Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: roo_ster on June 07, 2010, 01:27:59 PM
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:O
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"Prison smuggling: authorities are determined to get to the bottom of it"
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/829679-police-astonished-by-rectal-capacity-of-prison-smuggler
Authorities in Wenatchee, Washington, were surprised to find that the man had managed to sneak a cigarette lighter, cigarette papers, a bag of tobacco the size of a golf-ball, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a small baggie of what was thought to be marijuana, and an inch-long smoking pipe into jail by hiding them up himself.
The man was booked into the jail last Wednesday on a disorderly conduct charge, said Chelan County Regional Justice Center administrator Phil Stanley, and nothing was discovered when he was initially strip searched.
But when a prison official later discovered a plastic bag and duct tape in the toilet, the prisoner was questioned again and eventually handed over the contraband.
Wenatchee Police Department spokesman Sergeant John Kruse told the Wenatchee World newspaper: 'We were all wondering, "How do you put all that up there?" The tobacco was pretty impressive; it was a good ounce.'
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"Prison smuggling: authorities are determined to get to the bottom of it">:D
Man he had contraband out the wazoo...
=D
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Time for my ten-foot pole with which I would not touch this thread.
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Winner!
Keep the watch.
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So wait.
Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?
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So wait.
Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?
Every time my aunt goes to jail she hides pills up herself. I imagine from the stories that I've heard that she has plenty of room.
I'm not sure how she'd handle the heroin stuff now that she's moved on to harder drugs.
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And needles. I realize they were in some kind of wrapping, but had something gone wrong, he'd have died in horrible suffering.
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And needles. I realize they were in some kind of wrapping, but had something gone wrong, he'd have died in horrible suffering.
Yea, I cringed at that.
Heck, maybe he was using a fancy hard carrying case.
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Yea, I cringed at that.
Heck, maybe he was using a fancy hard carrying case.
I remember reading Papillon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papillon_%28autobiography%29) when I was young. The prisoners in the book had little aluminium tubes shoved up their butts to bring money with them to the prison islands...(supposed true story according to the author, others have serious doubts about it).
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I remember reading Papillon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papillon_%28autobiography%29) when I was young. The prisoners in the book had little aluminium tubes shoved up their butts to bring money with them to the prison islands...(supposed true story according to the author, others have serious doubts about it).
I rectum it's do-able however, I don't think aluminiumium had yet been invented in Papillion's time. :P =D
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Hey Azrael256...
"ECHO! Echo! Echo! Echo! Echo..." :laugh:
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:O
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"Prison smuggling: authorities are determined to get to the bottom of it"
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/829679-police-astonished-by-rectal-capacity-of-prison-smuggler
a cigarette lighter, cigarette papers, a bag of tobacco the size of a golf-ball, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a small baggie of what was thought to be marijuana, and an inch-long smoking pipe into jail
Is that all he had? Seriously, I have observed folks who had a whole lot more and passed the "squat & cough" test,[
'We were all wondering, "How do you put all that up there?"
Hint: do not use vaseline. And apparently as long as you are not bouncing up and down on a hard surface you are not likely to perforate your intestine/rectum.
What this inquiring mind wants to know is how long it took him to train out the involuntary muscle responses to such stimuli?
stay safe.
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Hey Azrael256...
"ECHO! Echo! Echo! Echo! Echo..."
As this is a family forum, I won't expound on just how I know this, but inmates have smuggled some surprisingly large objects... Er... "Up there.". A golf ball is considered a "small" object.
Btw, the "official" CO-speak is "keistering," at least around here.
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What this inquiring mind wants to know is how long it took him to train out the involuntary muscle responses to such stimuli?
I imagine that if he's been to prison before he's had "assistance" with that issue.
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I don't expect this thread to end well. It stinks like....like....POOPY!
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Brings a whole new understanding to Prince Albert in a can.
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So wait.
Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?
-What's in this sh.., man?
-Mostly maui-wovee, man, but it's got some Labrador in it...
-What's Labrador?
-It's dogsh.....
-Wha?
-Yea, my dog ate my stash, man... Left it on the table, the little m....f...r ate it, man...
-Yeah?
-So I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I got it back... Really blew the dog's mind...
-You mean we're smokin' dogsh.., man?
-I think it's even better than before.
-Wonder what Great Dane taste like, man... Wow, man... That's some heavy sh.., man
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So wait.
Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?
I am savoring this moment. Something so wacked even MB is put off. =D
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I am savoring this moment. Something so wacked even MB is put off. =D
That's some heavy s4, man... :)
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I guess coffee isn't banned in many prisons, otherwise the Kopi Luwak market would be much bigger.
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I remember reading Papillon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papillon_%28autobiography%29) when I was young. The prisoners in the book had little aluminium tubes shoved up their butts to bring money with them to the prison islands...(supposed true story according to the author, others have serious doubts about it).
It was quite the interesting book indeed.
I rectum it's do-able however, I don't think aluminiumium had yet been invented in Papillion's time. :P =D
I'm pretty sure it was around in the thirties to forties during which the book takes place.
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What units are used for measuring rectal capacity?
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This thread is heading to a dark, dark place.
But anyway, when DID they invent aluminum?
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What units are used for measuring rectal capacity?
Fluid Owwwwwww!nces
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This thread is heading to a dark, dark place.
As I understand it, this thread is about a dark, dark place.
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Do you know how many times I saw this thread title, and read it as "rental capacity"??
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This thread is heading to a dark, dark place.
But anyway, when DID they invent aluminum?
Pure aluminum was first produced in 1825.
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Pure aluminum was first produced in 1825.
Research says the first impure aluminum was first produced in 1825.
At first it was more valuable than gold. I seem to remember some founding father having a set of flatware made out of it - it was considered 'more posh' than gold, but the timeline wouldn't really support that.
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Research says the first impure aluminum was first produced in 1825.
At first it was more valuable than gold. I seem to remember some founding father having a set of flatware made out of it - it was considered 'more posh' than gold, but the timeline wouldn't really support that.
Napoleon III supposedly had some reserved for special guests.
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I have heard that the Wash. monument is capped with aluminum, due to its rarity at the time. I've never bothered to look into it.
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I have heard that the Wash. monument is capped with aluminum, due to its rarity at the time. I've never bothered to look into it.
That is indeed the case. I found it while researching. At the time an ounce of it was worth more than a day of a worker's time.
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That is indeed the case. I found it while researching. At the time an ounce of it was worth more than a day of a worker's time.
Indeed, it's been told that at the time aluminum had about the same value as silver.
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As I understand it, this thread is about a dark, dark place.
So someone got the joke, after all.