnel.
The plan was, once I could see the soap-bubble discoloration on the surface of the water as it reached the other end of the tunnel, I was to toss a lit match onto the water's surface.
I didn't really give much thought to the fact that the creek flowed rather slowly, and therefore the gas in the tunnel had quite a bit of time to be doing nefarious things like evaporating and mixing with the air in the tunnel and forming, in effect, a 200-cubic-foot FAE bomb.
Apparently some bit way back down in basest part of my mind had thought about it, though. So instead of standing in front of the tunnel so I could see the fire, I stood to the side when I tossed the match.
>whump<
The hardest part of the whole thing was explaining to my mom what had happened to my shoes. And pants. And shirt. And eyebrows. It's difficult to look innocent and angelic with no eyebrows.
There was a scorched area on the ground extending about 20 feet out of either end of the tunnel. I was lucky.
-BP
- With the amount of gas I snaffled for my juvenile entertainments, I imagine he probably thought there was something wrong with the mower.
Post by: mfree on September 21, 2005, 04:58:38 AM
Took a Lincoln with 260,000 miles on it up to roughly 130mph. Started to want to fly at about that speed, I've never felt a car wobble UP and settle down before.
Drove from Cinci to Knoxville TN in 2 1/2 hours one trip in an '84 Tbird.... which had around 150K on it at the time.
Accidentally set my car on fire after fixing it because I wanted to set the timing before connecting the exhaust collector back on, and a backfire set off a fuel leak I hadn't noticed. Said car's engine was drenched in oil (was a rush repair), was in the garage full of paint, thinner, and other volatiles, and the fire extinguisher was buried in the trunk of another car that I didn't have the keys handy for.
Rode a half-done "go-cart" (it was HUGE, lawnmower frame extended with box rail and angle iron) down a big hill, no brakes, no SEAT, and a big whirring chain sprocket on the differential just waiting to perforate me...
Others:
Played in the neighbor's (junk)yard all the time, full of rusty metal and broken glass.
As an insomniac child, I burnt small things in my bedroom at night, right up until the night I caught a cologne-soaked tissue on fire and dropped it on the nylon carpet. Spent about 3 hours picking charred bits out of the carpet and smoothing the cut out (shag carpet) till it just looked like a flat spot. Actually, playing with fire indoors at all is the stupid part...
Took an intentional header off the top of a 10' tall swingset and landed flat on my back.
Spit in my hands and stuck 'em to a frozen chain-link fence pole.
Shot BBs at a standing plastic drain pipe, several times, even *after* being hit fairly hard a few times.
Rambled through some rocky areas in the woods without paying attention *or* listening to the parents who *repeatedly* told us it's copperhead season and they've already killed two of them in *the back yard*....
Dumbest thing of all:
college credit cards. Enoguh said. Still paying for that one...
Post by: charby on September 21, 2005, 05:13:53 AM
Charby
Post by: mtnbkr on September 21, 2005, 05:25:30 AM
Yes, I have lots of scars...
Chris
Post by: Jamisjockey on September 21, 2005, 06:04:19 AM
Using a sawed off .410 SxS to destroy mailboxes
Homeade Pipe bombs for blowing up anthills (that was actually with the help of my buddies Dad...we were 14).
Riding out a hurricane on the Outer Banks.
Hopping moving trains
My Younger brother was worse. He helped in all the above activites, and He:
Ran from the police in an '81 Corrolla.....
Stole a Backhoe
played with poisionous snakes
Blew his toe off with an antique 16ga
Smoked weed
Post by: SalukiFan on September 21, 2005, 06:22:30 AM
I didn't have a tire and I didn't have a suitable hill. What I did have was a round laundry basket and the basement stairs.
I stuffed myself into the laundry basket and launched myself off the top step. I think I had maybe 1 revolution before I bounced out of the basket and tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom.
Although I wound up with a wicked rug burn from the candy stripe shag carpeting that covered the concrete basement floor, I never told my parents what happened because I was so embarassed that it didn't work like it did on tv and I knew I'd get in trouble.
Isn't amazing that we all survived to adulthood?
Post by: SalukiFan on September 21, 2005, 06:29:47 AM
When I was about five, I found a piece of plywood that my dad had left on the back porch. At this age, my understanding of physics was developed from Road Runner cartoons so I decided that I would go and stand on the piece of plywood and pick myself up.
