Post by: Winston Smith on August 31, 2006, 09:32:25 PM
Post by: Perd Hapley on September 01, 2006, 03:30:03 AM
Post by: Guest on September 01, 2006, 03:32:25 AM
Post by: K Frame on September 01, 2006, 03:56:53 AM
I'll go to my grave knowing that we were meant to be together.
Unfortunately, she never could quite reach the same conclusion. She came close, but after I had already given up on her and married someone else.
Post by: charby on September 01, 2006, 05:06:32 AM
My wife and I refer to each other as evil twins because we think the same way about 85% of the time.
-Charby
Post by: Moondoggie on September 01, 2006, 05:12:58 AM
My wife of 26 yrs is a "The One"...but it took us quite a few years to reach that realization. It was a bumpy road, but most definately worth the journey.
My first wife and I instantly thought that each of us was "The One" when first we met...in a bar, go figure. Lust at first sight. Damm, she was a major babe! The reality of living together was a harsh awakening. The psyche of divorce/failure/wasted opportunity and many yrs of child support left some marks.
I have met one other who was "The One", but as we were both already married I managed to hold myself back and maintain my honor (mostly).
Post by: BozemanMT on September 01, 2006, 05:20:25 AM
2 years ago i took a huge chance and went on a 600 mile away blind date (really!)
I knew instantly and I think so did she.
We were married 6 months later and as someone said earlier we are twins, we sometimes have teh same thoughts, the same interests, the same viewpoints, etc. It's actually a little scary.
Take the sex/lust out of the equation, ask yourself if you want to be sitting next to this person on teh couch talking about whatever when you are both 65.
If the answer is yes, you know what to do.
Post by: Bogie on September 01, 2006, 06:04:32 AM
Post by: trapperready on September 01, 2006, 06:07:40 AM
Now, when did I know this? Frankly, pretty early. Certainly within the first year we were dating.
Post by: Guest on September 01, 2006, 06:20:25 AM
Then, circumstances got in the way, we tried so hard to be in the same state but it didn't work fast enough.. I never even got enough time with her. I said goodbye when she was going onto a plane.. and it was a bigger goodbye than I ever thought. It turns out there was a free seat and if I had just said "maybe I can get on standby" things would have been so different. Everything could have been different except for a few stupid things that weren't done. We tried so hard and it's as if the universe threw everything in our way after that point. We made mistakes..
and now we're in horrible pain, still want each other, but the vase is cracked and she can't deal with it and swears that I should and will find someone else.
I almost wish I had never known her so that I wouldn't have relationships for the rest of my life ruined for me because nothing will ever come that close. I wish it wasn't so obvious that things could have been totally different so easily..
Soulmate? Yes. Soulmate, with the way everything went leading up to how we were going to be? Irreplacible, untoppable.
I think I'm going to take up drinking or hard drug use.
Post by: Winston Smith on September 01, 2006, 07:53:24 AM
Quote from: fistful
Winston's got a girlfriend, Winston's got a girlfriend.
Haha not even.I've known this girl for two and a half years. We've both come along way in that time. We were together for a short period last summer, but managed to cooperatively mess it up. She went to France to build a house basically. (She's a bit of a tomboy). She came back, and we saw each other. She is... SO. BEAUTIFUL. She's a couple inches taller than me, skinnny, red hair and freckles and green eyes. The other night, I told her I couldn't believe she found me attractive. She said she couldn't believe I found her attractive.
[sarcasm] And it's not like we're not attractive people, seriously. [/sarcasm] No but we are.
I can't remember knowing her and not loving her. I think I've dated a lot for my age. My career started when I was 14. I've been in love a few times, had long term (for my age) relationships, I've had some short things and a couple one nighters. I'm in college now. There are many, many opportunities. My school is 70% female. I'm not going to lie, I've taken a couple of those opportunities, but in the morning all I can think about is Andrea. I don't feel guilt, I just feel absolute love.
