Post by: Agent P on October 13, 2005, 04:47:32 AM
-Oh my stars and garters (got this from the Beast in an X-Men comic from years ago)
-Whut in the Sam Hill (oldie but goodie)
-Criminently, Trigger! (from Disney's Robin Hood. Sometimes followed with "Put that pea-shooter day-own!")
-Ee cha mama you (random Jawa/Ewok gibberish)
My 5 year old brother likes saying "Please and cheese?". I think he heard "Pretty please with sugar on top?" and modified it. What can I say? The boy likes cheese.
My best friend says "Holy Crow!" Yeah, she's a freak.
Post by: Werewolf on October 13, 2005, 04:56:53 AM
Well - look at it this way - at least they can't eat ya.
Post by: Jamisjockey on October 13, 2005, 05:15:43 AM
Used luggage sale
Bonanza: 10,000 dead doctors can't be wrong!
Post by: charby on October 13, 2005, 05:18:54 AM
- Three sheets to the wind and hanging onto a forth
- Drunk as a three dollar skunk
- Busier than a Kennedy at happy hour
- Crazier than a pet coon
- Pouring on the coals
- Shut er down boys she's suckin' mud
- Bueller, Bueller, Fry Fry
- Well S**t the bed
- Don't sweat the small things and don't pet the sweaty things
- Crazier than a rat in a s**t house
- He/She is all 6's and 9's
- Colder than a well digger's ass
- That is the pot calling the kettle black
- I call Shenadigans
- mmm yeah, sure and monkeys will fly out of my ass too
- so are your parents related by chance?
Post by: garrettwc on October 13, 2005, 07:47:29 AM
Post by: RadioFreeSeaLab on October 13, 2005, 08:25:02 AM
Sh*t on a stick. (Not often, just when work turns into a charlie foxtrot)
Post by: Fjolnirsson on October 13, 2005, 09:55:27 AM
Post by: griz on October 13, 2005, 10:16:07 AM
From a Frank Zappa song.
Post by: Old Fud on October 13, 2005, 10:45:32 AM
What you mean "WE", White man?
That tears the rag off the bush!
Hey Mr. Custer -- I don't wanna go!
No good deed goes unpunished.
We need a better grade of idiots around here.
There goes the old neighborhood.
Shazam!
Ugg, Kimosabe!
And my baby sister's favorite ------ "Holy Moly"
Post by: USP45usp on October 13, 2005, 10:53:16 AM
..... and, that has what to do with the price of tea in china (when someone gets OT during a face to face conversation).
Wayne
Post by: Fly320s on October 13, 2005, 11:01:09 AM
Aw, shiites!!
When you don't feel like going to work: "I have anal glaucoma... I can't see my ass coming to work today."
Post by: Standing Wolf on October 13, 2005, 11:51:10 AM
Post by: Mongo on October 13, 2005, 12:12:44 PM
Posilutely!
and, for gun safety...
Keep your booger hook off the bang switch!
Post by: charby on October 13, 2005, 12:50:06 PM
"nuttier than squirrel poo"
C
Post by: grampster on October 13, 2005, 01:05:29 PM
Judas priest!
Cheeze n' crackers got all muddy!
What tha Sam Hill?
Dayum!
Post by: MaterDei on October 13, 2005, 01:35:56 PM
-Holy smoke, the church in on fire!
-Shut the front door (in lieu of shut the **** up)
Post by: JAlexander on October 13, 2005, 02:13:50 PM
Ever'body has a right to go to h*ll in their own way.
I'm sure there are many others, but I can't recall them just now. They're probably obscene anyway.
James
Post by: Unisaw on October 13, 2005, 03:10:55 PM
Post by: Guest on October 13, 2005, 04:31:03 PM
"Arright, WHO WIZZED IN THE GENE POOL!?"
Post by: The Rabbi on October 13, 2005, 05:05:08 PM
-Tighter than Dick's hat band
-Steal the stink off of doo doo.
Post by: Dannyboy on October 13, 2005, 05:16:56 PM
F*** me runnin'
Post by: Guest on October 13, 2005, 05:24:01 PM
"Son-of-a-bitch!"
"This makes about as much sense as Cisco's exams."
"You really don't want to know what I think about ...".
"Boy ain't wired right for damn sure."
"Of course it wont't work right - it was designed by Microsoft".
"Not often you see that much Stupidty - in such a small brain"
"A BB rolling down a six lane freeway would appear bigger than their brain".
"Screw plan B, I'm going for Plan X"
"Screw the rules - that is what got us in this mess"
"Still think a bigger hammer would work".
"Drop-Kick fixed it".
"Either it is or it ain't - kinda like being almost pregnant"
"I ain't got time for stupid people".
"I would kill for a cup of coffee".
--
This sums up tonight's evening class on campus pretty much
Post by: Phyphor on October 13, 2005, 05:24:22 PM
I'll be f*cked sideways
Post by: grampster on October 13, 2005, 05:29:21 PM
The poked in the eye with sharp stick phrase was one of my dad's favorite sayings.
Evoked some good memories. Thanks. Goldammit to hell anyway, was another.
Dryer than a popcorn fart.