I strained, trying to lift that piece of plywood while standing on top of it. I heaved and heaved but somehow couldn't get that board to budge. I remember thinking that I would have to try it again when I was stronger and then I would be able to do it. I thought that I would just have to practice for a while and then I would be able to pick that board up and levitate!
Post by: K Frame on September 21, 2005, 06:48:45 AM
We buried the speedo at 160, and were still gaining speed, when we decided that discretion was the better part of staying alive.
Post by: Nathaniel Firethorn on September 21, 2005, 06:55:09 AM
Age 8: Playing out by the backyard trash burner. Had a catfood can full of gas in my hand and thought it'd be cool to stick a burning stick in it. Wasn't.
- NF
Post by: Guest on September 21, 2005, 07:05:55 AM
Like that grampster?
I read everything Ruark wrote. The first thing I did when a Field & Stream came into my possession - was to read Ruark's page. Then I read Tarpley's Tips.
I had a real good time as a kid ...I sure do not remember Ruark depleting the hedges - one switch at a time tho'.
I always wondered if Tarpley ever got switched for using his Mom's lipstick to color fishing lures...I mean it works really well, just you have stand up to fish, butt too sore to sit down on the bank to fish...
Quote
After reading sm's post I have a lot of catching up to do. Can I do it in 12 years?
NO! Like I mentioned I am 50, and I do not plan on "being old". Like the man said " Youth is wasted on the young".
Art puts it very well - " I didn't grow up - I just got bigger".
Anyone ever tie flies for flyfishing? You want to "impress your wife and her friends"? Use the Krups Coffee Bean Grinder to blend the squirrel's hair...forget to clean it ou, and just leave it on the counter. The wifey just stuck it in the cabinet without looking. That afternoon her co-workers come over and she makes coffee...or attempts to...Ewwy, Boy was wifey and her friends "impressed".
I " got to" [ like in right now] buy another Krups for the kitchen, as usual the hubby [me] gets the "old used stuff".
Her daddy thought it was a great idea...me using Black powder to rid the back yard of Fire Ants. Seems his wife was as impressed as mine was. Next visit to In-laws wife and her mom first thought to send us out back...then second thought hit we might scheme or come up with something else. Somehow we ended up doing the cooking and the wife and mom got visit...they kept checking on us and everytime we opened a cabinet..."You don't need nothing from there", 'Put it back whatever it is you are getting out', then we spied the Raccoon that had been getting in the Garden. [out in the Country mind you]
FIL yells "Fire in the Hole"
I fired off a round from the back door with the 30-30 he kept behind back door.
Stepson is impressed...
Wife and MIL answered the phone that rang..." yeah that was Steve...about that Raccon, it won't be bothering the garden anymore".
FIL tells stepson/grandson "your daddy never taught you stuff like that...pay attention and learn from Steve.
We didn't even burn the Fried Chicken , mess up the mashed 'taters , goof up the gravy, or forget about the Peach Cobbler. Even made a extra pitcher of tea...during all the fun.
Moans and groans from wifey and MIL " Lord help us all ...and you boys cannot go play with the dead Raccoon until supper is finished, and the dishes are washed and dried.
Women...they just don't understand "guy stuff".
---
Anyone else ever impress your mom by putting the fish you caught in the bathtub for her to see?
Way I figure it , since it was my job to clean to clean the tub anyway - what should she care?
Maybe the part where I put little brother in tub with the fish is what got her all riled up. I thought it was a good idea, little brother thought it fun, playing with the fish and all...kept him occupied while I changed baby sister's diapers, and entertained her while cooking supper.
And just what is so wrong with taking the Corning Ware Coffee Perculator outside, running an extension cord, and putting bike parts in it to clean them? HOT Spic&Span does a real good job of getting bike parts clean.
Oh by age 10 I could take a bike all apart , I mean a-l-l apart and back together. All the kids brought their bikes over for me to fix. I mean I really did fix them correctly and all. Always fun to have a flat to fix and to lit the glue for the patches...
I 'fixed' the lawnmower all by myself by age 11, I really did. Freaks out a mom to see the lawmower all apart, she was not impressed to see it on the kitchen table tho'. I used newspapers to protect...it was raining, and it did entertain the sibs.
Every have to get Jello out of a gas tank? I have...it aint easy,little brother was "helping"- but using baby sisters baby bottle brush works pretty good. Tip: don't leave sitting in the sink , Moms 'just think' all is okay when you drag all the lawnmower stuff to covered front porch...STEVE!!! carries thru the walls of a wood frame house, and closed froint door really well and onto front porch. I knew I left that gas tank somewhere....
