Post by: Perd Hapley on January 21, 2007, 07:15:33 PM
General:
Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.
Colonel:
Leaps over short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, and talks to God.
Lieutenant Colonel:
Leaps over short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is as fast as a speeding b-b, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if special request is approved.
Major:
Barely clears quonset huts, loses tug-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occassionally addressed by God.
Captain:
Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can someimes handle a weapon without inflicting self-injury, can doggie-paddle, and talks to animals.
First Lieutenant:
Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.
Second Lieutenant:
Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says "look at the choo-choo," wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.
CADET:
UNAUTHORIZED TO DO ANY OF THE ABOVE WITHOUT RTO/BTO APPROVAL, BUT BE READY TO ASSUME THE JOB OF GENERAL IN A HEARTBEAT.
An NCO:
Lifts building and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth, and chews them, and freezes water in a speeding glance. He is God.
Post by: cosine on January 21, 2007, 07:26:01 PM
It is one of the few jokes that while reading it I actually, truly, laughed out loud.
No experience with anything of the previous post, but I still can enjoy the humor!
Post by: RocketMan on January 21, 2007, 07:30:00 PM
Post by: Matthew Carberry on January 21, 2007, 09:39:13 PM
Post by: RocketMan on January 21, 2007, 09:42:39 PM
The worst part of getting out after 5 years as a Marine Sergeant was having the testicle reduction before they would release me back into the civilian population.
They did that to you, too, huh? Not just an "Old Corps" thing.Post by: Matthew Carberry on January 21, 2007, 09:55:14 PM
Post by: crashresidue on January 21, 2007, 11:00:15 PM
They used to tell me that the most dangerous thing was a 2nd LT with a map - WRONG - it was a 2lt with a map and a radio tuned to artillery freq's. Trust me on this one - it was suicide!
Blue Max 68-P2
cr
Post by: Perd Hapley on January 22, 2007, 02:50:40 AM
Why don't you submit an entry for the Warrant Officer?
Post by: Gewehr98 on January 22, 2007, 06:18:09 PM
Some things will never change.
One of my retirement gifts from the guys who remembered I'd been SACumcised many years ago:
Post by: RocketMan on January 22, 2007, 08:23:16 PM
Took me awhile to learn to walk without the counter-balancing swing and I had to have all my pants taken in.
At least we don't set off airport metal detectors anymore.
Post by: richyoung on January 23, 2007, 04:35:36 AM
Saw it before, and still enjoy it.
Some things will never change.
One of my retirement gifts from the guys who remembered I'd been SACumcised many years ago:
Some things will never change.
One of my retirement gifts from the guys who remembered I'd been SACumcised many years ago:
Are those 5881s out of B-52 servos? Those are some good sounding tubes in guitar amps if they are....
Post by: Gewehr98 on January 23, 2007, 05:06:15 AM
I had to source a digital-to-analog converter in the last few weeks so I could listen to my Hitachi HDTV and HD cable box through the tube amp. Talk about taking a step backwards...
Here's one of my Air Force vacuum tube goodies, all 28 tubes in one nice Hammarlund package:
Post by: Perd Hapley on January 23, 2007, 05:11:37 AM
You're not allowed to talk about things that are over my head in my own thread.
Post by: wmenorr67 on January 23, 2007, 05:17:56 AM
Post by: Gewehr98 on January 23, 2007, 06:38:50 AM
Part of my "brainwashing", being a former member of SAC, military humor and all.
There's an old saying out there:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
In SAC, we had a different version:
"Hold his head underwater and suck on his butt... the water will flow".
Just playing into Ezekiel's hands with my brainwashing - to the point that my alert phone is still very much a part of my life. It's wired into the house phone system, and still makes me jump every time it rings.
The tubes are just a part of the bazillion sitting here on my computer desk. I couldn't crop them out or move them when I took the pic of my alert phone.
Post by: doczinn on January 23, 2007, 08:08:01 AM
Quote
What's a SAC?
That thing they have to surgically reduce on all EASing Marine Sergeants.