I'm a loner by nature. I'm a very social person, but I come to and leave parties alone. I'm sure you know the type. I know the absolute stupidity of having a monogamous relationship in a college that's 70% female... a relationship with a girl that lives 50 miles away when neither of us have cars.
But goddamnit I love her. I feel like any other monogamous relationship would be a compromise. I want to compare my experience with others to feel out the "deluding myself" factor.
Post by: client32 on September 01, 2006, 08:19:23 AM
Quote
Take the sex/lust out of the equation
Good advise, easier said than done.It is easy to get infatuated by someone/something and think you can't live without. Especially if this person/object is not around. Therefore, I would add to BozemanMT's advice and say that you need to get past the image that you have of her and make sure you aren't viewing through a filter so to speak.
My wife and I knew that we would work out pretty quick. I can't explain why or how.
Post by: Winston Smith on September 01, 2006, 08:22:51 AM
The living in the past equation is interesting, I'm going to think about that.
PS.
She's a gunny in training. I'm wearing the cartridge casings of the first two rounds she ever fired around my neck, and she has mine. .22s, of course.
Post by: K Frame on September 01, 2006, 09:49:26 AM
Red heads with green eyes.
That's who broke my heart...
Eileen...
Post by: charby on September 01, 2006, 09:58:09 AM
-C
Post by: RadioFreeSeaLab on September 01, 2006, 10:12:20 AM
Quote from: Bogie
First time I was In Love, she dumped me for another woman...
Oh, ouch.Quote from: Winston Smith
She's a couple inches taller than me, skinnny, red hair and freckles and green eyes.
Damn. That's just what I like.
Post by: Guest on September 01, 2006, 10:50:50 AM
Post by: grampster on September 01, 2006, 11:17:09 AM
Fast forward about a year. I'm in a local pub, off duty, nosing around and I see this pretty blonde lass that looked sort of familiar. I managed to finagle my way over to where she was and being the suave, debonair young turk that I was, in rather dulcet tones, with the smooth advanced vocabulatory delivery of the practiced rake I said, "Duh, you look familiar, do I know you?"
She looked me up and down as my poor heart raced, and she replied, "Yup, you're the dumb somonabehach that smashed up my car."
We got married about 6 months later. This October 8th it'll be 40 years.
Someday I'll tell you the story of when I took her on a date to see my granpap.
Post by: cosine on September 01, 2006, 11:19:58 AM
Quote from: grampster
Someday I'll tell you the story of when I took her on a date to see my granpap.
Today's a day that's as good as any!
Post by: BozemanMT on September 01, 2006, 12:35:22 PM
Quote from: trapperready
The bottom line is that I'm not a "people person". Acquaintances, friends, family, best friends, they all get on my nerves after a while. After some (often small) length of time, I'd just rather go do my own thing. The one notable exception to this is my wife. I could happily spend every second of the rest of my life in her company and enjoy the whole time. Other people... three days at the outside.
.
I showed this to my wife and she laughed and said THAT'S IT.
We're both hermits, but not around each other.
Oh winston, sorry, guys can't date women taller than them, never works.
Sorry, best move on
or grow taller.
:-)
Post by: Perd Hapley on September 01, 2006, 01:03:18 PM
On my first date with the wife, it was a good sign that we went out to eat and then to the bookstore/coffeeshop for a couple of hours, and then talked on her porch until midnight, at least. Then I was up all night thinking about her (no, not like that). I slept a couple of hours before I had to go to church the next morning, and then she sat next to me. It was also helpful that everybody supported us, from the church folks, to her students and co-workers, to the family members.
It would be a big job to describe all the factors that go into this "soul mate" thing. My wife and I just happen to be a lot alike, and pretty unlike other people. We're very weird, trust me. I guess some people are more attracted to opposites, though, so it depends on you.
What really depends on you is love. Love is not just a feeling or an impulse, it is a verb. You might start by being attracted to a girl, but the question is whether you will just take advantage of what she has to offer, or whether you will decide to love her. Love means making her more important than yourself, always seeking what's best for her, etc. Doesn't mean you bend over backwards to please her in every detail; but I think you get the point. On that basis, you can have a soul mate. Without it, you could lose a perfectly good one.
