Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 12:00:08 PM
1. Employed and able to support herself. Any employment qualifies except military or similar government service.
2. Libertarian or classically liberal in her views. Not supportive or left or right wing authoritarian views.
3. Even-tempered, not given to psychotic fits. Treats friends and family better than outsiders.
For the record, I can think of several women and even more men who fit the first three criteria.) The next points narrow the field a little.
4. Has no children of her own, is not raising anyone else's kids. Able and willing to have children later in life.
5. Is in good health, not obese or otherwise physically disabled. Does not smoke or drink to intoxication and loss of self-control.
6. If not American or Commonwealth born, speaks servicable English.
These additional parameters seem to rule out pretty much all women I know and most men. Either I am not aware of women who fit all of these parameters or they do not exist. I am curious which it is.
Post by: grampster on November 06, 2006, 12:02:21 PM
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 12:03:16 PM
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 12:12:29 PM
Post by: El Tejon on November 06, 2006, 12:20:11 PM
Post by: BillBlank on November 06, 2006, 12:37:24 PM
Badger, you're honest to a fault sir.
Post by: Headless Thompson Gunner on November 06, 2006, 12:40:14 PM
One of life's great paradoxes is that the moment you stop looking for love, love comes looking for you. Don't lose any sleep over it. If it's meant to be, it'll happen without any effort from you. In fact, it'll probably happen in spite of your best efforts to prevent it.
Post by: SomeKid on November 06, 2006, 12:42:07 PM
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 12:43:03 PM
Post by: Monkeyleg on November 06, 2006, 12:57:37 PM
My wife meets most, but not all. And I consider myself lucky.
Back in my dating days, I met a lot of young women who were wacko's.
"Even-tempered" can mean a lot of things. Anytime you're in a serious relationship, you're going to have differences. In my relationship with my wife, she keeps things in for a long time, and then lets them out all at once. It can be pretty unnerving.
I hired my ex-assistant back in 1992. He decided that he wanted to find a woman for marriage. He had some pretty remarkable conditions: she must either have a well-paying job, or be in school for a job that will pay well; she must like kids and want to have several; she must be a virgin; she must be physically fit, and never get fat.
I thought he was nuts. But, he found a young woman who was going to school to be a physical therapist, loved kids, had never dated, was slim, and got a reasonable amount of exercise.
My ex-assistant is such a demanding type, though, that I often wonder how happy she is.
Post by: Guest on November 06, 2006, 12:59:30 PM
She manages a clinic, makes a pretty good living doing so ($50k +bonuses), this is a job she has on her own merits as she is still in college. I would describe her as "classicaly liberal" she doesnt support any really extreme views and kinda dislikes politics in general, she is firmly against gun control recognizing that the RKBA is the strongest check againt tyrany, but dissaproves of the Iraq war (and war in general as she has had direct experience as an uninvolved bystander), is always wary of the government, assuming that too much government can (and does) lead to loss of individual freedom. She also is not a fan of American military foreign policy, her and her family were among the innocent victims of this policy under Clinton and generally feels that our military should not be enforcing policy anywhere. She has no children, doesnt want any *yet* but does want some eventually. She is one of the most physically attractive women I have ever met, tall and slim with dark hair in a classic European appearance. She is a naturalized citizen from an Eastern European country but speaks barely accented English better than a lot of American born people, and she is painfully intelligent (but doesnt really realize it). Like most Eastern Europeans her loyalty to a very select group of friends is seconded only to that of her family (which includes distant cousins by marriage), she has a lot of "regular" friends but they are held in a seperate status from her closest friends for whom there is little limit to the lengths she would go to help them. She does smoke though, but will likely quit in the very near future.
Though we arent biologically related she is essentially my adopted sister, so our relationship is very close but not romantic or physical. While I have not ever met another woman like her, the fact that one exists would indicate to me that there are more, but it might require a "perfect storm" of life influences to create such a person. She did not have a good childhood and had to grow up by about the age of 12, and suffered a number of the sort of traumas that can either make or break a person. She lucked out and met some of the right people at the right time in her life to end up the way she did, things could just as easily have gone another way. I guess when you have a rare person like her who has the good fortune of meeting people who are rare in their decency good things can happen, doesnt happen often though.
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 01:05:24 PM
PS: I notice that a lot of East Europeans have the views compatible with mine...maybe acquired from personal experience with the "utopias".
