Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: vaskidmark on June 20, 2013, 12:05:18 PM
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This does not belong in the other section.. Read along and you'll find out why.
I'm at the 3/4 mark on a major clean-up/throw-out project. The last area to be gone through before the vacuum cleaner of doom starts up is the front hall closet. There's a small, sealed packing box back in the rear corner. It's sat there ever since I moved in here. It should have been sitting there because it is neatly labled "Hall Closet". I look deep into my collective memory, wondering what's been storted in the bottom of the hall closet for all these yers.
Nada. Blank. No idea whatsoever. Why didn't I write a clue? I did write a clue - "Hall Closet". Why didn't I write a better clue?
It's either pitch the box into the trash unopened and spend the rest of my life wondering what was in there, or open the sucker up and look.
Nudge the box with my toe - no ominous ticking starts. No non-ominous ticking, either. Give the box a quick shake. No sounds of things rattling or of glass breaking, nothing that even suggests some hibernating being is being disturbed and now awakening. It's probably OK to cut the packing tape, right?
Move the box to where I have an unimpeded line of retreat, should it be needed. Still nothing ominous sounding. Actually, no sounds at all except my heart beating and my ragged breathing.
Cut the tape. Wait to see if anything happens. Wait. Wait. Wait some more just to be sure. Nothing happens.
Use the broom handle to flip up one of the box flaps, while poised like a sprinter facing towards the line of retreat. Other than the flap staying up, nothing happens.
Still using the broom handle, raise the other flaps. Lots of anticipation met with - nothing.
OK, time to sneak up and peer into the box. Why, oh why, is my emergency signaling mirror in the BOB in the car? I could tape it to the broom handle and sneak a peek without actually exposing myself. But it is in the BOB, which is in the car. Any I'm too lazy to go out there and get it. So, nothing to do but stick my head over the edge and look inside. I commence slicing the pie, getting better and wider looks inside. But nothing is registering because I'm duking back so quickly, "just in case something happens."
It's gone beyond rediculous. Why not just walk over there, stand over the box, and see what's inside? I don't know why not, so that's what I do. I am now, so to speak, face to face with the contents.
A dozen rolls of TP!
Now it all comes flashing back to me. I had assembled my BOB and my GOOD bag. I was as pleased as punch with myself. Until I remembered - there was no TP. (In case you did not know it, TP is what will prevent the total collapse of civilization. Stashing a dozen rolls can only be a good idea. Stashing a dozen rolls of the extra-soft, quilted stuff with pretty flowers printed on it will not only prevent the collapse of civilization but might be one of the better means of attracting a female in the post-apocolyptic world. Or apparently so my mind was telling me 15 years ago.)
I am now debating with myself if I should, for the sake of science, conduct a series of experiments to determine if TP can survive 15 years in the back of my hall closet without catastrophic deterioration, or should I just go out to the car with a couple of rolls and cram them in the BOB, and stuff the remaining rolls in the GOOD bag?
The moral of the story (if there is one besides that I am an idiot)? Be specific when you lable your emergency supplies. Sure it will make it easier for the folks who are raiding your bunker, but by that time you should be dead anyway, right? And if you are not dead you will be able to find what you are looking for without pawing through a bunch of boxes, all neatly labled "Emergency Supplies".
stay safe.
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Now it all comes flashing back to me. I had assembled my BOB and my GOOD bag. I was as pleased as punch with myself. Until I remembered - there was no TP. (In case you did not know it, TP is what will prevent the total collapse of civilization. Stashing a dozen rolls can only be a good idea. Stashing a dozen rolls of the extra-soft, quilted stuff with pretty flowers printed on it will not only prevent the collapse of civilization but might be one of the better means of attracting a female in the post-apocolyptic world. Or apparently so my mind was telling me 15 years ago.)
I am now debating with myself if I should, for the sake of science, conduct a series of experiments to determine if TP can survive 15 years in the back of my hall closet without catastrophic deterioration, or should I just go out to the car with a couple of rolls and cram them in the BOB, and stuff the remaining rolls in the GOOD bag?
The moral of the story (if there is one besides that I am an idiot)? Be specific when you lable your emergency supplies. Sure it will make it easier for the folks who are raiding your bunker, but by that time you should be dead anyway, right? And if you are not dead you will be able to find what you are looking for without pawing through a bunch of boxes, all neatly labled "Emergency Supplies".
stay safe.
Labeling and documentation is a good thing.
And yes, I'm actually curious how 15 year old TP handles business. Is it name brand or generic? Plain cardboard box, or still in plastic?
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Labeling and documentation is a good thing.
And yes, I'm actually curious how 15 year old TP handles business. Is it name brand or generic? Plain cardboard box, or still in plastic?
Ok - well, this should be an interesting After Action Report [popcorn]
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Hopefully there will be no butt puckering screams noted in the AAR.
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Here I thought that keeping a goodly stash of Preparation H was instrumental in preventing the total collapse of civilization.
Maybe that's in the other box labeled "Medicine Cabinet"? =D
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Ok - well, this should be an interesting After Action Report [popcorn]
This thread is worthless worthMORE without pictures!
