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Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: MillCreek on November 26, 2018, 11:09:28 AM

Title: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: MillCreek on November 26, 2018, 11:09:28 AM: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7829159/the-horrifying-story-of-a-prostitute-orangutan-who-was-chained-to-a-bed-shaved-daily-and-forced-to-perform-sex-acts-on-men-twice-her-size/

I sincerely hope this is satire.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: MechAg94 on November 26, 2018, 12:06:22 PM: I would hope so as well. Various off-color jokes comes to mind, but I'll refrain since this could possibly be true.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: Ben on November 26, 2018, 12:14:56 PM: Quote from: MechAg94 on November 26, 2018, 12:06:22 PM
but I'll refrain since this could possibly be true.

How sad a commentary on modern society is it that probably most of us think this might be true?

Calling RKL's plague. RKL's plague to the white courtesy phone please.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: MechAg94 on November 26, 2018, 12:47:43 PM: Quote from: Ben on November 26, 2018, 12:14:56 PM
How sad a commentary on modern society is it that probably most of us think this might be true?

Calling RKL's plague. RKL's plague to the white courtesy phone please.
I guess if it was an article about women being treated this way, would you believe it? I am not sure adding animals to the story makes it worse, just more weird.
Title: Re: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: lupinus on November 26, 2018, 01:26:52 PM: Quote from: Ben on November 26, 2018, 12:14:56 PM
How sad a commentary on modern society is it that probably most of us think this might be true?

Calling RKL's plague. RKL's plague to the white courtesy phone please.
Considering animals have been trained for millennia to cater to the whims of sick *expletive deleted*s, I fail to see what modern society has to do with it. Some humans are, and always have been, downright sick. I hope they caught some weird monkey disease that rots off their pecker. Nasty bastards.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: just Warren on November 26, 2018, 01:47:35 PM: I'm certainly no fan of this sort of monkey business!
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on November 26, 2018, 05:25:02 PM: [barf]
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: charby on November 26, 2018, 05:36:50 PM: Quote from: MillCreek on November 26, 2018, 11:09:28 AM

I sincerely hope this is satire.

Nope, quite a few articles over the years about comfort orangutan in bordellos.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: Ben on November 27, 2018, 03:35:11 PM: Yeah, apparently John McAfee is back in the news...

https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2018/11/27/wait-wut-john-mcafee-tweets-about-having-sex-with-whales-and-there-are-no-words-to-describe-the-thread-that-follows/
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: 230RN on November 27, 2018, 03:55:24 PM: "-having-sex-with-whales-"

That's enough for me. 'Bye.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: dogmush on November 27, 2018, 06:05:26 PM: Quote from: charby on November 26, 2018, 05:36:50 PM
Nope, quite a few articles over the years about comfort orangutan in bordellos.

A phenomenon I was quite happy not knowing about.

Just ewww.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: just Warren on November 27, 2018, 06:31:42 PM: It's the damn patriarchal ape culture!
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: RoadKingLarry on November 27, 2018, 06:37:17 PM: (https://farm1.staticflickr.com/395/32465264195_7fd9e02a93_m.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/RsQXYp)
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: freakazoid on November 27, 2018, 06:39:07 PM: Quote from: Ben on November 27, 2018, 03:35:11 PM
Yeah, apparently John McAfee is back in the news...

https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2018/11/27/wait-wut-john-mcafee-tweets-about-having-sex-with-whales-and-there-are-no-words-to-describe-the-thread-that-follows/

Best comment:
Quote
"The sea was angry that day, my friends!"
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: MillCreek on November 27, 2018, 09:06:35 PM: Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: Andiron on November 27, 2018, 09:20:29 PM: Quote from: 230RN on November 27, 2018, 03:55:24 PM
"-having-sex-with-whales-"

That's enough for me. 'Bye.

Buddies from my time in Jacksonville called it hoggin'.