Switches don't break off any easier in the rain btw...
Post by: Paddy on September 21, 2005, 07:43:31 AM
Post by: Iain on September 21, 2005, 08:10:57 AM
Lived quite a tame life, in fact I've done stupider things as an 'adult' than as a kid. Childhood exploits are limited:
- Walked through the burning embers of a formerly large bonfire. Been called Shadrach ever since. I was wearing shoes.
- Attempted to smoke grass aged 10. Grass from the garden. Innocence was bliss.
- Smacked elder brother in the face with a cricket bat. Got one in return. We were about 5 and 3.
- Until I was about 11 we had a go-kart that we used to push down the street, several local kids too, as fast as we could, and then when we got to one kids drive we'd slam the handbrake on and turn it through 90 degrees. By aged 11 we were a little too big, but only stopped when I rolled the thing.
- Made bamboo bow and arrow. Got the arrow snapped by an irate older brother (guess why) and meshed the splintered ends back together and fired it again. Not particularly painful, but oh so stupid. Big splinters.
- Covered up the fact that my 6 year old cousin accidentally shot my younger brother with an air rifle. Told my parents it was from him falling on barbed wire. I doubt they believed me really.
There will be more. As an adult I've messed with petrol, I've tolerated some insane driving from friends, I attempted to bench 135lbs at 120lbs and the first time I'd ever done it, attempted to squat 135lbs at 135lbs and the first time I'd ever done it. Stupider because I definitely knew better.
Post by: Brian Williams on September 21, 2005, 08:21:23 AM
I had a devil of a time trying to fit a patch on a vinyl swimming pool liner while still full of h20.. I wanted to find out how far a 22lr will go in water...
Powdered chlorine and suger make a great Groundhog hole smoke bomb...
Pass shooting ground hogs with a 22lr while riding a 20" Stingray bicycle down a country lane.
Post by: 280plus on September 21, 2005, 09:05:44 AM
Post by: Strings on September 21, 2005, 11:16:41 AM
Post by: grampster on September 21, 2005, 11:52:17 AM
Does driving rapidly off the top of a steep hill in a 1949 Mercury and then cramping the wheels severely in order to see how many times one could roll the car count?
After reading this thread and then ruminating about my ill spent youth, I finally have understood why my mother told all of her friends and relatives that I was "accident prone". Let's just leave it at that.
Post by: auschip on September 21, 2005, 11:55:31 AM
No matter how fast you think you can run, you can't run as fast as the moving car you just jumped from.
There is a right way and a wrong way to throw out a trotline. You only do the wrong way once.
No matter what your buddies say, shooting a bb gun at a wild bee hive is not cool.
Post by: mfree on September 21, 2005, 12:02:49 PM
When my turn came up, I started to stop for it about six or seven hundred feet back.
I shot past it at 20mph. After locking one rear tire up.
Post by: Guest on September 21, 2005, 01:18:36 PM
pax has a good quote, something about how amazing it is little boys actually do live long enough to become adults.
Good grief, that lady has 5 boys, I teased her once about at what time did she 1) figure out what caused these boys to appear, and 2) and what point did it finally dawn on her give up on having a daughter? She had an interesting reply - only pax can express herself so well. *grin*.
Thread Drift:
Yes I have had my fun, curious times, lucky times, being a "typical kid" and I guess what pax would call "typical boy.
I have learned from others as my Mentors advised - strongly I might add.
Spring loaded center punch - When I was in retail I had bought about six new ones. One of my older employees, decided to check the new vs old ones. I was going to get new springs and have the old ones fixed up and back in "like new" condition. He used his thumbnail. I am standing there thinking to myself " he is NOT gonna do what I think he is gonna do". YeOUCH!!. Yep- he center-punched his thumbnail with the new one. He decided right quick he would not "test" the old one for a baseline comparison. He Flat refused to test these old ones once refurbished.
Spent enough time at a boat dock and you too will see a Boat launch a vehicle into the lake.
My observations: a lady (wife, gf, daughter) has enough sense to NOT want to follow the male's ( hubby, bf, daddy) instructions, even if they "start to" they have enough sense to stop. This is when the male usually 'shows the females how it is done to save face while other males are watching. Yep - the males show them allright...
I always get a kick seeing someone use silicon spray on a office chair to make rolling easier on the linoleum floor. Really great when all the men do this, slipping and sliding all over the place with leather soled shoes.
