Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Harold Tuttle on June 16, 2006, 10:37:49 AM

Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Harold Tuttle on June 16, 2006, 10:37:49 AM
http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php


At age 100, a tiger will maul you. Don't ask why, but you will be in a Burmese jungle.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: SADShooter on June 16, 2006, 10:55:40 AM
"At age 36, you will purchase a bowl of chili from a local fast food restaurant and choke to death on a parrot that somehow ended up in it."

Plausible? I like chili, and my mother has a parrot I don't care for. You decide.

The bad news? I'm 35.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: cordex on June 16, 2006, 10:56:15 AM
At age 101, you will become the target of a grand plot to overthrow the government of Ecuador, and be killed.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Ex-MA Hole on June 16, 2006, 11:07:46 AM
"At age 60, you will be slain by a swiss army knife. Nobody will use it against you, you just fall on it. "

Yup.  That sounds like something I'd do.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Nick1911 on June 16, 2006, 11:10:01 AM
Nick: At age 36, suicide, straight up.

Sad
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Guest on June 16, 2006, 11:10:37 AM
" Steve : At age 67, you will be attacked by a pack of wild dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again."

I'm 51.

 Rabid dogs : BTDT  more than once...and I know what a Shotgun with slugs and a 1911, .357 or  a .44 Mag car gun will do.
I'm typing - the dogs are long past wormfood...
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: cosine on June 16, 2006, 11:10:49 AM
"Struck by lightening at age 82 while moving an antenna beside my mobile home."

Hmm, I hope I don't ever get that dumb, and sure don't plan on ever living in a mobile home!
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: garrettwc on June 16, 2006, 11:19:50 AM
"At age 52, you will refuse to give a quarter to a beggar. Immediately afterwards you will be hit by a bus. "
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: crt360 on June 16, 2006, 11:41:12 AM
"At age 87, you will die while partaking in a particularly intense meditation session."

Well, I guess I won't be retiring as soon as I thought.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: AJ Dual on June 16, 2006, 11:46:05 AM
"At age (Dev/Null) you will %cause% live indefinately as a recorded AI personality construct after humanity passes through the technolgical singularity."

Cool. Looks like I've still got a few things to look forward to after my "meat life" is over...
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Typhoon on June 16, 2006, 11:55:25 AM
Andrea: At age 101, while playing Street Fighter Omega at an arcade, you will be electrocuted by the headset. You will be the first such death in years.

Right on!
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Sindawe on June 16, 2006, 12:04:57 PM
Sindawe: At age 79, you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.

LOL!   FREE MARS!!!
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Nightfall on June 16, 2006, 12:37:54 PM
"At age 65, you will discover that cellular phones really do cause cancer, and your days of Wall Street trading caused your demise."

Wall Street trading? Maaaan... I'm gonna be rich and bored outta my mind. I'd much rather die on Phobos fighting for freedom!
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Iain on June 16, 2006, 12:43:49 PM
At age 87 I will be ridiculed by small children until I commit suicide.

Sounds depressingly like England. Doubt I'll get anywhere near 87 though.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: RadioFreeSeaLab on June 16, 2006, 12:44:29 PM
At age 35, you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Iain on June 16, 2006, 12:50:00 PM
That sounds like it's going to be a long war. And a pretty desperate one too if the enlisted ranks include 79 yr olds. Unless of course Sindawe is going to be some sort of irregular TERRORIST!
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: chaim on June 16, 2006, 12:54:02 PM
"At age 71, while showing your work at a major art gallery, you will be accosted and later slain by PETA activists"


Hmm, I am pretty far from an artist so I can see how if my "art" ever became shown at a major art gallery why art purists would want me dead, but PETA...sounds interesting.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: USP45usp on June 16, 2006, 12:57:34 PM
At age 86, a large monkey will beat you to death, using the antiquated art of fisticuffs.

Dang, I knew I should have learned how to fisticuff.

Wayne
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Daniel964 on June 16, 2006, 01:08:57 PM
At age 98, you will die from a gunshot wound to the pelvis. The only suspect is your landlord.

I've got a few more years left. I'm only 43.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Warren on June 16, 2006, 01:12:19 PM
Warren: At age 47, a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of malt liquor.


I'm the only one professional enough to buy this fo-tie.......blam!



And my wife will outlive me but the demon rum will claim her as well.....

****: At age 62, you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Preacherman on June 16, 2006, 01:29:02 PM
Quote
At age 43, you will be blown up by the pyrotechnics rigged at one of your "Reunion Tour" concerts.
Just a few problems:

- I'm 47 already;

- Ain't had no group with which/whom to have a reunion tour;

- I supply my own pyrotechnics.

Cheesy
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: lee n. field on June 16, 2006, 01:30:54 PM
Quote
At age 50, you will pass in your sleep from undiscerned natural causes.
(I'm 51.)
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: S. Williamson on June 16, 2006, 01:54:25 PM
Quote
At age 38, you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.
Hey Sindawe... how old are you?  I wanna check this thing's math. :/

Oh, and I'll be bringing a bunch of 7.62x39 and 8mm.  What 'bout you? Cheesy
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: 280plus on June 16, 2006, 02:21:42 PM
Mr Mustard, in the library with a billy club. oops...wrong game Shocked

Tongue
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: jefnvk on June 16, 2006, 03:08:40 PM
Quote
Jeff: At age 91, you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown.
The only thing I would add is while escorting a 22 year old twin chicks Smiley
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Sindawe on June 16, 2006, 03:47:15 PM
Now now jefnvk, think of the children who may be reading this thread. Wink

About my chronological age, lets just say I won't see 40 again, and look off to the far horizon of 50.  Maybe I will get the chance to say to my critics:

You all can go to hell -- I'm going to MARS!

================
End the Tyranny of Terra!
FREE MARS!
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: jefnvk on June 16, 2006, 06:54:15 PM
Quote
Now now jefnvk, think of the children who may be reading this thread.
Hey, us children have imaginations too Smiley

(especially the children that go to the 80% male Michigan Tech)
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Twycross on June 16, 2006, 08:33:11 PM
Quote
At age 66, you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth magarita of the day. (And it's only 3:00pm, shame on you!)
Hmm. Interesting. Alcohol claims another victim. Cheesy
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: MillCreek on June 16, 2006, 09:15:17 PM
"At age 53, a band of strangely dressed small children will ridicule you until you commit suicide."  Hmm, sounds like I have a career change from healthcare administrator to school teacher.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: K Frame on June 17, 2006, 03:31:24 AM
Darth Vader cuts you down in a light sabre battle.
Title: how will you check out?
Post by: Live Free Or Die on June 17, 2006, 04:00:56 AM
"At age 87, you will be hunted by a strange apparition resembling Andy Griffith, and subsequently commit suicide after the stress proves to be too much. "

Yeah, sounds pretty much like what I expected.