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http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php
At age 100, a tiger will maul you. Don't ask why, but you will be in a Burmese jungle.
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"At age 36, you will purchase a bowl of chili from a local fast food restaurant and choke to death on a parrot that somehow ended up in it."
Plausible? I like chili, and my mother has a parrot I don't care for. You decide.
The bad news? I'm 35.
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At age 101, you will become the target of a grand plot to overthrow the government of Ecuador, and be killed.
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"At age 60, you will be slain by a swiss army knife. Nobody will use it against you, you just fall on it. "
Yup. That sounds like something I'd do.
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Nick: At age 36, suicide, straight up.
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" Steve : At age 67, you will be attacked by a pack of wild dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again."
I'm 51.
Rabid dogs : BTDT more than once...and I know what a Shotgun with slugs and a 1911, .357 or a .44 Mag car gun will do.
I'm typing - the dogs are long past wormfood...
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"Struck by lightening at age 82 while moving an antenna beside my mobile home."
Hmm, I hope I don't ever get that dumb, and sure don't plan on ever living in a mobile home!
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"At age 52, you will refuse to give a quarter to a beggar. Immediately afterwards you will be hit by a bus. "
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"At age 87, you will die while partaking in a particularly intense meditation session."
Well, I guess I won't be retiring as soon as I thought.
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"At age (Dev/Null) you will %cause% live indefinately as a recorded AI personality construct after humanity passes through the technolgical singularity."
Cool. Looks like I've still got a few things to look forward to after my "meat life" is over...
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Andrea: At age 101, while playing Street Fighter Omega at an arcade, you will be electrocuted by the headset. You will be the first such death in years.
Right on!
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Sindawe: At age 79, you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.
LOL! FREE MARS!!!
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"At age 65, you will discover that cellular phones really do cause cancer, and your days of Wall Street trading caused your demise."
Wall Street trading? Maaaan... I'm gonna be rich and bored outta my mind. I'd much rather die on Phobos fighting for freedom!
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At age 87 I will be ridiculed by small children until I commit suicide.
Sounds depressingly like England. Doubt I'll get anywhere near 87 though.
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At age 35, you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.
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That sounds like it's going to be a long war. And a pretty desperate one too if the enlisted ranks include 79 yr olds. Unless of course Sindawe is going to be some sort of irregular TERRORIST!
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"At age 71, while showing your work at a major art gallery, you will be accosted and later slain by PETA activists"
Hmm, I am pretty far from an artist so I can see how if my "art" ever became shown at a major art gallery why art purists would want me dead, but PETA...sounds interesting.
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At age 86, a large monkey will beat you to death, using the antiquated art of fisticuffs.
Dang, I knew I should have learned how to fisticuff.
Wayne
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At age 98, you will die from a gunshot wound to the pelvis. The only suspect is your landlord.
I've got a few more years left. I'm only 43.
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Warren: At age 47, a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of malt liquor.
I'm the only one professional enough to buy this fo-tie.......blam!
And my wife will outlive me but the demon rum will claim her as well.....
****: At age 62, you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.
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At age 43, you will be blown up by the pyrotechnics rigged at one of your "Reunion Tour" concerts.
Just a few problems:
- I'm 47 already;
- Ain't had no group with which/whom to have a reunion tour;
- I supply my own pyrotechnics.
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At age 50, you will pass in your sleep from undiscerned natural causes.
(I'm 51.)
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At age 38, you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.
Hey Sindawe... how old are you? I wanna check this thing's math. :/
Oh, and I'll be bringing a bunch of 7.62x39 and 8mm. What 'bout you?
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Mr Mustard, in the library with a billy club. oops...wrong game
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Jeff: At age 91, you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown.
The only thing I would add is while escorting a 22 year old twin chicks
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Now now jefnvk, think of the children who may be reading this thread.
About my chronological age, lets just say I won't see 40 again, and look off to the far horizon of 50. Maybe I will get the chance to say to my critics:
You all can go to hell -- I'm going to MARS!
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End the Tyranny of Terra!
FREE MARS!
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Now now jefnvk, think of the children who may be reading this thread.
Hey, us children have imaginations too
(especially the children that go to the 80% male Michigan Tech)
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At age 66, you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth magarita of the day. (And it's only 3:00pm, shame on you!)
Hmm. Interesting. Alcohol claims another victim.
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"At age 53, a band of strangely dressed small children will ridicule you until you commit suicide." Hmm, sounds like I have a career change from healthcare administrator to school teacher.
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Darth Vader cuts you down in a light sabre battle.
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"At age 87, you will be hunted by a strange apparition resembling Andy Griffith, and subsequently commit suicide after the stress proves to be too much. "
Yeah, sounds pretty much like what I expected.