Post by: El Tejon on December 09, 2005, 02:52:58 AM
Yesterday tragedy hit the Wabash Valley--it snowed hurting women and minorities hardest.
As a minority, I'm English-American, I was hit as it snowed at my house and George Bush did not appear to shovel it off the driveway or the walks! FEMA did not appear. I received no food handouts and had to cook my own dinner--fresh salmon and almonds with steamed carrots. I had no water to drink so I was forced to drink a Back Road blueberry ale. The horror.
I loaded several magazines for my M1A to shoot at passing helicopters but no helicopters appeared. There is only one conclusion to draw from this: George Bush doesn't care about minority people!
Post by: garrettwc on December 09, 2005, 03:11:37 AM
Post by: Ben on December 09, 2005, 04:03:58 AM
Post by: Chris on December 09, 2005, 05:05:05 AM
Post by: charby on December 09, 2005, 05:41:09 AM
Charby
Post by: The Rabbi on December 09, 2005, 05:48:48 AM
Post by: onions! on December 09, 2005, 05:58:24 AM
I could have used a helo drop of bottled water.
No one came.
Post by: Moondoggie on December 09, 2005, 06:24:28 AM
Blocking my in my property so that others can navigate the streets....what discrimination!!!!!
How come there's no news crew to interview me in my hour of abject need?
Post by: El Tejon on December 09, 2005, 06:29:15 AM
garrett, the mayor of Lafayette, Tony Roswarski, has not yet appeared from his underground command center. His father, who lives across the street from me, had to remove his own snow. No doubt he used a FEMA-supplied snowblower.
Ben, have been too busy to loot. I have some free time in April 2006 if I do not go to NYC. I'll ensure to put looting on the calendar.
cas, no doubt immediate federal litigation is required. Have you filed for an injunction against your supervisor yet? Perhaps you have a claim under the ADA and ADGDEFMA (Americans demanding government do everything for me Act)?
charby, courage, brother. Fight the power!
Rabbi, of course, our Southern brothers should not be shorted their right to a large check, er, I mean justice.
41mag, did you fire your pistol into the air as you shouted for help?
Moon, you are a victim too. Call FEMA for your debit card without delay.
Post by: garrettwc on December 09, 2005, 06:54:26 AM
Quote
Not only did I not receive any assistance from the gov't......the gov't snowplow came down my street and sealed my driveway with an impassable barrier!!!
You need one of these:http://snowblower.web.aplus.net/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/mvi_4331.avi
Post by: charby on December 09, 2005, 07:02:11 AM
Courage? I now have to hand shovel 5" of snow when I get home. I need strength when I get home. I am so oppressed, my neighbor's snowblower started, I feel like a major injustice has occured, I want my 2K Visa Card so I can purchase another JD snowblower, this time with electric start, so I don't pull my arm out of socket trying to pull start a 10hp in sub freezing temperature.
Waaa Waaa give me money, maybe I need to vote democrat for now on.
Charby
Post by: El Tejon on December 09, 2005, 07:04:10 AM
garrett, you mean, of course, that FEMA should buy one for Moon, right?
Post by: El Tejon on December 09, 2005, 07:07:11 AM
I nominate myself as chair and you all can be on the commission. We will fly immediately to the Virgin Islands to study and make our recommendations to FEMA. The feds will pick up the tab, of course, as we are victims and are owed.
Post by: garrettwc on December 09, 2005, 07:55:12 AM
Quote
*AHEM!*
garrett, you mean, of course, that FEMA should buy one for Moon, right?
Of course. Thanks for the correction.garrett, you mean, of course, that FEMA should buy one for Moon, right?
And no private charitable organizations are allowed to help him shovel. They don't understand the severity and logistics involved in a disaster of this scale.
Post by: ...has left the building. on December 09, 2005, 08:28:07 AM
Post by: charby on December 09, 2005, 08:32:21 AM
Now I need more money to remove the coffee from my keyboard and monitor.
Charby
Post by: Moondoggie on December 09, 2005, 09:33:44 AM
"Chance favors the prepared mind!"
Post by: charby on December 09, 2005, 10:19:32 AM
Post by: SADShooter on December 09, 2005, 10:27:41 AM
Post by: Chris on December 09, 2005, 10:33:07 AM
Post by: Moondoggie on December 09, 2005, 10:52:13 AM
And MY snowblower started when yours just sat there taking up space. If you hook a chain to it, you'd have a dandy boat anchor!
Neener neener neener!
Betcha I get my gov't $ before you do...mine shows up on the 1st of every month!
Post by: charby on December 09, 2005, 12:05:57 PM
My Dad is one of those guys that climbed 65' electrical poles with hooks. Still does every once in a while but would rather avoid it if possible. Ditto on being a teenager in my house.