Women may "use the wrong lubricant" on a office chair [ usually 3-in-one] - still even in heels they mangage to stay upright and walk a straight line.
Men are usually great cooks. Trying to use the tips learned from TV Chefs , like adding Alcohol to a food while cooking...and doing so on a open outdoor wood fire is entertaining....
Men say women are not "car smart" . I have never seen a women change the oil and forget to put the drain plug back in. I have observed , the oil spill in the driveway and "Honey, isn't this plug thingie part of your truck?" .
This is the part where the guy is about to blow a gasket. Having to stay calm and cool all the while needing paper towels, getting the plug out of wife's hands [ without snatching it...snatching said plug is grounds for a butt chewing, couch sleeping for a few nights, and ALL the neighbors and ALL the hubby's friends finding out "how smart" the husband is] , asking "permission" to borrow the wifes car to buy more oil.
Oh yeah...for three years after the incident - the wife can still "see" the oil spill in HER driveway. She will remind the hubby the next time in a argument he makes the "couch sleeping mistak" of using the "stupid" word in reference to how men are superior to women in mechanical stuff.
NEVER EVER PUT OIL ON A OXYGEN TANK !!. I was little, I remember hearing the explosion and a mentor showing me the Obit in the newspaper.
I also remember as a kid the "pet deer" puncturing the lung of the fellow that had it. Deer do not make good pets.
Back in the day Men used Aftershave a Lot. I remember to this day the fellow leaving the Barber shop after getting his beard trimmed and lighting a cigar. The Barber told him to "give it some time". Thank goodness the barber ran out with a towel and put that guys face fire out.
DO NOT test a power washer by putting wand over toe of tennis shoes to test "pressure". Had two guys in one week come into the ER/OR and leave with one one foot shorter than the other...
Bauxite pits are the swimming pools of death.
Post by: Larry Ashcraft on September 21, 2005, 01:24:39 PM
Left high school one night and took this dirt road that I had been on before. However, I had a young date I had to impress, so I floored mom and dad's 56 Plymouth. When I hit about 60 I realized there was this culvert in front of me that you had to go over reeeaaaalll slow. Oops, we must have got about three feet of air before we slammed to the ground. A few days later my dad asked me how gravel got all over the engine.
Another time, same car, same date, we were driving down highway 50 through Vineland when I decided to put the left tires in the slush in the middle of the road and floor it. We ended up doing about three donuts down the middle of the highway at about 40 MPH. Didn't hit anything though.
Oh, the date? She was a cute 17 year old named Sandy. She married me anyway and we celebrate our 35th anniversary next month. She still isn't impressed though.
Another time, about four of us guys decided our high school needed a victory bell, and there was this unused bell on top of this elementary school (where I had incidently gone to school). The first time they tried to get it, I was hunting deer with my dad and they got caught. The next weekend, we tried it again, with me as wheel man. I drove the 56 Plymouth around the block a couple times (blocks out our way are 1/4 mile on a side) while they finished the job. I pulled back into the school yard and we loaded the bell and the stands into the trunk and took off.
We used the bell for a couple of weeks while dragging Main. Set it up in the back of a truck and drive around ringing it with a rope in the cab. The we built a stand for it, painted it school colors and presented it to the school at a football game. That was in 1966, and the school still has the same bell at football games. There are all kinds of stories about where that bell came from and who was involved, but now you know the "real story".
Post by: grampster on September 21, 2005, 01:45:58 PM
Needless to say a good long time was spent wading and feeling around in the crick looking for the tray. Did I mention it was November in Michigan? Did I also forget to mention that back then most of the citiy's storm sewers, all industrial sludge, and most of the pumped septage was deposited in that crick? As Lawdog would be wont to say...sigh.
To make matters worse, we had to sit in the principals office and read a letter of apology, that we had to compose, to the entire school. Of course 3 of us were scholars who actually knew what a dictionary was and the 4th (the one we picked to read our manifesto) was dyslexic, and who's reading skills were determined by and limited to, the naming of the colors on whatever comic book he happened to be looking at the pictures in.
Does adding fuel to the fire sound familiar here? Also one should never laugh and poke each other while your victim is tying a millstone around YOUR neck, especially in front of the principal who used to be a professional wrestler named "Mighty Joe Young".
Things went downhill from there.