Post by: Headless Thompson Gunner on November 06, 2006, 01:08:39 PM
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 01:15:09 PM
A wider search turned up almost no matches outside the coasts.
Post by: charby on November 06, 2006, 01:16:01 PM
Sounds like you better find a western cattle ranchers daughter.
-C
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 01:19:49 PM
Post by: Brad Johnson on November 06, 2006, 01:39:19 PM
Quote
Oh, sure, they exist but they have all met El Tejon and left enraged lesbians.
El T, you owe me a keyboard...
Brad
p.s. - Oleg, if you find someone with the above criteria that's around, oh, 37-40, send me her number.
Post by: CAnnoneer on November 06, 2006, 01:45:48 PM
Post by: lumpy on November 06, 2006, 01:46:01 PM
Post by: garyk/nm on November 06, 2006, 02:41:08 PM
Post by: Guest on November 06, 2006, 02:41:46 PM
On the other hand, you're not buying a car where you'll be able to specify the make, model and milage. You're looking for a person and the one you end up with could be a chubby, Catholic with a set of twins..life is funny like that.
Either way, good luck, my friend. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Post by: K Frame on November 06, 2006, 02:59:02 PM
Post by: Perd Hapley on November 06, 2006, 03:17:59 PM
Post by: Guest on November 06, 2006, 03:26:23 PM
Doesn't want to run my life.
Doesn't want me to run his life.
Doesn't annoy me.
Isn't annoyed by me.
Heh..who am I kidding? That person doesn't exist.
Post by: grampster on November 06, 2006, 03:28:55 PM
When I was a lad just getting interested in girls, my grammaw told me about her brother who was very picky about his women. She said that she told him that he "was gonna pick and pick till he picked s***." She said he wound up with an awful woman. I have found in my 63 years that when one gets too picky about anything, there is geometric progression of Murphy's Law becoming ascendant.
There was a time in my life, around 1964, '65 when I was in LE and working crappy shifts and weekends, when all my friends were going to Viet Nam or had gotten married, or had decent working hours. I was single, into the bar scene etc. I found myself getting lonely in the midst of many people. I couldn't find an interesting girl to save my leg. Then one night while pursuing some miscreants in a vehicle, I collided with a car that turned left as I was passing her. I had on my overhead, but no siren. Just a piece of dumb luck. The driver of the car was an amazingly feisty blonde. Her first words to me, a uniformed police officer, was..."You dumb Sonuvabehach, look what you did to my car." Several months later, I saw this pretty lady at a local club. She looked familiar. I sidled up and said, "you look familiar, have we met?" She looked me up and down and said, "You betcha, you're the dumb sonuvabehatch that smashed up my car." We got married in October 1966. Last month it was 40 years, Oleg.
I think, Oleg, if you don't concentrate too much on your shopping list, and just go about the mundane business of life, you may be lucky enough to stumble into someone. To quote those old and respected soothsayers, The Rolling Stones..."You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need."
Post by: K Frame on November 06, 2006, 04:24:37 PM
No, you are in a class all by yourself, and there you shall remain.
Post by: Lee on November 06, 2006, 04:47:42 PM
Post by: Guest on November 06, 2006, 05:36:02 PM
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 06, 2006, 06:38:56 PM
Lee, Amish Bill called it "finding a partner with mutually attractive disfunctions."
Post by: Antibubba on November 06, 2006, 07:46:59 PM
If you'll let me visit you a few times a year, I'll marry you.
Post by: Standing Wolf on November 06, 2006, 10:29:43 PM
His main variant upon that theme was: "You don't always get what you pay for, but you never get what you don't pay for."
He used to tell me to make lists: what I wanted, what I hoped for, what I feared, what I was and wasn't willing to do to achieve what I wanted, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. To the extent that I stopped drawing up mental lists and actually exercised pen and paper, then took action, lists worked for me with truly amazing effectiveness.
Oleg, I've no doubt the sort of woman you're interested in not only exists, but could be found if you were to adopt an orderly, logical, efficient process: an "engineering process," as it were. Being a marketing and advertising guy, I tend to see it as a marketing and advertising challenge, though I'm sure my view's not congruent with yours to one degree or another.
Seems to me if you have a popular web site or two, you might start advertising on them.
All that said", I feel honor-bound to mention one more thing Jim used to tell me: "Be careful what you pray for, because you just might get it."
