Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: mtnbkr on October 17, 2011, 06:36:49 AM
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What do you do when someone brings a monkey to your office?
http://phlegmfatale.blogspot.com/2011/10/in-which-mattg-said-with-simian-zeal.html
Chris
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I am not sure which bothers me more - that someone would have such an experience on their bucket list or that they would presume that others did as well. [tinfoil]
stay safe.
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Sounds like a normal day at my office.
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This Capuchin monkey thing is just creepy.
I saw a Discovery show a while ago where they treat these things like children, and call them 'forever babies'.
They belong in zoos, period.
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As an honorary [sic] member of monkey kind, I take offense to the tone of this article toward my simian brothers.
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This cracked me up:
You might give the child a pen and paper to draw, or perhaps a pack of razor blades
:laugh:
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....
If we have a monkey board at the shop, I think i'll call in sick that day.
I am also of the opinion that such creatures belong in zoo's only.
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If there was ever a monkey that needed a spanking...
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I have heard/read of them being trained to assist the handicapped.
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I have heard/read of them being trained to assist the handicapped.
So have I, but I don't recall wanking as one of the required skills. Then again, someone who is sufficiently handicapped might need some assistance...
Chris
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Leave it alone with a canister of tear gas and wait.
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Leave it alone with a canister of tear gasfragmentation hand grenade and wait.
FIFY. =D
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Masturbating Capuchin monkeys are why God created BB pistols.......
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They belong in zoos, period.
I am also of the opinion that such creatures belong in zoo's only.
How about in the wild?
The Capuchin service critters I have seen, one in person and a few others on film, have been amazingly disciplined, focused very tightly on their task, and not a problem.
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"No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey"
http://youtu.be/dUyOUvY651c
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I, too, have a monkey story I may regale y'all with later. I hate the little effers.
Me: Ma'am, please control your pet.
LM: <prattles on and does nothing to restrain monkey>
Me: Ma'am, restrain your monkey or I will tack it to my desk with my utility knife. <takes our folding knife>
LM: <excited squawking, but no monkey-restraining>
Me: <follows through>
I have, of late, encountered owners who deign not to control their nasty little pets around my kids and let them chase and menace my kids on sidewalks, streets, and on to my own property. Next time, Fluffy gets a steel toe to the ribs and (hopefully) an abbreviated time on Earth.
Damned illegals and their retarded culture.
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I, too, have a monkey story I may regale y'all with later. I hate the little effers.
Me: Ma'am, please control your pet.
LM: <prattles on and does nothing to restrain monkey>
Me: Ma'am, restrain your monkey or I will tack it to my desk with my utility knife. <takes our folding knife>
LM: <excited squawking, but no monkey-restraining>
Me: <follows through>
I have, of late, encountered owners who deign not to control their nasty little pets around my kids and let them chase and menace my kids on sidewalks, streets, and on to my own property. Next time, Fluffy gets a steel toe to the ribs and (hopefully) an abbreviated time on Earth.
???
I was with you until here:
Damned illegals and their retarded culture.
How's that related?
Chris
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The obvious answer is that the monkey in the story was NOT a service monkey. The lady was lying.
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Just depends on what corner of the country you live in, Chris.
I've been chased by a little $hitbag yappy terrier while out for a morning run a couple times. Damned annoying. I'm running, listening to my mp3 player, then all of a sudden yippie the fleabag is yapping at my ankles trying to bite my shoelaces. I turn to kick and yippie is faster than my reflexes. I can't outrun it, and I can't kick it because it's faster than me in every possible way. Ultimately it left me alone after about 2 blocks of this behavior. Tempted to pull the PF9 on it, but didn't want the hassle. If I were a kid, I'd be terrified, though.
Dog belongs to a Mexican household that doesn't do a good job keeping it inside or in the backyard. No tags on it. I know which house. Got money for rims for a flashy SUV, but not enough to license the dog and repair the hole in the fence from whence it emerges.
Illegals? Probably. It's Mesa (damned close to a sanctuary city as far as AZ is concerned), they're hispanic, and it's about a 30% shot that any hispanic person in AZ is an illegal alien (there's about half a million in our State as residents, and untold numbers "passing through" to the north). There's 6.3 million people in AZ, and 29% of them (1.8 million) are hispanic.
Source: http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/04000.html
And that's out of people that bother to answer the census, and aren't just migrating through AZ on their way to CO/UT/NV/OR/WA/ID/etc. Never mind that many (most?) illegals don't answer the census, and that number could be 40-50%. Arizona is one of 4 gateway States for the entire illegal immigrant train, and those 12 million illegals came through one of four States at some point.
Might not run into that in VA or wherever it is that you live, but illegals bring poorly maintained lives with them. Nasty anklebiting dogs being one of those things.
