Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Grandpa Shooter on January 28, 2009, 11:02:22 AM
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The tread I started about the 93 year old Vet who died of hypothermia got me thinking. How many of us live close enough to our parents to actually help them in their end years or an emergency?
I live over 3,000 miles from my Mother. I only go back when my brother and sister can't deal with her anymore. She gets mad at them and they back down. She has been mad at me since I was 12 so it doesn't matter much anymore.
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I live about 1800ish miles from my family. I choose to live here in large part because it's so far from them.
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I live about 1800ish miles from my family. I choose to live here in large part because it's so far from them.
lol... +1.
I live about 75 miles away because I used to only live about 10 miles away. Saw them too often.
They're in their 50's and doing fine financially, so they don't need much help from me... I'm not opposed to moving a few states away for better climes.
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lol... +1.
I live about 75 miles away because I used to only live about 10 miles away. Saw them too often.
They're in their 50's and doing fine financially, so they don't need much help from me... I'm not opposed to moving a few states away for better climes.
Um.. you don't have a greater than 500 miles and less than 1000 miles option.
This is where I am.
Once my parents get to the point where care is needed, we will be much closer.
My parents-in-law are only about 150 miles away, though.
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I live within 25 miles of my entire family, except for two cousins who live in Northern MI. I have a piece of property just 12 miles from them. :lol:
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well, i'm a bit younger and i still live with my dad and my mom only lives about ten miles away.
i have a feeling that when dad gets to that point he'll be pretty close by and as for mom, well, i'm not sure i really care (no, really, i care, but i doubt she is going very far either)
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You need a tighter option between less than 500 and more than 1000.
Until 2006, my parents lived about 200 miles away, but in 2006 my dad's company transferred him to Mobile, so now they're about 1000 miles away. At 58, they're hardly in their twilight years and my brother is nearby, but the hope is they'll move closer after retirement. That's a possibility since our entire family is here on the East Coast.
My grandparents (dad's dad and mom's mom) are the bigger issue since they're in their late 70s, but they're only 5hrs from here and both have a child and other relatives living near enough to help if needed. Also, since they didn't live like hermits, they have friends and neighbors who they are friendly with and can receive help from if necessary (and provide help to when needed as well).
Chris
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You need a tighter option between less than 500 and more than 1000.
Yes, there's a lot of space missing there.
I live a bit over 500 miles from my parents. It's close enough to make in an 8 hour drive.
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Close to 3000 miles here. See 'em once a year or so.
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Hm, I live about 5-6 kilometers from my parents. For now. Always looking to move somewhere more exciting.
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Hm, I live about 5-6 kilometers from my parents. For now. Always looking to move somewhere more exciting.
Well, I have a spare bedroom here in Kansas City... =)
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I'm about 180 miles from my Dad and 1300 miles from my mom.
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Well, I have a spare bedroom here in Kansas City... =)
Thanks, but at this point (no Green Card) I'd have to wetback, and I'm not interested in that :laugh:.
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Thanks, but at this point (no Green Card) I'd have to wetback, and I'm not interested in that :laugh:.
That'd be a hell of a swim.....
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I live about 1800ish miles from my family. I choose to live here in large part because it's so far from them.
Exactly. I picked "more than 1000 miles", because it was the nearest option. I am actually about 900 miles away, over a significant mountain pass. And I like it that way.
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That'd be a hell of a swim.....
Duh! I'd build a raft of course! =D
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waters cold too and deep
i mtried to get dad to let me build him a place on my lot or an empty one a 3 lots away
he said no :angel:
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I live 200 miles from my parents and about 140 miles from my inlaws. In Iowa we don't use miles so my parents are 3 hours away and my inlaws are 2 1/2 hours away.
From 1998-2006 my folks moved around alot with my Dad's company, shortest distance for almost 8 years was 500 miles.
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After Mom died Dad bought 2 acres next to me and built a house and a shop building then married a woman that lives in Iowa. He now spends most of his time in Iowa.
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Sorry about the gap folks.
Point is, how many of us are actually close enough to help our parents or even know what their situation is? We have become a fragmented society, where in the past, people pretty much stuck close to home. I separated from my family by choice as have a few of you I see. If the need arose I would take my Mother in, but at this point she chooses to live in that big old house alone and even refused the County Nursing Assoc. visits I set up for here. Her statement was, "I'll just stay here and die in my own home since you kids don't care enough to come visit!" Which of course is not true, but she wants to believe it is.