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Stashing a dozen rolls of the extra-soft, quilted stuff with pretty flowers printed on it will not only prevent the collapse of civilization but might be one of the better means of attracting a female in the post-apocolyptic world.
Exactly what I was thinking. Guys can, more or less, get along without it.
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Exactly what I was thinking. Guys can, more or less, get along without it.
But that doesn't mean they *should.*
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.... Is it name brand or generic? Plain cardboard box, or still in plastic?
Name brand, high-priced extra soft, fluffy and quilted with pretty flower outlines in red and purple ink.
Still in the original plastic wrapping. No overt evidence of water damage via exposure to high humidity. (Those of you with boating experience probably understand this.)
I have decided to forego my usual foray into Big Lots to procure and bring home a 36-roll package of generic Papel Higenico which retails for $16.56 (that's
$0.46 per roll of 250 double sheets of splinters and chips, if anybody does not have their calculator handy. That price has been steady at the local Big Lots for the last 15 months.) Thus, we will get that AAR report paperwork started in the next few days. I'm figuring a summary would be better appreciaed than a stroke by stroke sitrep.
Gewehr98 - just make sure that you only brush your teeth in a lighted environment. =D
Prep. H makes life in the post-apacolypse more comfortable, but we all know how one can carry on for days with a flaming butthole (either ours or acting as a supervisor). Noses can be wiped on a sleeve or the bare forearm. You can dig ear wax out with your pinky or the tip of anything smaller than .45APC. Her Majesty may not be happy with rags or rabbit/squirrel fur, but can make the adjustment. A stick is another thing that is not going there, regardless of how much or how well you explain the reason (forgive the unintentional pun) behind it. Three stones/shells? Much too abrasive.
Given a couple of cases of Quilted Northern and I could be appointed king. At least for as long as the supply lasted.
stay safe.
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But that doesn't mean they *should.*
I might be wrong, but I think Lee was trying to say guys are more willing to adapt to alternatives, as opposed to suggesting guys are willing to forego the activity altogether. "Leaves of three, let it be" can be very meaningful. The leaves of the nettle and the thistle only seem to be soft until you rub them the wrong way.
stay safe.
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I might be wrong, but I think Lee was trying to say guys are more willing to adapt to alternatives, as opposed to suggesting guys are willing to forego the activity altogether. "Leaves of three, let it be" can be very meaningful. The leaves of the nettle and the thistle only seem to be soft until you rub them the wrong way.
Adapt, improvise, overcome.
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I know most threads are useless without pics, but please don't post any test results.
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Living in Corn country might prove handy should TEOTWAKI occur and the Charmin run out.
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At least it was probably the old, larger size which actually fit in the TP dispenser.
If this product shrinkage crap keeps up, a roll of toilet paper will become nothing more than a ball of string. And you'll use it like dental floss, sawing back and forth with it.
Then some brilliant CEO will increase his company's profits by making the ball smaller.
And get a fat bonus for his clever idea.
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(https://armedpolitesociety.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi149.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs54%2FBitFreakazoid%2Ftumblr_m2fo34b3LK1qznr6bo1_500_zps3f45e3c8.png&hash=4e841d8e46f4d29bc8cd667331d9e183a8085b18)
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I might be wrong, but I think Lee was trying to say guys are more willing to adapt to alternatives, as opposed to suggesting guys are willing to forego the activity altogether. "Leaves of three, let it be" can be very meaningful. The leaves of the nettle and the thistle only seem to be soft until you rub them the wrong way.
stay safe.
Lee is wrong.
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We have an AAR available.
First, this stuff is not unscented! Unless you want to call Ivory Soap unscented, too. It's not an overwhelming whiff of Axe, It's not tootsy-frootsy floral like your great-grandmother's lilac-like aura. Maybe more castile (hard milled) than Ivory soap?
Remember, the comparison is against Papel Sanitorica from Big lots. Understanding that, this suff is [size=0pt]SOFT[/size]! OMFG is it soft. You could rub this over the exterior of a Bently all day and not make the first scratch. They probably use this stuff to polish space telescope mirrors.
Let us just say there is a difference between how wood-chips-and-sawdust and this stuff accomplish their designed function. A noticable difference.
The new TEOTWAWKI plan is first to lay in a few boxcars of this stuff. Taking no chances that the original plastic wrap will hold up against an apoclaiptical climate, I'm going to do up mylar bags with individual rolls, two rolls, and four rolls. Anything over four rolls may cause the person buying/bartering for this stuff to be targeted by brigands and highwaymen. But I'm not going to put this stuff out first - oh, no! I'm going to start folks out on Papel Sanitorica, then sell them another roll of PS, and only them let slip that I migt be able to get my hands on something "a little better".
Except for wimmins. I'm gonna tell them right away that I can get a few sheets in exchange for, well, in exchange for what's it worth to you? (I might do the same with wymins, but that's going to depend on just how many gender studies courses she has completed.)
Screw you, Mr. Whipple! I'll squeeze as much out of the Quilted Northern as I can.
stay safe.
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I had a box like that. 15 years later when I opened it I discovered an eight pound can of Winchester 231.
On the TP issue, I have found that it has a shelf life of about 6 months before it dries and becomes easy to poke through.