Post by: K Frame on February 07, 2006, 02:51:01 PM
He had to go to a Barney the Dinosaur show this evening...
Hey, Fatboy, how many pterodactyls am I holding up?
Post by: Felonious Monk/Fignozzle on February 07, 2006, 03:16:23 PM
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
Won't you say you love...me...too.
Barney is the Antichrist, and I have proof:
Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
Prove: Barney is satanic
The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for
printing, meaning the Roman representation would for
Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
Extracting the Roman numerals, we have:
CV V L DI V
And their decimal equivalents are:
100 5 5 50 500 1 5
Adding those numbers produces: 666.
666 is the number of the Beast.
Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN!
Post by: 280plus on February 07, 2006, 04:17:33 PM
LOL...
Hey I survived several "Sesame Street Live" shows, how bad can Barney be?
Post by: cosine on February 07, 2006, 04:19:49 PM
Post by: Felonious Monk/Fignozzle on February 07, 2006, 04:30:08 PM
Found it here: http://www.comedycorner.org/20.html
Post by: cosine on February 07, 2006, 04:40:47 PM
Post by: LawDog on February 07, 2006, 05:08:08 PM
I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's tie Barney to a tree.
Take a great big shotgun,
Shoot him in the head.
Oops, I'm sorry,
Barney's dead!
I hate, loathe, and despise that prehistoric purple pervert.
My nieces and nephews used to think he was just the greatest.
That thing is diabetes on the hoof. Thirty minutes of that saccharin putz would turn anyones brain into tapioca.
I'm pretty sure that The Hague has things to say about purple dinosaurs regarding human rights violations.
Yack.
LawDog
Post by: Brad Johnson on February 07, 2006, 05:18:42 PM
Brad
Post by: Felonious Monk/Fignozzle on February 07, 2006, 05:45:54 PM
Post by: mtnbkr on February 07, 2006, 05:48:59 PM
Chris
Post by: stevelyn on February 07, 2006, 06:28:04 PM
You hate me
Au-to-ma-tic weapon-ry
I have one and you have none
So I think you better run
Post by: Azrael256 on February 07, 2006, 06:31:12 PM
"Fair enough!"
Post by: Brad Johnson on February 07, 2006, 07:01:30 PM
(sorry, I'm a little giddy from lack of sleep. I'm not real sure why I remembered that...)
Brad
Post by: Antibubba on February 07, 2006, 07:01:47 PM
I lost a lung that day, from laughing.
Post by: Nathaniel Firethorn on February 07, 2006, 07:08:22 PM
You love me,
That's called best-i-al-i-ty...
- NF, deftly dodging a #10 cast-iron skillet skillfully thrown by Art's grandma...
Post by: cosine on February 07, 2006, 07:10:27 PM
Post by: K Frame on February 07, 2006, 07:46:50 PM
You were probably the envy of every father there...
"Dammit, why didn't I leave my number at the office?"
Post by: Guest on February 07, 2006, 08:14:27 PM
I agree 200% !!
Speaking of shotguns...
When I assisted with ladies, especially moms, we shot at Barney Targets, Barney Balloons,Barney anything and when child "finally" outgrew that purple putz - we shot cassette tapes.
"You try being a single mom on a car trip and listening to Barney for 5 hours".
Folks, that lady not only emptied all 6 rounds from a K frame into a cassette tape - she blew the living crap out of Barney Doll with a 20 ga 1100..." I still see a speck of purple...more ammo...hurry!"
Yeah so I instruct different - it works.
I hate the Bee Gees, long running joke and shooting BeeGees related stuff. Has to do with me getting the keys to a juke box, taking all the platters of Bee Gees Music out of it.
[Note : Why in the hell would two gals from Ohio come to TX and stick money into a TX juke-box is beyond me. They looked smart, acted smart, real pretty too, but when Jerry Jeff Walker ended and the BeeGees came on...all she wrote...a man gotta do what a man gotta do]
Then we took the 45 records [round vinyl disks music was recorded on for the young'uns in the audience] and shot them the next day on a shotgun range.
This was in TX mind you. Seems the Juke-Box -guy was from NJ originally, asked what happened to the BeeGees in the juke-box. We told him the truth, I removed them and we shot them.
He stepped back, eyed me, realized I was not kidding.
I offered to pay...he decided "normal wear and tear".
Hey, I/We got to pick some new tunes and get the selection changed on that thing.
That guy never again serviced that joint and juke-box. See why folks accept me in TX?
BA/UU/R - some stuff deserves to be shot repeatedly . Oh the original idea may not be "practice" just a great by product thereof.
BTW I recommend for Purple Putz's : 12 ga slugs, 45 ACP and 45-70 , takes care of shotgun, handgun and rifle selections in case folks were wondering...Proven by me.
Post by: Harold Tuttle on February 07, 2006, 08:44:26 PM
http://www.thewiggles.com.au/index2.html
ewwwww
Post by: Omega on February 07, 2006, 09:44:55 PM
What ever hapened to shows like mister rogers?
Post by: 280plus on February 07, 2006, 09:50:54 PM
The more I think about it, a shot up pic of Barney is one of my earliest recollections from THR...
The version I know,,,
I hate you,
you hate me.
Why don't we all shoot Barney?
With a big loud BANG and a thud upon the floor,
no more purple dinosaur...
Yayyyyy...