One of the great joys of getting old, I've found, is that I don't still want much very earnestly. I managed to get a lot of what I want, and some of it's worth having; the intensity with which I wanted it, however, led me this way, that way, and every other whichway except where I've actually been going all this time.
I'll wish you the best of success, and hope you succeed reasonably well, but not too well.
Post by: Guest on November 07, 2006, 01:41:20 AM
I already proposed to GrislyAtoms last week.
Post by: 280plus on November 07, 2006, 02:47:52 AM
Hey Barbara, can we have an old fashioned shotgun shootin' in the air hootenanny for the wedding reception?
Post by: CatsDieNow on November 07, 2006, 04:22:05 AM
(I was taken off the market in June, though).Personally, I think you should stop looking and trying too hard. Every relationship I have been in came as a fortuitous opportunity rather than something that I saw coming down the pipe.
Post by: charby on November 07, 2006, 04:56:34 AM
When I first met my wife it was at a conference drinking with friends in our motel, in the evenings after the dinner and crap is over with it pretty much is a big cocktail party where everyone leaves their rooms open. I went walking in search of more ice or something and this woman started talking to me in the hall. I had long hair down past my shoulders at the time and she was a bit tipsy and asked to braid my hair into pig tails. Nothing more than that happened that night. I was pretty happy being single and had a "friend" that I could call at anytime, so I wasn't interested in anything more than being acquaintances.
At breakfast she asked me for my phone number and email, so I reluctantly gave her mine then gave me hers. Well a couple months went by and I dropped her an email to see how she was doing. We chatted back and forth on the phone and email for the next couple of months. I was going to a family function in the town she lived in (90 miles from me) and wanted to see if she wanted to go out for a few drinks and dinner while I was in town. I wasn't even looking for a relationship potential and she swears she wasn't either, but something happened that night and we have been together ever since. Kind of funny because because both of us were quite happy being single before that night.
I used to have a list of what I thought wanted in a woman, She doesn't even fit half of my list and I'm very happy with that too. She is so much more than the list I had.
-C
Post by: Stickjockey on November 07, 2006, 05:00:58 AM
Quote from: Monkeyleg
My wife meets most, but not all. And I consider myself lucky.
Same boat here.
Quote from: Oleg
Trying to decide if I should even bother looking for a mate.
My answer to this would be no. I met my wife while I was not only not looking, but actively notlooking. I'm not sure what the rationale is, but it seems that when you're not looking for it, it starts looking for you.
Post by: roo_ster on November 07, 2006, 05:18:49 AM
Oleg, your list narrows down the field considerably...but your desire for irreligiosity pretty much leaves the endeavor in the realm of fantasy and Ayn Rand novels. If you hadn't listed the irreligiosity part, I would have said, "Go to your nearest evangelical, theologically conservative church and participate in all the activities." You'd be most likely to find a match, there. Truthfully, I doubt you will be able to find such a gal even at a Libertarian Party convention.
I would think your only slim hope at checking off those boxes would be someone with a background similar to yours.
Good luck. I wouldn't search too hard, however. Folks doing that give off a whiff of desperation that the opposite sex can detect and it usually makes them run off.
Post by: Phantom Warrior on November 07, 2006, 06:43:41 AM
I have been looking, not looking, and violently notlooking for about six and a half years. I have been 100% unsucessful with women that met my criteria, women that didn't, and women that came no where near it. All women I have found very attractive, for whatever reason.
Women are trouble and nothing but. Cynic, out.
Post by: Headless Thompson Gunner on November 07, 2006, 07:21:01 AM
Women are trouble and nothing but. Cynic, out.
Heh... One of these days you're going to be proven wildly, fantastically, famously wrong. Domestic bliss is going appear out of nowhere and smack you upside the head. You'll choke on those words.
Post by: lumpy on November 07, 2006, 08:30:11 AM
Post by: DrAmazon on November 07, 2006, 09:13:33 AM
1. Yes, unless teaching for a state supported university doesn't count. In theory I could restrict myself to only private colleges, I just haven't had the luxury of being that picky yet.
2. I'm somewhere in the blur where I'm mostly socially libertarian and fiscally conservative. I'd like to see my government stick to the constitution and leave the rest for us to take care of either ourselves or thorough organizations/charities that the we set up, support financially and operate.