Post by: Jamisjockey on September 01, 2006, 01:06:27 PM
Post by: Monkeyleg on September 01, 2006, 01:19:56 PM
I've written a lot about my my wife and me lately, so I won't bore you with more details, except to say this: if you love her, don't let her get away. Even if you can get her back, it's a lot of work. I went through that with Debbie, and it was very painful.
You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to. Does your girlfriend know that you have sex with others? If not, you're asking for trouble. If you want your girlfriend, you have to make a choice between her or the rest of the female population.
My wife and I met when we were very young. I knew within a couple of weeks that we'd be together forever, or at least as long as I could keep her.
Sometimes things are that obvious.
Post by: Winston Smith on September 01, 2006, 01:37:26 PM
Quote
You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to. Does your girlfriend know that you have sex with others? If not, you're asking for trouble. If you want your girlfriend, you have to make a choice between her or the rest of the female population.
She's not my girlfriend. We're strictly friends till we sort things out. When the time comes, I will make that strong choice confidently.
Post by: Felonious Monk/Fignozzle on September 01, 2006, 01:47:45 PM
Quote from: BozemanMT
Take the sex/lust out of the equation, ask yourself if you want to be sitting next to this person on teh couch talking about whatever when you are both 65.
If the answer is yes, you know what to do.
+1, dude.
If the answer is yes, you know what to do.
Post by: pluvo on September 02, 2006, 02:33:26 PM
Quote from: Bogie
...she dumped me for another woman...
Been there, done that...twice.Let's just say I like to believe in the idea of a soulmate/true love/love at 1st sight and such, but the reality is that you roll the dice & take your chances & hope for the best.
At this point in the race I'd settle for a buddy & partner that's more or less my equal & sees things the same way I do.
I guess I'm looking for a gun-toting lesbian with a 4x4 who doesn't mind getting dirty.
Post by: Monkeyleg on September 02, 2006, 11:27:43 PM
Quote from: pluvo
Quote from: Bogie
...she dumped me for another woman...
Been there, done that...twice.Let's just say I like to believe in the idea of a soulmate/true love/love at 1st sight and such, but the reality is that you roll the dice & take your chances & hope for the best.
At this point in the race I'd settle for a buddy & partner that's more or less my equal & sees things the same way I do.
I guess I'm looking for a gun-toting lesbian with a 4x4 who doesn't mind getting dirty.
Post by: doughboy on September 03, 2006, 06:58:10 PM
Post by: Chris on September 03, 2006, 07:37:40 PM
It'll be 10 years next May. We've got a house, two kids, bills to pay, and she's still holding my hand, watching college football with me on the weekends.
If you've been friends first, and it feels right, take a chance. It's better to know than to always wonder "what if..."
Post by: Perd Hapley on September 03, 2006, 08:36:50 PM
Quote from: Monkeyleg
Pluvo, I probably know a woman (whatever) who fits that description, but do you really, really want to go down that road?
Sounds to me like Pluvo is a regular on that road and s/he is not who you think s/he is.
Post by: Winston Smith on September 03, 2006, 11:45:05 PM
She didn't want to until she was folding my clothes (She wouldn't let me stop her) and then she thought, "I could do this forever."
Ahhh so in love.
Post by: JAlexander on September 06, 2006, 12:55:04 PM
Quote from: grampster
Someday I'll tell you the story of when I took her on a date to see my granpap.
Well? What do we have to do, beg?James
Post by: ...has left the building. on September 06, 2006, 04:47:29 PM
I've found mine. Don't sweat possibly finding her so young. I met mine my freshman year and we got married before our junior year. We're still as in love as we were a few years ago. In fact, I'd say our relationship is even better. Anyway, there are a few things I've noticed for success:
-You both REALLY know how to communicate with each other. And you're always willing to talk about serious stuff, even if one of you "doesn't feel like it." This is a two-way street that is 1/3 respect, 1/3 adoration and 1/3 love. It can be a pain in the ass but it is good to talk things out.