Post by: Sylvilagus Aquaticus on February 07, 2006, 10:34:10 PM
Some day SWMBO and I need to meet up with you there, then go grab a Shiner and a chicken fried steak at Kelly's.
Regards,
Rabbit.
Post by: Phyphor on February 07, 2006, 10:50:53 PM
Quote from: LawDog
Sung to the Barney tune:
I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's tie Barney to a tree.
Take a great big shotgun,
Shoot him in the head.
Oops, I'm sorry,
Barney's dead!
I hate, loathe, and despise that prehistoric purple pervert.
My nieces and nephews used to think he was just the greatest.
That thing is diabetes on the hoof. Thirty minutes of that saccharin putz would turn anyones brain into tapioca.
I'm pretty sure that The Hague has things to say about purple dinosaurs regarding human rights violations.
Yack.
LawDog
BWAHAHA! We used to have a song back in '95, shortly before I graduated high school....I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's tie Barney to a tree.
Take a great big shotgun,
Shoot him in the head.
Oops, I'm sorry,
Barney's dead!
I hate, loathe, and despise that prehistoric purple pervert.
My nieces and nephews used to think he was just the greatest.
That thing is diabetes on the hoof. Thirty minutes of that saccharin putz would turn anyones brain into tapioca.
I'm pretty sure that The Hague has things to say about purple dinosaurs regarding human rights violations.
Yack.
LawDog
I hate you
You hate me
Let's hang Barney from a tree
With a knife to the guts
and a bullet to the head
Drink a beer
'coz barney's dead.
(same idea, different wording, )
Post by: mtnbkr on February 08, 2006, 01:43:30 AM
Quote from: Harold Tuttle
BTDT. Bought my daughter the overpriced t-shirt. Their live show was better than the Barney one though.280, I hate you know. That song's going to be stuck in my head all day.
Chris
Post by: 280plus on February 08, 2006, 01:48:10 AM
Quote
280, I hate you know. That song's going to be stuck in my head all day.
Yea, it's stuck in my head now too...
Post by: garrettwc on February 08, 2006, 03:49:13 AM
What about Thomas the Tank Engine? My grandkids have been wearing that one out lately.
Post by: mhdishere on February 08, 2006, 04:03:41 AM
And, to do my part:
I hate you, you hate me
We're a dysfunctional family
then a shot rings out,
Barney hits the floor
One less purple dinosaur
Give me Veggie Tales anyday, or some old classics like Bugs Bunny
Post by: SADShooter on February 08, 2006, 04:23:45 AM
"There can be only ONE..."
Post by: mtnbkr on February 08, 2006, 04:41:48 AM
Quote from: garrettwc
What about Thomas the Tank Engine? My grandkids have been wearing that one out lately.
Abby's into that as well. She even has a train and track set.Quote
He later got into the Wiggles were are almost as mind-numbing.
Actually, I like them quite a bit more than the syrupy sweetness of Barney. I've grown to appreciate them even more after reading about their backgrounds and watching how they interact with the kids during one of their concerts. Chris
Post by: K Frame on February 08, 2006, 05:24:08 AM
Post by: mtnbkr on February 08, 2006, 05:51:47 AM
Quote from: Mike Irwin
It's quite humorous to be walking the aisles at a gunshow, or standing at the counter at the gunshop, and suddenly realize that the tune mtnbkr is humming is a Wiggles tune...
That's just the insanity leaking out of my brain
Chris
Post by: K Frame on February 08, 2006, 06:14:23 AM
That shows in the friends you keep, too...
Post by: garrettwc on February 08, 2006, 08:07:31 AM
Quote
Abby's into that as well. She even has a train and track set.
My grandson got one of those for Christmas. Neat little setup, the roof of the station house comes off and you stow the tracks in there. The train cars have magnets on the end so even little 2 yr old hands can hook them together.The thing that struck me odd was the narrator for his Thomas tape was none other than George Carlin!
Post by: Stickjockey on February 08, 2006, 10:55:36 AM
Quote
The thing that struck me odd was the narrator for his Thomas tape was none other than George Carlin!
They also use Ringo Starr for some of them. So tell me; how many drugs do you have to have used in the '60's to be a kid's show narrator?
Post by: Waitone on February 08, 2006, 11:41:36 AM
I survived the Smurf's without permanent damage. . . . .except for the facial twitch. Everytime I think of Papa Smurf I break into a cold sweat.
Post by: garrettwc on February 08, 2006, 12:13:55 PM
Quote
They also use Ringo Starr for some of them. So tell me; how many drugs do you have to have used in the '60's to be a kid's show narrator?
Exactly. I have seen several instances where the people our parents warned us about are now "responsible" citizens. I remember one called Rupert the Bear or something like that. Paul McCartney was the narrator on that one.
Post by: Strings on February 08, 2006, 01:14:24 PM
- cue the opening sequence of Teletubbies, and turn the volume off. Set up a stereo with Marylin Manson's song Dope Show. 'Tubbies dance PERFECTLY to Manson!
- Teletubbies are hypnotic. I watched one of the guys stand there, completely enthralled, his brain being sucked out through his ear
- Orwell's 1984 has got NOTHIN' on the 'Tubbies. Loudspeaker comes out of the ground, tells 'em what to do, and they mindlessly do it
Post by: Harold Tuttle on February 08, 2006, 08:09:38 PM
