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Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: roo_ster on January 10, 2012, 11:19:18 AM

Title: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: roo_ster on January 10, 2012, 11:19:18 AM
Who knew?

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/01/09/penis-tattoo-leads-to-permanent-erection/#.TwuUfheb8Vo.facebook

Quote
A 21-year-old Iranian man has a permanent semi-erection after having “borow be salaamat” (good luck with your journeys) and the letter “M” (his girlfriend’s initial) tattooed on his penis.

The man, whose name is unknown, was diagnosed with nonischemic priapism — a condition resulting from the inability of blood to exit the penis. His case was detailed in the latest issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

I am sure there will be no puns made at the man's expense.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: makattak on January 10, 2012, 11:28:33 AM
I am sure there will be no puns made at the man's expense.

I don't know, it's going to be kinda hard to resist.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Harold Tuttle on January 10, 2012, 11:34:44 AM
i won't touch that with a 10 inch pole
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Ron on January 10, 2012, 11:38:18 AM
What's up with that? Kind of hard to understand.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Monkeyleg on January 10, 2012, 11:41:10 AM
Quote
“borow be salaamat”

It would make more sense if it read, "borrow my salami".
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: wmenorr67 on January 10, 2012, 11:49:23 AM
That is an odd placement for that saying.  To whom or what is it directed?
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Tallpine on January 10, 2012, 11:52:43 AM
Welcome Aboard!

 =D
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Harold Tuttle on January 10, 2012, 11:57:37 AM
i haz found a pictar of the painted willy

Quote
Introduction.  To our knowledge, here we report the first case of nonischemic priapism following penile tattooing.

Aim.  To report the first case of nonischemic priapism following penile tattooing.

Methods.  A case with tattooing-induced priapism is presented including subjective reporting, physical examination, and laboratory/radiologic evaluations.

Results.  A 21-year-old man, presented with partially rigid penis of 3-month duration. On examination, the penis was half rigid, with a tattoo on its dorsal surface, and a smaller tattoo on the glans (Figure 1). The patient initially stated that the tattoo had been created years ago, but later admitted that he had it created just before the occurrence of priapism. A traditional tattooist created the tattoo manually, using a handheld needle. Bleeding from deep penile tissue for several days complicated the tattooing.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: CNYCacher on January 10, 2012, 12:25:32 PM
Quote
A traditional tattooist created the tattoo manually, using a handheld needle. Bleeding from deep penile tissue for several days complicated the tattooing.

If I ever want to get my junk stabbed I'll know to go to a professional tattoo artists who uses modern equipment.

Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Gowen on January 10, 2012, 12:32:40 PM
Brings whole new meaning to pee straight up!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Viking on January 10, 2012, 01:55:17 PM
If I ever want to get my junk stabbed I'll know to go to a professional tattoo artists who uses modern equipment.


This. He should probably be happy it didn't fall off!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Jamie B on January 10, 2012, 02:01:35 PM
Snark, snark, snark! Being civil and controlled, I will not rise to the occasion.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: MechAg94 on January 10, 2012, 03:11:43 PM
So he cared about his girl so much he go a stranger to stab him repeatedly with a needle in the penis?  I am missing something here.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 10, 2012, 03:16:58 PM
He should have gotten a number written on it instead. And then told women it was a Swiss bank account number, that was only readable if they could get it to stretch out...
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Harold Tuttle on January 10, 2012, 03:19:59 PM
Well it was written in persian
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Fly320s on January 10, 2012, 04:48:23 PM
Welcome to Jamaican, mon. Have a nice day!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Brad Johnson on January 10, 2012, 04:51:09 PM
Please don't give the folks at the Discovery Channel any ideas.  I can just see the new show title now... "Erection Ink".

Brad
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Jamie B on January 10, 2012, 04:57:10 PM
Reminds me of an old joke:

Two prostitutes are talking shop.
Prostitute 1 is telling stories about her fantastic regular customer, Shorty.
Prostitute 2 laughs about how a man with Shorty tattooed on his penis can be a decent lover.
Prostitute 1 tells her that is read Shorty when soft, and but read Shorty's Bar and Cafe, Chattanooga, Tennessee when erect.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 10, 2012, 05:27:17 PM
Reminds me of an old joke:

Two prostitutes are talking shop.
Prostitute 1 is telling stories about her fantastic regular customer, Shorty.
Prostitute 2 laughs about how a man with Shorty tattooed on his penis can be a decent lover.
Prostitute 1 tells her that is read Shorty when soft, and but read Shorty's Bar and Cafe, Chattanooga, Tennessee when erect.