I'll get the cord put back on tonight, the John Deere will blow snow again. Then I'll have bragging rights in this pissing match.
Charby
Post by: Moondoggie on December 09, 2005, 12:14:48 PM
Randy
Post by: Larry Ashcraft on December 09, 2005, 12:15:58 PM
Quote from: charby
Then I'll have bragging rights in this pissing match.
Charby
HA!Charby
When I get to my home computer I'll show you what I move snow with.
And I have to buy my own diesel fuel, so I need a check too. (Hey it snowed 2.5 inches the other night.) It was ten below zero yesterday morning and I had to get up and put wood on the fire myself. And I had to cut and split the wood myself too.
Post by: Lennyjoe on December 09, 2005, 01:11:26 PM
Post by: Larry Ashcraft on December 09, 2005, 02:43:35 PM
Post by: El Tejon on December 10, 2005, 06:01:21 AM
Last night I was snuggled up close with my snow bunny, both to combat Global Warming and because George Bush is plotting to cut off our heat, last night watching a movie when I hear the city snow trucks finally plowing my subdivision. BANG! They run into Heather the Neighbor's Monte Carlo!
The mayor is a Democrat, Heather the Neighbor is a Democrat! No doubt what happened is this: Dick Cheney and Donal Rumsfeld parachuted into Lafayette, Indiana wearing full black tactical gear they used their finely honed ninja skills to subdue the city workers and drive the plows themselves thus undercutting the local Democrat effort to combat Chimpy's planned snowstorm.
Further, I took my SUV into the mechanic to have him give it the once over as winter is just a couple of weeks away. He find that the radiator needs to be replaced! No doubt when Cheney ran into Heather's Monte Carlo, Rumsfeld snuck into my garage using his ninja skills to pick my Medeco locks on the man doors and attack my SUV!
While George Bush sits in his Southern manor along the Potomac plotting how on where to strike next, minorities (me) and women (Heather) continue to suffer. How can Chimpy live with himself?
Post by: El Tejon on December 10, 2005, 06:03:36 AM
You are owed a check as well!:D
Post by: jefnvk on December 10, 2005, 10:32:18 AM
Post by: mtnbkr on December 10, 2005, 11:13:51 AM
Does that mean I qualify as "disabled"?
Chris
Post by: grampster on December 10, 2005, 11:23:31 AM
Post by: Nathaniel Firethorn on December 10, 2005, 11:32:46 AM
I want the government to make it snow on the days I'd prefer, and to make it not snow on the other days.
Who needs Santa Claus when you've got the government?
- NF
Post by: Fly320s on December 10, 2005, 12:44:17 PM
You need to apply for the Specified-Date Precipitation (Snow) Program. It's really easy. Just go down to your nearest Federal Precipitation Office and fill out the SDP(S)P form, in triplicate. DO NOT fill out the SPS(D)P form as that is for Selected-Persons Saliva (Dispersment) Program. You don't want that.
Post by: brimic on December 10, 2005, 10:10:53 PM
Post by: erik the bold on December 11, 2005, 03:07:33 AM
Quote
I'd be glad if on any given morning, I only had to shovel 3" of snow.
+1 JefnvkWe had 10"+ on Thursday night/Friday morning, we've had another 4" Saturday night, and it's still snowing hard here on Sunday morning. Instead of going out with the muzzy, I've got to go and plow out the driveway again. At this rate, I'll need a subsidy for gas in the ATV and food stamps to make up for the missed deer. Hell, just give me one or three of them thar FEMA debit cards, that oughta help.....
Post by: telewinz on December 11, 2005, 08:36:06 AM
Post by: wmenorr67 on December 11, 2005, 08:52:07 AM
Post by: charby on December 12, 2005, 04:50:02 AM
I also want a mandate that the snow plow guy not push the snow over my side walk. 3" snow turns in to 18" on my side walk.
Nice Deere Larry! Someday I'm going to have a green tractor too, but a different flavor, Oliver.
Charby
Post by: El Tejon on December 12, 2005, 04:59:24 AM
I suspect the Haliburton Weather Machine is acting up!
Chimpy has unleashed another assault on us. It is going to warm up and rain, drowning women and minorities and giving us a Brown Christmas! The horror of Bush!
Post by: Lennyjoe on December 13, 2005, 04:55:37 PM
Post by: charby on December 14, 2005, 07:37:11 AM
Post by: El Tejon on December 14, 2005, 08:53:27 AM
Only one explanation--George Bush. No doubt the Haliburton Weather Machine operated by Dick Cheney has it's dial stuck between two different settings. It can only hurt women and minorities.
Post by: charby on December 14, 2005, 09:16:46 AM
All the outside surfaces get covered with tiny little hair like ice crystals, looks like something out of a Tim Burton film.
Charby
Post by: brimic on December 14, 2005, 02:34:51 PM