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The obvious answer is that the monkey in the story was NOT a service monkey. The lady was lying.
But it could be a servicing monkey. [barf]
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<snip>
Might not run into that in VA or wherever it is that you live, but illegals bring poorly maintained lives with them. Nasty anklebiting dogs being one of those things.
Interesting. We have a ton of Hispanics, legal and otherwise, in my area, but they all seem to keep their dogs on leashes. I seldom (ie once or twice a year) see unleashed dogs about. Of those, only two in the ten years I've been here were not with their owners.
Chris
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The obvious answer is that the monkey in the story was NOT a service monkey. The lady was lying.
Absolutely.
But the "service animal" thing is easy to get away with. When I worked at Wal-Mart I was specifically briefed that if somebody said an animal of ANY type was a service animal, we could not question them. So someone could bring their pet in and say it was a service animal and we couldn't say boo. We didn't really have any problem with it because that was not widely known. I don't know if there was a similar policy at other big box stores.
We do have a real problem at work with people bringing their dogs into the visitor center. Generally it's the people who think their little ratdogs are like their children.
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Could always get a Vietnamese family to move in. Take care of stray animal problem for you.
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AZR44 could have been describing both my area and the family/families cohabitating with the ankle biters in question.
Two mini-dachs and one fluffy critter, all of which are brought out into the un-fenced front yard without a leash. No biggie for a well-behaved dog, but these regularly make a bee-line for folks walking by on the sidewalk.
A couple times when my kids & I were walking by. Once when my daughter rode by on her little bike with training wheels, once when my son was scootering by on his...scooter. This last time, fluffy dog chased him back to our yard and the beast suck its head through my picket fence to yap and snarl. I could have ended it right there with one kick to the side of its head & snapped its neck on the picket, but I am too much a softy. Next time, Fluffy gets to meet its Dear and Fluffy Lord.
This household has adults & near-adults without English skills, not to mention the human ankle-biters, and exhibits other traits common (if not solely peculiar to) illegal aliens. This is not the first time with dog-control problems for this household and other similar households regularly show such traits(1). No, not every dog problem is the fault of illegals 'round here, but illegals' have a disproportionate number of them.
This is most likely a cultural artifact brought from Mexico. If you have spent time down by the border or with many Mexicans near their homes, you would know what I mean.
I have no problem criticizing such "diversity" as culturally retarded. Putting a man on the moon and shoving a bone through one's nose are not equivalent.
Funny thing is, if I were expressing disdain for white trash culture instead of brown trash culture, nary a peep would have been made about my commentary on their culture.
Could always get a Vietnamese family to move in. Take care of stray animal problem for you.
BTDT, never asked what was in the wonderful dish they served me, but it sure wasn't chicken.
(1) One of many for this household: they get a cutesy APBT pup. Through their TLC, it grows into a nasty, vicious SOB and menaced their next door neighbor through/over 4' chain fence. Neighbor calls cops and tells them next time, he shoots the nasty SOB, as he is on blood thinners and can not risk getting bit and bleeding out in record time. Cops & animal control examine the situation and tell them to deal with the dog, RFN. The APBT was lucky, as half of their dogs never make it to adulthood, dying off due to preventable disease, getting out and getting lost (and likely eaten by coyotes).
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This is most likely a cultural artifact brought from Mexico. If you have spent time down by the border or with many Mexicans near their homes, you would know what I mean.
Manassas is about as heavily Hispanic a town as you're likely to get outside of the border areas. My daughter's 3rd grade class is probably 75% Hispanic.
Funny thing is, if I were expressing disdain for white trash culture instead of brown trash culture, nary a peep would have been made about my commentary on their culture.
True. In my 38 years on this earth, including all the time spent biking, the vast majority of loose dog incidents have been with dogs owned by 'po white trash'. I don't know what makes the Hispanics in my area better about this, but they either don't let their dogs run loose or they're extremely well behaved.
I was attacked by a pit bull/boxer mix 30 years ago and still carry scars on the front and back of my head. I have two small children and a small dog. I'm *always* on the lookout for dogs on the loose. In fact, one of the driving forces behind me getting my CCW for the first time over 10 years ago was for protection against feral dogs while out in the woods. While out for a long walk with my family (and dog) yesterday, I saw 5 dogs, every one on a leash. Unrestrained dogs just aren't an issue in this heavily Hispanic area.
Chris
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In my 38 years on this earth, including all the time spent biking, the vast majority of loose dog incidents have been with dogs owned by 'po white trash'. I don't know what makes the Hispanics in my area better about this, but they either don't let their dogs run loose or they're extremely well behaved.
