Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: never_retreat on June 01, 2012, 10:14:04 PM
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Its official the CDC says there are no such thing as zombies, despite a recent string of zombie like behavior.
Never did trust the .gov and I'm not going to start now.
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/06/zombie_apocalypse_cdc_says_not.html (http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/06/zombie_apocalypse_cdc_says_not.html)
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Aw dammit! :mad:
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"CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," agency spokesman David Daigle said in an e-mail to the Huffington Post today.
"Does not know of...."
There, see? It is impossible to "know" this unless every virus or condition of the entire population has been examined.
I think the CDC has been taken over by real Zombies.
That's what I think, by gum, by golly, by cracky.
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Never did trust the .gov and I'm not going to start now.
Ayyyyup. Now we can panic.
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If this administration comes out with any announcement, I'm taking the opposite as true.
See you all in the bunker.
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They obviously have not totally examined every kongresskritter in DC. :facepalm: [popcorn] [tinfoil] [tinfoil] ;/ ;)
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That's not what they said a last year:
http://web.archive.org/web/20110721035335/http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/
(that page was up just a month or two ago)
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That's not what they said a last year:
http://web.archive.org/web/20110721035335/http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/
(that page was up just a month or two ago)
Coincidence? I think not! [tinfoil]
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I agree with 280.
The government says that zombies can't happen? Aww, crap. I don't have enough ammo. :mad:
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They obviously have not totally examined every kongresskritter in DC. :facepalm: [popcorn] [tinfoil] [tinfoil] ;/ ;)
....or every Democrat voter in Chicago.....
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The government doesn't deny non-events, therefore zombies must exist!
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The CDC doth protest too much, methinks.
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I agree with 280.
The government says that zombies can't happen? Aww, crap. I don't have enough ammo. :mad:
Just when tyou thought you might have enough... :facepalm:
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....or every Democrat voter in Chicago.....
Chicago is the best proof that zombies exist. They show up on election day and vote Democratic.
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^
Yeah, the Cemetery Registration van goes out three-four months before election day to register them.
"Are you a resident, Sir? How long have you been in Illinois?"
"Since 1818, when we finally got to be a State."
"Ok. I'll put you down as a Democrat for this election."
"Fine with me. Can I get back in my casket now?"
Gotta have that Universal Suffrage thing, don't we?
Terry, 230RN
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Reporter: Do Zombies exist?
CDC: Absolutely not! There is no such thing as a Zombie! In fact, the term itself is offensive, a negative reflection on the vibrant Caribbean culture of Haiti, where . . .
Reporter: OK, how about Reanimated Deceased? Do they exist?
CDC: No comment.
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Its official the CDC says there are no such thing as zombies, despite a recent string of zombie like behavior.
Never did trust the .gov and I'm not going to start now.
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/06/zombie_apocalypse_cdc_says_not.html (http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/06/zombie_apocalypse_cdc_says_not.html)
Good, I was worried there for a bit....hold on, there is somebody at the do
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Steven Colbert has been stealing our material