At least it wasn't the one about the poor hooker who had to work the leper colony, and always had customers leaving her tips.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Devonai on January 10, 2012, 05:37:12 PM
Welcome to Jamaican, mon. Have a nice day!

 =D

Tell the whole thing!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Waitone on January 10, 2012, 07:05:08 PM
And the problem with a Sharpie is, what?
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 10, 2012, 07:14:49 PM
Reminds me of an old joke:

Two prostitutes are talking shop.
Prostitute 1 is telling stories about her fantastic regular customer, Shorty.
Prostitute 2 laughs about how a man with Shorty tattooed on his penis can be a decent lover.
Prostitute 1 tells her that is read Shorty when soft, and but read Shorty's Bar and Cafe, Chattanooga, Tennessee when erect.
:lol:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: RoadKingLarry on January 10, 2012, 08:19:52 PM
I knew an old IC Chief that had "YOUR NAME" tattooed on his member. Yes, I saw it once.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 10, 2012, 08:23:43 PM
I don't know why I am stunned an amazed that a male might tatoo that...

I guess it just doesn't make sense.

I always just kind of thought that men wanted women to do stuff to it, not sit there and look at it.
 ???
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 10, 2012, 08:32:58 PM
I don't know why I am stunned an amazed that a male might tatoo that...

I guess it just doesn't make sense.

I always just kind of thought that men wanted women to do stuff to it, not sit there and look at it.
 ???

Part of it might be the portion of the social contract that states if you're able to whip it out in her presence with her permission, the rest is pretty much a done deal.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 10, 2012, 08:35:31 PM
Part of it might be the portion of the social contract that states if you're able to whip it out in her presence with her permission, the rest is pretty much a done deal.  :laugh:

Not if it's a crappy tattoo...
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: mtnbkr on January 10, 2012, 08:54:51 PM
in the spirit of this thread...

(https://armedpolitesociety.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdamnyouautocorrect.com%2Fimages%2Fnew-tattoo.jpg&hash=6fc9dec36628c19820fb2fb571a820a95c8cf5bc)
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: seeker_two on January 10, 2012, 10:15:40 PM
I always just kind of thought that men wanted women to do stuff to it, not sit there and look at it.
 ???

...so we should tattoo instructions on it?.....
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 10, 2012, 10:17:03 PM
...so we should tattoo instructions on it?.....
 :facepalm:


No need. It's not rocket science.
 ;/
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: CNYCacher on January 10, 2012, 10:22:28 PM
No need. It's not rocket science.
 ;/

Then again. . . it is.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 10, 2012, 10:26:35 PM
Then again. . . it is.

Ten seconds, then blast off?

Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: seeker_two on January 10, 2012, 10:36:25 PM
No need. It's not rocket science.
 ;/

Good....otherwise mine would look like a Ruger Super Redhawk Hunter barrel......

=D
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: CNYCacher on January 10, 2012, 10:47:21 PM
Ten seconds, then blast off?

If you're doing it wrong!  :laugh:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 10, 2012, 10:49:24 PM
If you're doing it wrong!  :laugh:

I beg your pardon, but it's not my fault you succum to the hotness and lose control.
 :P
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 10, 2012, 11:03:31 PM
Not if it's a crappy tattoo...

That's the admittedly pathetic, but sometimes effective "sympathy gambit" version.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Gowen on January 10, 2012, 11:40:34 PM
Then there's the classic "Welcome to Jamaica, Have a nice day!"
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Scout26 on January 10, 2012, 11:52:52 PM
I didn't think you had to have the social contract in ink "there"...
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BridgeRunner on January 11, 2012, 12:25:28 AM
I didn't think you had to have the social contract in ink "there"...


Eh, it sorts the men of the boys. The boys get non-ischemic priapism. The men get the girl...
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: MicroBalrog on January 11, 2012, 01:30:48 AM
Eh, it sorts the men of the boys. The boys get non-ischemic priapism. The men get the girl...

On this logic, history knows one boy and very, very many men.


Frankly it's not really cool if you can't die doing it. Preferably with explosions.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on January 11, 2012, 01:44:16 PM
I heard he was trying to sue, but it was dismissed as there wasn't enough evidence for it to stand up in court.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 11, 2012, 03:02:19 PM
I heard he was trying to sue, but it was dismissed as there wasn't enough evidence for it to stand up in court.

I thought it was it was a mistrial because the plaintiff tried to improperly offer a solution right in court.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Brad Johnson on January 11, 2012, 04:08:16 PM
Give the phrase "objection upheld" a whole new meaning.

Brad
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Boomhauer on January 11, 2012, 09:40:43 PM
Quote
I don't know why I am stunned an amazed that a male might tatoo that...

