Post by: 280plus on July 28, 2006, 09:22:59 AM
He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
"We missed the "R", we missed the "R" !" His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was CELEBRATE."
Post by: spinr on July 28, 2006, 10:09:37 AM
It's celibate. Those damn monks, really can't spell at all.
Post by: 280plus on July 28, 2006, 10:36:18 AM
Post by: Preacherman on July 28, 2006, 12:01:49 PM
There's also the tale of Father O'Malley. He was walking down Dublin High Street one day when he happened to see Mrs. O'Donnell. He called to her and said "Mrs. O'Donnell, was I not after marryin' yez just a few years ago? How are you? And how's Mr. O'Donnell? And the children?"
"Oh, Father," replied Mrs. O'Donnell, "me 'usband's foine, thank yez very much, but we've no children yet. We're tryin', yez understan', but no luck so far."
"Well, Mrs. O'Donnell", said Father O'Malley, "I'm after goin' to Rome on pilgrimage next week. Oi'll light a candle in St. Peter's Cathedral for yez both, and we'll see what the Blessed Mother can do about some children for yez."
So he went off to Rome, and lit the candle as promised, and then forgot about it. Some years went by.
One day he was walking down Dublin High Street again, and saw Mrs. O'Donnell ahead of him, pushing a stroller and with two kids by her side. He called to her, "Mrs. O'Donnell! How nice to see yez again! An' I see that Our Lady has answered my prayers! How many children have yez now?"
"Oh, Father!" replied Mrs. O'Donnell, with a harassed air. "Oi've twins in the stroller here, and young Jamie and Mary beside me, an' there's one more at home with Da' - and I'm expecting another in the summer!"
"Oh, praise be!" exulted Father O'Malley. "How greatly ye've been blessed! And what does Mr. O'Donnell think about your good fortune?"
"Well, Father, he's off to Rome on pilgrimage himself next week."
"Oh - is he goin' to give thanks?"
"No, Father - he's goin' to blow out that bloody candle!"
Post by: Perd Hapley on July 28, 2006, 12:06:04 PM
Post by: 280plus on July 28, 2006, 12:46:03 PM
Fist, you gotta learn to relax. Let the joke enter your soul, become one with the joke, that kind of thing
Post by: Perd Hapley on July 29, 2006, 11:05:00 AM
I get it now.
Post by: 280plus on July 29, 2006, 11:11:12 AM
Post by: Lo.Com.Denom on July 29, 2006, 12:08:52 PM
And so on and so forth...
Post by: Winston Smith on July 29, 2006, 09:02:14 PM
Post by: grampster on July 30, 2006, 09:32:20 AM
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Father, I cannot reveal my confidence. Well then Seamus sez Father O'Toole, was it Annie O'Leary. Please Father, gimme me pennance and let be go, 'cause I canna tell yez that.
So Father O'Toole assigns 10 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Fathers and Seamus goes his way.
As Seamus is going out of church he bumps into Liam who asks "How's the good Padre today, Seamus." "Well", says Seamus, "Pretty good. I got me pennance and
3 good leads."