Education. Not formal, but practical. Perhaps by the time they've immigrated as far as VA, they've learned what behaviors to avoid to not draw attention. It's been mentioned to me (by Hispanic friends!) that the slowest drivers on the road are illegals trying to avoid contact with the law. I note that sometimes they are so slow that they're likely to draw attention from blocking traffic in all 3 lanes.
DD
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Absolutely.
But the "service animal" thing is easy to get away with. When I worked at Wal-Mart I was specifically briefed that if somebody said an animal of ANY type was a service animal, we could not question them. So someone could bring their pet in and say it was a service animal and we couldn't say boo.
To shed a little light, here's a bit from a FAQ put up by the FTA for bus drivers:
Question:
Where can I find detailed information regarding service animals and also if operaters are allowed to ask if an animal is service trained?
Answer:
Under 49 C.F.R. § 37.167(d) of the DOT ADA regulations, transit entities are required to permit service animals to accompany individuals with disabilities in vehicles and facilities. The DOT ADA regulations define “service animal” as the following: Service animal means any guide dog, signal dog, or other animal individually trained to work or perform tasks for an individual with a disability, including, but not limited to, guiding individuals with impaired vision, alerting individuals with impaired hearing to intruders or sounds, providing minimal protection or rescue work, pulling a wheelchair, or fetching dropped items. Service animals are animals that are individually trained to perform tasks for people with disabilities. A transit entity may ask if an animal is a service animal or ask what tasks the animal has been trained to perform, but cannot require special ID cards for the animal or ask about the person’s disability. A service animal may not be excluded unless the animal is out of control and the animal’s owner does not take effective action to control it, or the animal poses a direct threat to the health or safety of others. Assumptions about a how a particular animal is likely to behave, based on past experience with other animals, are not a factor. If an animal’s only function is only to provide emotional support or comfort for the rider, that animal would not fall under the regulatory training-based definition of a service animal. Simply providing comfort is something that animal does passively, by its nature or through the perception of the owner. With that said, nothing in the ADA prevents a transit agency from accommodating pets and comfort animals. Some do, and that would be a local decision.
From: http://ftawebprod.fta.dot.gov/ContactUsTool/Public/FAQs.aspx?CategoryID=4 (http://ftawebprod.fta.dot.gov/ContactUsTool/Public/FAQs.aspx?CategoryID=4)
Note that under the conditions listed, it would be entirely possible for a passenger to board with a "seeing-eye snake." This topic sometimes takes quite a while to work through with a group of new hires! =D
DD
(There is talk that the FTA will be adjusting their guidelines to only allow "common pets", excluding "farm animals" etc. Also, interestingly, there is a trend towards "service horses". Seems they are easily trained and quite effective. Oh, and here we're talking about miniature horses. I'm not sure how the FTA will address that if they change their guidelines.
See here for seeing eye horses: http://www.guidehorse.com/ (http://www.guidehorse.com/))
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One of the theories advanced about the amount of control exerted over dogs by suspected illegals is that those folks are leery of anything that brings them to the attention of "the authorities".
I seriously question that theory, seeing how many of them are reported on the TV as having been selected for the DREAM ACT provision that covers free room and board. The description de` jour has morphed from "a black male between 19 and 25 years old with medium build" to "a Hispanic/Latino male between 19 and 25 years old with medium build."
I'm the grumpy old gringo (formerly honkey) who lives on the corner and sits in the shadows by the back door at all hours of the night. At least there's one thing in the neighborhood that hasn't changed over the years. =D
stay safe.
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AZR44 could have been describing both my area and the family/families cohabitating with the ankle biters in question.
Two mini-dachs and one fluffy critter, all of which are brought out into the un-fenced front yard without a leash. No biggie for a well-behaved dog, but these regularly make a bee-line for folks walking by on the sidewalk.
A couple times when my kids & I were walking by. Once when my daughter rode by on her little bike with training wheels, once when my son was scootering by on his...scooter. This last time, fluffy dog chased him back to our yard and the beast suck its head through my picket fence to yap and snarl. I could have ended it right there with one kick to the side of its head & snapped its neck on the picket, but I am too much a softy. Next time, Fluffy gets to meet its Dear and Fluffy Lord.
If questioned, remember that whatever happened was "an instinctive and reflexive response". That was a phrase that covered the backsides of many a person in a position of custodial authority when accused of violating policy/procedure regarding the laying on of hands or hard objects upon the body of those in custody.
stay safe.
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I seriously question that theory, seeing how many of them are reported on the TV as having been selected for the DREAM ACT provision that covers free room and board.
I'm thinking it would vary by generation, position in the family, and the politics of the area they live in. A father who is trying to keep a roof over the heads of the family might be more inclined to blend in. A younger member of the family with no one depending on them might be more adventurous.
DD