Why should you be amazed when stuff like prince albert piercings (and other forms of genital piercings, plus tattoos in the groin area) exist? What it comes down to is that some people are just *expletive deleted*ed up in the head.

Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: seeker_two on January 11, 2012, 10:35:10 PM
Frankly it's not really cool if you can't die doing it. Preferably with explosions.

So....will you be testing the new detcord condoms anytime soon?....
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Lee on January 11, 2012, 11:18:13 PM
Hmmm....I'm seeing a little guy in a white suit with his hands in his pockets, saying, boss, the plane, the plane.

And for those who have no idea what I'm talking about....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1x_QbVDlLbI
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 12, 2012, 02:02:36 AM
Why should you be amazed when stuff like prince albert piercings (and other forms of genital piercings, plus tattoos in the groin area) exist? What it comes down to is that some people are just *expletive deleted*ed up in the head.



Not so much. I can work with a peircing. Can't do nothing but look at a tattoo.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on January 12, 2012, 07:20:12 AM
lol
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 12, 2012, 11:34:34 AM
So....will you be testing the new detcord condoms anytime soon?....
And you thought that ribbing was for her pleasure.  ;)
Title: Re: Re: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: lupinus on January 12, 2012, 12:15:09 PM
And you thought that ribbing was for her pleasure.  ;)
fire in the hole!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 12, 2012, 12:35:52 PM
 :O

 :lol:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: brimic on January 12, 2012, 01:37:56 PM
At least they aren't putting gauges in their junk.

...at least afaik...
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Viking on January 12, 2012, 02:00:13 PM
At least they aren't putting gauges in their junk.

...at least afaik...
"Further stretching to sizes above 10 mm is possible." regarding Prince Albert piercing. =D
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: wmenorr67 on January 12, 2012, 02:08:10 PM
"Further stretching to sizes above 10 mm is possible." regarding Prince Albert piercing. =D

TMI and ouch.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: makattak on January 12, 2012, 02:09:15 PM
"Further stretching to sizes above 10 mm is possible." regarding Prince Albert piercing. =D

And with that, I'm out of this thread. I don't want to investigate that nor fully comprehend what that means. <Shudder>
Title: Re: Re: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Fly320s on January 12, 2012, 04:32:13 PM
fire in the hole!

Must be a redhead.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: wmenorr67 on January 12, 2012, 04:45:07 PM
Must be a redhead.

Or has a STD.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on January 12, 2012, 05:50:57 PM
Speaking of which, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire....is it about Hemroids and a sore ass?  Listen to the words....
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: brimic on January 12, 2012, 05:58:57 PM
Quote
"Further stretching to sizes above 10 mm is possible." regarding Prince Albert piercing.

umm. ok. yeah. I'm sorry I asked... =|
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 12, 2012, 06:03:07 PM
Speaking of which, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire....is it about Hemroids and a sore ass?  Listen to the words....

You'd think after all this time Preparation H would have bought the rights to the song for a commercial.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: lupinus on January 12, 2012, 06:06:22 PM
Speaking of which, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire....is it about Hemroids and a sore ass?  Listen to the words....


You'd think after all this time Preparation H would have bought the rights to the song for a commercial.
actually just after his death they did try and the estate politely declined.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on January 12, 2012, 06:10:24 PM
actually just after his death they did try and the estate politely declined.

I should hope so.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: lee n. field on January 12, 2012, 06:16:00 PM
...so we should tattoo instructions on it?.....
 :facepalm:


"Read instruction manual before use, available on request from Strum, Ruger & Co. Prescott, AZ and Newport, NH"
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: lee n. field on January 12, 2012, 06:19:01 PM
I beg your pardon, but it's not my fault you succum to the hotness and loose control.
 :P

Males are pretty much on autopilot after a certain point.  If they needed to overthink things, much of the animal kingdom would be extinct, long ago.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: lee n. field on January 12, 2012, 06:22:43 PM
regarding Prince Albert piercing. =D

With that, I had to google it.  Ouch.  No thanks.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 12, 2012, 07:37:55 PM
With that, I had to google it.  Ouch.  No thanks.
Oh come on, how bad can it hurt?   :O
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Monkeyleg on January 12, 2012, 07:44:03 PM
Lupinus, are you serious about them trying to buy the rights to the song?
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: BridgeRunner on January 12, 2012, 07:54:29 PM
Speaking of which, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire....is it about Hemroids and a sore ass?  Listen to the words....

With the whole birth thing, a lot of women refer to the baby crowning as the ring of fire.  Having btdt, I'd have to say it's pretty accurate. 
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: lupinus on January 12, 2012, 08:05:39 PM
Lupinus, are you serious about them trying to buy the rights to the song?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,111835,00.html
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: seeker_two on January 12, 2012, 10:32:09 PM
At least they aren't putting gauges in their junk.