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Point is, how many of us are actually close enough to help our parents or even know what their situation is?
I think technology has mitigated that to an extent. While I don't see my folks in person as often as I'd like, between teleconferencing over the Internet, digital pics, cellphones that let us chat at a moment's notice, etc, we stay in contact more often than we did with other family members when those technologies weren't available (as recently as 1995ish).
Chris
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Less than 25 feet... we live in an adjacent condo! I like it, I love my parents, we eat dinner on sundays, and we watch eachothers dogs all the time, it's pretty convenient. I helped get their driveway clean this morning.
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My whole family (pretty much... all of my best friends, too) is in Michigan, I'm here in Austin for graduate school.
But, I'm just a young-un; my parents aren't retired, so I don't really have to worry about taking care of them, at least not for another 15 years or so.
But, I have really good relationships with both of my parents, so I head up to Michigan twice a year at least and phone them every week or so.
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Less than 25 feet... we live in an adjacent condo! I like it, I love my parents, we eat dinner on sundays, and we watch eachothers dogs all the time, it's pretty convenient. I helped get their driveway clean this morning.
I would love that, but my wife and the rest of our families would kill me if I moved us to Alabama. Back when they lived in Roanoke, I was desperately trying to find a job there. Would've been nice to be in the same town as my folks and in-laws, especially with the kids. I've been tempted to move to Knoxville since it's only 4hrs from Roanoke (we're 4hrs away on this side), but would be only 8hrs from my folks. However, we would be 8hrs from my wife's extended family in the Richmond area and 8hrs from my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. No easy way to do it as long as my folks are in Mobile. :(
Chris
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Almost exactly 180 miles (179 and some change) door to door.
It drives me insane that I'm so far from Mom, especially in winter.
She called me a few weeks ago and her boiler had quit. It was all I could do to keep from hopping in the car and running up.
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"but my wife and the rest of our families would kill me if I moved us to Alabama."
But you guys would fit in so well in Alabammy! Michelle and the miggits are barefoot most of the time and Michelle and Abby have that lovely souther drawl...
You'd have to work on yours, though... :laugh:
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I live about 3.5 miles from my parents. They own about 25 acres and my father is in his late 60s. It is hard for them to take care of the property without my help. So when my Ex and I got a house we got one close by.
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You'd have to work on yours, though... :laugh:
Oddly enough, I spent much of my life further south than Shell.
Chris
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Sorry about the gap folks.
Point is, how many of us are actually close enough to help our parents or even know what their situation is? We have become a fragmented society, where in the past, people pretty much stuck close to home. I separated from my family by choice as have a few of you I see. If the need arose I would take my Mother in, but at this point she chooses to live in that big old house alone and even refused the County Nursing Assoc. visits I set up for here. Her statement was, "I'll just stay here and die in my own home since you kids don't care enough to come visit!" Which of course is not true, but she wants to believe it is.
Because they didn't have much choice. Travel was expensive etc. That argument holds no water to me. If your Mom (or the old vet from the thread) wants help it's a phone call away.
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Biological father lives about 1500 miles away in a place I would rather he not live. Laredo Texas is too dangerous and even moreso since he spends a lot of time in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. Step father is in Florida and since Mom passed last August he is talking abput moving closer to family. Neither of my them have family living close to them. Wifes parents are 250 miles from us. They have family all around them.
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I try to get up to Mom's at least several times a year and do what I can to help out.
So far my greatest accomplishments have been cleaning out the basement a couple of years ago when Dad was still alive, and then last year making the interior storm windows, which have really cut down on the drafts in that place.
I also ran a new electrical line into Mom's office for the air conditioner this summer. That was a real chore, but of everything I've done I think that was the most rewarding.
I've also done a lot of smaller jobs. This spring I want to make a couple of raise planting beds by the shed.
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I'm in DFW, my folks are in Scottsdale, executing a long, extended move to ABQ.
When I was looking to leave California, I really wanted to end back up in AZ, but the real estate markit was really messed up, so I chose DFW instead.
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Can one establish/measure the distance to Heaven or Hell? I'm pretty sure one of them is in Hell the other is a toss up.
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160 miles from my mom, 175 from my father-in-law. One of the reasons we left Illinois (besides the obvious), was to be close enough to help. Just in time, too. My dad had a long illness, and then passed away. I was close enough to be there when needed. Still travel at least once every other week to do yard work, etc.
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3000 miles. =( It is tough, as my dad is having some serious health issues. Fortunately, my brother is within easy driving distance.
