Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: 280plus on February 19, 2012, 10:09:48 AM

Title: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: 280plus on February 19, 2012, 10:09:48 AM

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch
of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.


'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?'

'Because he's a Bullshitter . He's never been out of the yard'
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Ben on February 19, 2012, 10:19:00 AM
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Doggy Daddy on February 19, 2012, 11:19:48 AM
'Because he's a Bull*expletive deleted*ter . He's never been out of the yard'

Someone should take that dog home and name him "Mabs".   ;/

DD
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Mabs2 on February 19, 2012, 04:12:32 PM
Wait, what?
I don't get it.
I don't even come here for two weeks and some of you are still making poorly thought out jokes about me?
If you're going to make fun of me, do it right.  This is just equivalent of taking anything a person says and throwing "your mom" on it.

Example:  YOUR MOM should take that dog home and name it Mabs.
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: 280plus on February 19, 2012, 04:41:04 PM
Wouldn't it be more like "Someone should take that dog home and name it your mom"

Just askin'...  =)
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Jamie B on February 19, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
Someone should take that dog home and name him "Mabs".   ;/

DD
That is offensive to all Bullshiite talking dogs.
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: BridgeRunner on February 19, 2012, 08:18:05 PM
And here I thought this was just another divorce thread.
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Doggy Daddy on February 19, 2012, 08:22:29 PM
I can summon spirits!   >:D
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: seeker_two on February 19, 2012, 10:18:33 PM
I can summon spirits!   >:D

So can your mom.....
 



=D




Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: S. Williamson on February 19, 2012, 11:48:45 PM
I believe the correct "sick burn" in this case would be:  I can summon your mom.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Monkeyleg on February 19, 2012, 11:53:55 PM
I heard that joke in the 1970's. I don't think Mabs was around then. ;)
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: freakazoid on February 20, 2012, 12:31:35 AM
I have a friend who I do mom jokes any chance I get. Started on deployment and it hasn't stopped since. Sometimes they get pretty complex. :lol:
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: MechAg94 on February 20, 2012, 10:02:06 AM
Wait, what?
I don't get it.
I don't even come here for two weeks and some of you are still making poorly thought out jokes about me?
If you're going to make fun of me, do it right.  This is just equivalent of taking anything a person says and throwing "your mom" on it.

Example:  YOUR MOM should take that dog home and name it Mabs.

Why should we listen to you when you are only worth 10 dollars?  You just talk BS anyway from what I hear.
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: seeker_two on February 20, 2012, 10:13:39 AM
I believe the correct "sick burn" in this case would be:  I can summon your mom.  :laugh:

Why would I want to do that?......ewwww......




=D
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Jamie B on February 20, 2012, 11:31:04 AM
I have a friend who I do mom jokes any chance I get. Started on deployment and it hasn't stopped since. Sometimes they get pretty complex. :lol:
Well, my Mom can beat your Mom's *expletive deleted*ss!  =D
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: seeker_two on February 20, 2012, 02:26:33 PM
Well, my Mom can beat your Mom's *expletive deleted*ss!  =D

Kinky..... ;)
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: Mabs2 on February 20, 2012, 03:34:11 PM
So can your mom.....
 



=D





I wouldn't call opening a liquor cabinet "summoning spirits" though.
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: wmenorr67 on February 20, 2012, 11:07:09 PM
I wouldn't call opening a liquor cabinet "summoning spirits" though.

Hey that actually is a pretty good one Mabs.
Title: Re: Subject: Dog for Sale
Post by: seeker_two on February 21, 2012, 05:59:05 AM
I wouldn't call opening a liquor cabinet "summoning spirits" though.

I agree....summoning would require at least a "Hey, bartender...."