-She loves you and appreciates you for who you really are. Like for example, my girl thought it was sexy that I was cleaning my new .357 and listening to Reverend Horton Heat. She would never pull a trigger on a .357 nor does she like psychobilly. But she could appreciate the "scene".
-You find each other attractive. This is underrated by most people when talking about the "One". Seriously dude, you have to find her attractive or it really won't work. This includes being able to tell her that she is beautiful when she is 60 and really mean it.
-Each of you knows when to take a stand and when to give in. And if you aren't sure about the boundaries, see the above regarding communication.
-Neither of you keep tabs. There is nothing worse than a person who counts how many times they did the dishes vs. how many times you did the dishes.
I'm probably babbling but don't worry bro, you'll know.
Post by: InfidelSerf on September 07, 2006, 04:43:20 AM
When it's genuine, it's the greatest feeling on earth.
As stated before if you are sure your not filtering them through the "up on a pedestal" view. Then your in good shape.
A far as living on a campus with contant temptation. If your heart is in the right place, then there won't be any temptation.
If you are tempted.. then either she isn't the one for you, or you haven't matured enough to recognise when "the one" is in front of you.
BTW what schools do you and Charby go to?
60-70% nice odds.
Post by: charby on September 08, 2006, 08:25:47 AM
Quote from: veloce851
.
BTW what schools do you and Charby go to? 60-70% nice odds.
I went to Univeristy of Northern Iowa for undergrad and grad school. You know the school that lost the Division I-AA championship game last fall.
BTW what schools do you and Charby go to?
60-70% nice odds.Post by: client32 on September 08, 2006, 08:57:32 AM
Quote
You know the school that lost the Division I-AA championship game last fall.
Sorry, but nobody knows. I did grad work at James Madison University. The school that won the Division 1-AA game in 2004. Nobody knows if it isn't in the immediate area.
Post by: charby on September 08, 2006, 09:20:29 AM
...but they sure liked to come and party at our campus due to the numbers of female coeds.
Post by: Guest on September 08, 2006, 01:09:51 PM
Yup.
You can guess what's coming, right?
Too obvious?
...that they were solemates?
Post by: Trisha on September 08, 2006, 01:22:15 PM
It is a necessary, healthy occurrance.
Winston -
Your life is demarcated into before gf; and with gf.
It occasionally happens that some also highlight the calender boldly: After gf.
Good luck. After seeing the veneral diseases that came to inhabit sad souls out of shore leave @ Pattia Beach (one soul's tests came back positive w/23. . .). . .
Ah, the smell of true love, yes?
Take care (and bon appetit!).
Post by: Antibubba on September 08, 2006, 06:48:14 PM
Post by: Winston Smith on September 08, 2006, 06:56:05 PM
Quote from: Antibubba
Jim, that pun goes where even I dare not tread.
KILL IT WITH FIRE
Post by: Stickjockey on September 09, 2006, 05:08:28 AM
Post by: stevelyn on September 10, 2006, 04:01:28 AM
No such animal exists, but congratulations anyway.
Plan your exit stratagey yet?
Post by: Headless Thompson Gunner on September 10, 2006, 02:31:24 PM
Quote from: stevelyn
The One or soul mates.
No such animal exists, but congratulations anyway.
Plan your exit stratagey yet?
And I thought I was cynical...No such animal exists, but congratulations anyway.
Plan your exit stratagey yet?
What was her name?
Post by: stevelyn on September 11, 2006, 03:38:52 AM
Quote
What was her name?
More like what were their names?I seem to attract the mental cases. Only two managed to cost me significant money before I learned my lesson.
Post by: Hutch on September 11, 2006, 08:30:27 AM
The person you become has a lot to do with who you're with during the journey.
Man this all sounds trite. Guess I'll never be an author.