...at least afaik...

Hydraulic pressure or torque?.....  =|
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 13, 2012, 07:17:15 AM
I understand they ARE putting in pumps, maybe a gauge wouldn't be a bad idea so they don't overpressurize.  :O
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 13, 2012, 08:41:00 AM
With the whole birth thing, a lot of women refer to the baby crowning as the ring of fire.  Having btdt, I'd have to say it's pretty accurate. 

Having delivered two sets of twins eleven months apart, one set vaginally, the other via C-section, she agrees.

As she put it: "You don't sit on, or go to the bathroom with an incision in your belly."
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: brimic on January 13, 2012, 10:56:24 AM

Quote
Hydraulic pressure or torque?.....

(https://armedpolitesociety.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzle.com%2Fimg%2FarticleImages%2F436388-24219-26.jpg&hash=5688a30b3516cb1b630e0d4c6a52fcf4423e26d5)

More like self-mutilation 'gauges.'
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 13, 2012, 04:45:38 PM
So that's like a grommet thing you can use to tie them down before you drive the stake through their hearts?  =D
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 13, 2012, 05:14:03 PM
So that's like a grommet thing you can use to tie them down before you drive the stake through their hearts?  =D

No, that's where the $300 unpickable Abloy paddlelock made of Tungsten Carbide gets put through, once you sneak up behind them on the bus, or when they're really distracted at the indie used record store...
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Tallpine on January 13, 2012, 05:27:27 PM
Quote
paddlelock

Is that for locking them in place so you can paddle them  ???

:lol:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: Lee on January 13, 2012, 08:40:44 PM
Quote
Not if it's a crappy tattoo...

Depends on their preferences I guess.  :laugh:

Did you have Prince Albert in the can?
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: AJ Dual on January 13, 2012, 09:13:44 PM
Is that for locking them in place so you can paddle them  ???

:lol:

'Zactly!

Or, more probably the phones predictive text chose that for me, and I did not notice.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: grislyatoms on January 13, 2012, 09:15:47 PM
I had a catheter once. Anyone getting near "ME" with any such nonsense again will be knocked into next month. ;-) Although the nurse that catheterized? me was rather attractive. And gentle. She liked my "sawbones" jokes. Anyway, come near me down in the nether regions with sharp, pointy things or even slender, tapered ones and I'm gonna...do whatever I can coming off anesthesia and not being able to move. I have some rather incisive comments I can parry with!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: brimic on January 13, 2012, 10:50:36 PM
Quote
I had a catheter once. Anyone getting near "ME" with any such nonsense again will be knocked into next month.
I can sympathize.
When I got one, I was in bad need of a morphine shot, but they gave me the wrong kind of love first. :mad:
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 14, 2012, 07:11:10 AM
I had a catheter once. Anyone getting near "ME" with any such nonsense again will be knocked into next month. ;-) Although the nurse that catheterized? me was rather attractive. And gentle. She liked my "sawbones" jokes. Anyway, come near me down in the nether regions with sharp, pointy things or even slender, tapered ones and I'm gonna...do whatever I can coming off anesthesia and not being able to move. I have some rather incisive comments I can parry with!
Did ya get the cam shoved up into your bladder?  :O
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: HeroHog on January 14, 2012, 11:35:23 AM
Been cathed many times. Had a kidney stone dragged out my pecker with a "basket" once and had the camera up the pecker when they discovered a bladder tumor (benign). It isn't THAT bad except for when it passes through the prostate. THAT bit is... uh... "rather uncomfortable?"

When yer kidneys lock up, after a while, you WILL reach for that button and BEG the nurse to cath you!
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: geronimotwo on January 14, 2012, 02:49:34 PM
He should have gotten a number written on it instead. And then told women it was a Swiss bank account number, that was only readable if they could get it to stretch out...

only problem is when they want a withdrawel.
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: 280plus on January 14, 2012, 03:28:29 PM
Been cathed many times. Had a kidney stone dragged out my pecker with a "basket" once and had the camera up the pecker when they discovered a bladder tumor (benign). It isn't THAT bad except for when it passes through the prostate. THAT bit is... uh... "rather uncomfortable?"

When yer kidneys lock up, after a while, you WILL reach for that button and BEG the nurse to cath you!
MOMMY!!  :O
Title: Re: Penis Tattoos: A Bad Idea
Post by: grislyatoms on January 16, 2012, 09:34:11 AM
No camera. This was post car wreck many years ago; I was drifting in and out. Don't remember much but I remember that damned catheter... The nurse kept saying "Just relax, and don't get "excited"". Uhh... no worries there!