Post by: ...has left the building. on September 21, 2005, 01:47:18 PM
Post by: Guest on September 21, 2005, 07:05:34 PM
Post by: atek3 on September 22, 2005, 09:09:38 PM
We made M-80's with acetone peroxide. Unfortunately I underestimated the fuse length while I was holding in my hand, it ended up blowing about 10 feet away instead of 60 ft... we couldn't hear so well for a while.
Post by: grislyatoms on September 23, 2005, 07:18:21 AM
on Grandma's antique couch. I just flipped the cushion over. She didn't find it for a couple years, then blamed my Grandad (careless smoker).
Lit a small fire under Grandad's magnificent outdoor brickwork, then put a quart mayonnaise jar full of gasoline over the fire (about 3' or so). Shot the jar with my BB gun. Had to clean the soot and blackened areas of the brickwork with a toothbrush and Comet.
Threw a full shaving cream can in the burn barrel. The force of the explosion actually blew the fire out!
Decided to fill my "Popeye" plastic bubble pipe with match heads and smoke just like grandaddy. Luckily I never got to the inhaling part. As soon as I touched off the match heads, my Popeye bubble pipe became a fireball!
Sailed my 10' dinghy into the Chesapeake Bay during a 40mph nor'easter. Going out was a blast, coming back in was scary. While I was out, a large groundswell had developed (biggest waves I have ever seen on the Bay side of the beach, and I lived there for 27 years) A swell came from astern, and I surfed about halfway down the wave before turning sideways and rolling over. Getting rolled by a wave while sitting on a 300 lb hunk of fiberglass, canvas, and nylon line is not fun.
Thank god it was a Boston Whaler, they really will not sink! Bent my mast, though, and got a nasty gash over my eye from hitting either the boat, the mast or the boom. A couple guys on the beach swam out to help me. Thanks, guys, if you're out there!
Post by: grampster on September 23, 2005, 07:56:43 AM
Post by: Zundfolge on September 23, 2005, 06:28:02 PM
Post by: Felonious Monk/Fignozzle on September 23, 2005, 06:57:56 PM
Quote from: grampster
Reminder of the WHUMP/BOOOM commonality among members.
Mine contains bits and pieces of each of your stories.Formative years summed up as sundry combinations of:
Whump Boom Screech Crash Clang Crunch Glug Whiz Puke and ROTFL.
Post by: 280plus on September 23, 2005, 11:54:12 PM
Post by: S. Williamson on September 24, 2005, 01:05:43 AM
Fireworks. Nothing more need be explained.
Borrowing my mom's car when she was out of town for the weekend. Yes, it will go faster than the speedometer, and yes, she will find out.
Young, 1"-diameter trees make good homemade bows. Do not, however, fire one inside the home. Especially more than once.
Trying to impress hte family by having dinner made by 6:00 is a good thing. However, if boiling off alcohol from rum or whisky, do not use a large flame. Yes, the ensuing ball of fire is observable from the living room.
Not necessarily a good a idea to jump into a stream "because I was bored and wanted to see where it went."
If you're seven years old it's a good idea to ask your dad for permission first before taking his prized racing thoroughbred for an all-day ride.
Riding lawn mowers are not ATVs.
When in Chemistry class, keep track of a beaker's contents. HCl looks a lot like water--don't clean up a spill with your bare hands.
Related to previous: Even if you know how to do it, and have the materials and necessary protective gear, it is not always a good idea to build a chemical battery in the middle of class.
A tree fort, made without the help of adults, is only marginally safer than setting your clothes on fire. Still can't figure out how I never fell out of that.
Using improvised explosives to detonate red ant hills is fun.
Football in middle school.
Sledding in the middle of nowhere by yourself on a ramshackle homemade sled.
Sledding on the University of Kansas' caralon hill between classes. People do not know you're about to hit them unless you scream "LOOK OUT!!!"
"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice..." :p Still can't figure out how I've never broken a bone or suffered extensive scarring.
Post by: mfree on September 26, 2005, 03:45:57 AM
I don't know if y'all remember Construx... little plastic building blocks like a cross between legos and tinker toys. Handy little things, they locked together positively on little tiny "hubs" that had holes through them for pins and such...
....anyways, one day I got all creative and such, made a boxed frame and a release pin, made a handle, strung it with something like 4 or 6 fresh rubber bands, stretched them back to about 8", and pinned this little constructed "bolt" back.
Heh, I violated 3 of the safety rules and found out that the little plastic crossbow bolt would through-and-through the fiber panelling in the living room ceiling. Yikes.