3. I can't really answer 3. I think that I meet that description, but I'm sure that my ex-husband and a few ex-boyfriends would strongly disagree. My "fits" tend to be mostly self directed-I get most upset with myself when I feel that I'm not measuring up to my own expectations of myself. I'm getting better about it.
4. None of my own, not raising anyone elses. I do still want to have children and as far as I know I am still able, but I am in my mid-30s, so who knows for sure.
5. Mostly healthy, and height-weight proportionate (can't spell today). I feel that I'm out of shape right now, but refer to answer 3. I do drink socially, in my past I have been known to drink to loss of self-control, but I'm far more careful now.
6. American born.
BUT, I'm a practicing Roman Catholic. (I can hear the game show loser sound in the background).
Standing Wolf and Justin both know me and I give them permission to comment.
Post by: Oleg Volk on November 07, 2006, 09:50:02 AM
Post by: Stetson on November 07, 2006, 10:22:38 AM
She is very gainfully employed, doesn't cling, is independant but not a feminist(the bad kind), doesn't smoke, exercises and is single.
Post by: Eleven Mike on November 07, 2006, 11:12:11 AM
Post by: lumpy on November 07, 2006, 11:24:26 AM
Quote
I forgot one other criterion...this one pretty much removes all US contenders: preferably not religious.
My wife still fits the bill and she is American... damn life is good.
Post by: Standing Wolf on November 07, 2006, 12:12:47 PM
Quote
Standing Wolf and Justin both know me and I give them permission to comment.
To the best of my knowledge, Dr. Amazon speaks the truth about herself.
I've always been glad she's quite a few years younger than I and religious, or this old atheist would have... Well, on second thought, I'll just leave myself out of this discussion.
In full seriousness, Oleg: I don't see your criteria as excessively demanding at all, nor do I have any doubt women meeting them are to be found here, there, and a few dozen other places. Abundant? No, they're probably not; conversely, neither are men capable of appreciating them.
You'll do fine; how soon you'll realize it is another story.
Post by: Antibubba on November 07, 2006, 07:16:01 PM
Quote
Antibubba.
I already proposed to GrislyAtoms last week.
I already proposed to GrislyAtoms last week.
As I said, I would visit just a few times a year.
I have no problems with a timeshare, as long as it's clean and has a good view.
Post by: DrAmazon on November 08, 2006, 03:30:11 AM
I've always been glad she's quite a few years younger than I and religious, or this old atheist would have... Well, on second thought, I'll just leave myself out of this discussion.
[/quote]
Thanks, Wolf. Shame we don't have the blushing smiliey face on this forum...
Post by: French G. on November 08, 2006, 06:40:04 AM
She is a wild one, that is for sure. The more she pays in taxes the less big L liberal she becomes, living in the sticks with 1 hour+ police response has toned her down on the anti-gun thing pretty good too.
Post by: The Sage of Seattle on November 09, 2006, 01:27:49 PM
For a long time, I have just stopped seeking out female companionship, though I still want it. The thing is, I feel like I need to keep myself open to what life offers and not discard a possible successful relationship just because she doesn't fit my preconceived criteria. I make plans, sure, but I try not to become upset when they never happen the way I want them to. I think ultimately that I've done my best to make peace with the idea that I may never have the kind of loving relationship that some have displayed on this forum (and others I know in real life), yet it never stops me from taking the risk each and every time. It hurts when I'm rejected, but I feel like I will never have the opportunity to have that love unless I continue to risk.
At any rate, I'm rambling now, so I'll just post a lame poem I wrote a few weeks ago for one of my other married friend's birthday. She and I still have a unique relationship that she hasn't been able to find with anyone else, even her husband, which I cherish. So I try to focus on the friends and love I DO have and not so much on the friends and love I WISH I had.
For what it's worth, here it is:
Ten thousand trees frozen, just about to crack
This lone tree only, warm, reviving
In the village nearby, deep in snow
Amazing beauty and grace yet surviving
Breezes waft the hidden fragrance
Next year again, if it's true to season
The cherry blossoms will open their petals
Revealing their wisdom beyond reason
I've not ceased dreaming and desiring
Yet I take what comes and am never in doubt
For the warmth and love of family and friends
Makes me complete, within and without
Once you've passed the age of understanding
Be as water's gentle force
And without words you may smile softly
And stop trying to change destiny's course