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About five miles nearly due South at the moment to my parents' house. My in-laws were about the same distance Northeast until last year. FIL passed away last Spring and MIL moved up the the Kentucky hills, where her oldest lives, just before Winter.
The farthest I've ever lived from my parents, excluding my time in the Army, was about three hundred fifty miles when I lived in Ft. Walton Beach FL and they were, as they have been and will be, here on the Southside of Atlanta.
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About 100 miles of winding roads, AKA close by but far enough away to keep my mom from showing up un-announced. =D
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It's only about 15 feet from the basement to their floor of the house...
JK, I'm about 50 miles now, but moving closer to 675 as the crow flies in a couple weeks.
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How many of us live close enough to our parents to actually help them in their end years or an emergency?
Ping! All of us kids are within 30 miles. Mom died last year, Dad is 78 and alone on the farm (but with grandkids 5 miles away that visit frequently).
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You should put this poll up at THR. You'll need a "I'm posting from my bedroom in my mom's house" option, though. =D
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I live 200 miles from my parents and about 140 miles from my inlaws. In Iowa we don't use miles so my parents are 3 hours away and my inlaws are 2 1/2 hours away.
From 1998-2006 my folks moved around alot with my Dad's company, shortest distance for almost 8 years was 500 miles.
Some of us in Minnesota don't use miles either. My Mom lives around three and a half hours away, and my girlfriend's family is a little less than two. That's about 200 and 100 miles respectively.
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need a basement option for the wookies
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back in the old days we classified trips as a 6 pack or a six pack and a half sometime a 12 pack and a nap
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Got a message from my brother saying that my grand niece who ripped my Mother off two years ago may finally go to jail for probation violation from the charges two years ago, and the Asst. DA knew nothing about the most recent rip offs the grand niece did recently, which my brother filed charges on.
So much for justice working with any speed or fairness.
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Can one establish/measure the distance to Heaven or Hell? I'm pretty sure one of them is in Hell the other is a toss up.
One of the groomsman at my wedding has two deceased grandmothers. He refers to them as "good grandma" and "burning grandma."
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I'm at about 6 miles. With a baby on the way, it's nice to know that cheap child care and a place for the kid to play in the country is close by.
We have 10 acres adjoining her 120 where we hope to build someday.
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My parents still live in Alaska, and I live in Florida. And that wasn't an accident. Our relationship is much better now. Of course my parents are still pretty nimble. I wouldn't mind moving back to AK, but I'd want at least 20 or so miles between us. No popping in unannounced.
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Almost the opposite of dogmush. My parents and brother are living in florida, I'm living in North Dakota. Of course, I'm in the USAF, so I live where they tell me to.
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It's 3 miles from the doorstep of my house to the doorstep of their house. This wasn't planned specifically, it's just that when my wife and I were looking for a house this was where we found a pretty good deal.
Fortunately I get along fine with my parents.
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My wifes mother lives next door to us, adjoining lots. She is 86 years old and in good health. It is working out great. If her mother needs anything, just walk next door. Saves gas.
For 13 years her mother lived in Florida, 1500 miles away, and I was was always afraid that her mother would get sick or something and my wife would be going back ther to take care of her, since she was the only one that would be willing to.
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I chose less than 25 miles because I'm 17 and a highschool student, ergo I live with my father. My mom has been dead 11 years.
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About 426 miles currently, according to Google Maps.
It may be less in the future, depending on where I get a job after I graduate. They're moving to the family farm after they retire, which is near (within 50 miles) where most of my job opportunities will probably be, though it's very possible I could end up moving to a different state entirely.
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When my parents were alive they were 30 miles away. I also have two brothers within the same distance or less. Came in handy when my mom's health deteriorated followed by my dad's. My in-laws now live only 3 miles away, (was 50). The Mrs is an only and this is sure handier. They are in their mid 80's.
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I'm about 200 feet from my mom and stepdad. We own houses directly across the street form each other. Their driveway is the view from my living room window. (I caught a kid "watering" their fence once) Biodad is on a different continent. My wife's mother just moved into town a few months ago and is now about two miles away.
Phone calls are nice and all, but they cannot take the place of grankids knowing what grandmas look like and actually being happy to see them in the absence of presents.
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My folks live about an hour and twenty minutes away, up north in McMinnville. They are coming to lunch tomorrow, in fact.
The inlaws are ~3000 miles east in NC. That makes it hard on my wife, of course, as she'd like to be closer.
All of our folks are good people, and good inlaws respectively.