Wait... they mean LITERAL whales?
Title: Re: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: lupinus on November 27, 2018, 10:49:34 PM: Quote from: Andiron on November 27, 2018, 09:20:29 PM
Buddies from my time in Jacksonville called it hoggin'.

Wait... they mean LITERAL whales?
A literal whale just seems like it'd be a might.....roomy.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: makattak on November 28, 2018, 02:05:41 PM: You know, the list of "Things I never wanted to know about" is increasingly made up of "Things Millcreek posted"....
Title: Re: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: 230RN on November 28, 2018, 02:22:41 PM: Quote from: lupinus on November 27, 2018, 10:49:34 PM
A literal whale just seems like it'd be a might.....roomy.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Well, there's the blowhole.

Oh, Lord, I'm sorry. Will 3 Our Fathers, 10 Hail Marys and an Act Of Contrition do it?
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: just Warren on November 28, 2018, 02:37:34 PM: EXT, ON THE BEACH, DAYTIME

A SEVERELY BROKEN AND ABUSED BODY OF A MAN HAS WASHED ASHORE

VAGUELY ETHNIC DETECTIVE: Hey, isn't that the guy who claims to have sex with whales?

INTENSE RED-HAIRED CHIEF DETECTIVE: Yes, yes it is.

VAGUELY ETHNIC DETECTIVE: Wow, what did this to him?

INTENSE RED-HAIRED CHIEF DETECTIVE: It looks like *puts on sunglasses* a Humpback.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: Angel Eyes on November 28, 2018, 03:20:28 PM: Quote from: Warren on November 28, 2018, 02:37:34 PM
EXT, ON THE BEACH, DAYTIME

A SEVERELY BROKEN AND ABUSED BODY OF A MAN HAS WASHED ASHORE

VAGUELY ETHNIC DETECTIVE: Hey, isn't that the guy who claims to have sex with whales?

INTENSE RED-HAIRED CHIEF DETECTIVE: Yes, yes it is.

VAGUELY ETHNIC DETECTIVE: Wow, what did this to him?

INTENSE RED-HAIRED CHIEF DETECTIVE: It looks like *puts on sunglasses* a Humpback.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: HeroHog on November 28, 2018, 06:25:52 PM: Quote from: Warren on November 28, 2018, 02:37:34 PM
EXT, ON THE BEACH, DAYTIME

A SEVERELY BROKEN AND ABUSED BODY OF A MAN HAS WASHED ASHORE

VAGUELY ETHNIC DETECTIVE: Hey, isn't that the guy who claims to have sex with whales?

INTENSE RED-HAIRED CHIEF DETECTIVE: Yes, yes it is.

VAGUELY ETHNIC DETECTIVE: Wow, what did this to him?

INTENSE RED-HAIRED CHIEF DETECTIVE: It looks like *puts on sunglasses* a Humpback.

Stealing, Facebooking, giving you VERY vague credit, so sue me! ;)
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: BlueStarLizzard on November 28, 2018, 06:27:15 PM: Quote from: makattak on November 28, 2018, 02:05:41 PM
You know, the list of "Things I never wanted to know about" is increasingly made up of "Things Millcreek posted"....

We can always go back to "Things Viking posted".
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: Scout26 on November 28, 2018, 06:53:08 PM: Everyone here realizes that The Sun is like the British version of The National Enquirer.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: MillCreek on November 28, 2018, 07:43:56 PM: Quote from: makattak on November 28, 2018, 02:05:41 PM
You know, the list of "Things I never wanted to know about" is increasingly made up of "Things Millcreek posted"....

Blame my Drudge Report newsfeed.
Title: Re: Add this to the list of things I never wanted to learn about
Post by: 230RN on November 28, 2018, 09:38:37 PM: Quote from: MillCreek on November 28, 2018, 07:43:56 PM
Blame my Drudge Report newsfeed.

"My car ran off the road and hit the tree."