Post by: Strings on October 13, 2005, 05:59:57 PM
If you can't eat it, f*** it, or kill it, salute it. If it don't salute back, paint it green
Or my favorite replies to a "thank you":
for the generic; no problem, I'd do the same for a white man
while holding the door for old ladies; well, mom raised one gentleman. I got tired of his attitude and kilt him
Post by: Winston Smith on October 13, 2005, 06:12:21 PM
"Hey, Jack, would you go downstairs and kick-f&(k some of those boxes?"
Kick f"9k?
Haha, that tea in china one had me cracking up. Whenever anyone pulls a non-sequitur i say 'Like all the horses in china!" and have a straight face.
When the new security on campus tried to take my longboard:
"Hmm.. yeah... okay, let's try that, and see what happens."
Straight face and smile. This guy is 3x my size. It worked.
Edit: and by worked I mean I got to keep my longboard and he understood that every rule doesn't have to be 100% enforced.
Post by: garrettwc on October 13, 2005, 06:20:36 PM
Quote from: Fly320s
When you don't feel like going to work: "I have anal glaucoma... I can't see my ass coming to work today."
ROTFLMAO that's fantastic!
Post by: brimic on October 13, 2005, 06:41:31 PM
To someone who is a smartass or who tries talking way over my head "shut up, you're making me hate you"
"beer is food"
An expression of agreement- "yeah hey" -if this one slips out when I'm talking to someone in another state, they pretty much immediately guess which state I'm from.
Post by: The Rabbi on October 14, 2005, 04:37:17 AM
He would go up to two people at a party talking and exclaim "that'll be the day!" If they nodded agreement, they were clueless.
When asked about two things he would say "it's six to one, two dozen the other" and see if anyone noticed.
Post by: StopTheGrays on October 14, 2005, 05:31:39 AM
"Go pound sand"
If someone tried to chew me out I refered to it as "getting a case of the a$$"
Post by: StopTheGrays on October 14, 2005, 05:34:18 AM
Quote from: brimic
An expression of agreement- "yeah hey" -if this one slips out when I'm talking to someone in another state, they pretty much immediately guess which state I'm from.
And if someone says "ya, der hey", people in WI know that person is from Milwaukee 
Post by: Brian Williams on October 14, 2005, 06:03:17 AM
"You needs an operectomy"
Reply
"Wazzzat?"
explaination
"that is an operation to put a window in your belly button..."
Reply
"Why?"
Answer
"So you can see where you are going..."
Doofus walks away with a smell of smoke coming out of his ears from trying to figure that one out..
Post by: Strings on October 14, 2005, 06:03:26 AM
Post by: charby on October 14, 2005, 06:17:13 AM
"Hey I have this little game I want you to play, its called why don't you go out back and play hide and go f**k yourself"
C
Post by: Art Eatman on October 14, 2005, 11:52:11 AM
"That boy ain't bad; he's just eat up with the terminal dumbass."
"The trouble with him is that when he hits bottom, he starts digging."
"Shove his brains down a jay-bird's throat, that sucker'd fly backwards."
"He has a talent for making people happy. It's most notable when he leaves the room."
And on and on and on...
, Art
Post by: Stickjockey on October 14, 2005, 02:08:48 PM
Post by: Fly320s on October 15, 2005, 02:23:22 PM
Quote
I hope I didn't kill this.
Like hell you did. Those are fantastic!!Reminds me of a couple:
"He's not the fastest cookie in the drawer."
"Happy as a clam bake."
"If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.'
Post by: Agent P on October 15, 2005, 06:46:58 PM
Reminds me of ol' McGinty from Boondock Saints...
"Why don't you make like a tree...and get the f*** outta here?!"
Post by: Standing Wolf on October 15, 2005, 07:29:01 PM
Trickier than eating popcorn in the shower.
Turn that wayno, I mean the other wayabout a mile or so before you get to the big white farm house that burned down about five years ago.
Twice as much fun as two puppies and an old sock.
Heck, if they weren't paying me, I'd have to pay them.
Vacuous promises will be available in the second quarter.
Colorful expressions make modern audiences feel theyre riding an uphill glacier: if you dont fall into a crevasse of self-importance, youll surely trigger an avalanche of cuteness.
Avoid euphemisms like the you know what.
A good cliché is worth its weight in gold.
Neglecting to exercise a dictionary can make ones usage seem incontinent.
A metaphor is like a simile, except it stands for something kind of like a symbol. Your word processors got five or six icons to take care of all that stuff automatically.
Use a thesaurus to enliven your communications with appetizing, buoyant, crepitatious, definitive, elegant, fanciful, graphic, hilarious, ingenious, judicious, kaleidoscopic, languid, melodic, neoclassical, opportune, powerful, quotidian, regal, sonorous, tenacious, ubiquitous, venerable, whimsical, xenobiotic, yearning, zany adjectives.
Analogies in business communications are like bunny rabbits on bicycles: they just dont fly.
Post by: SalukiFan on October 16, 2005, 05:12:09 AM
"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel."
And, in the immortal words of my mother:
"Having kids is like making waffles - by the time you get good at it, you've got too many anyway..."