Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: MillCreek on November 14, 2019, 10:17:35 AM
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Dear patient, thank you for the hand-written complaint form. It was a little bit hard to read, with the red ink, all caps, and squeezing as much material as possible into the text box. You are unhappy that my nurse practitioner did not give you a referral to have a MRI done of your leg. You state that an illegal microchip has been implanted into your leg. The chip is causing you pain and is connected to a stolen satellite from Fort Lewis. Someone at Fort Lewis is using the satellite and chip to move your body. The MRI will confirm the chip is there.
Dear patient, you don't need a MRI. You need a Bowie knife, bottle of whiskey and some hot iron to dig out that chip. Use the whiskey for anesthetic and sterilization of the skin surface, the knife can remove the chip and the hot iron can cauterize the wound and then splash some more whiskey on it. Hundreds of Western movies can't be wrong.
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It is very simple, you can't get an MRI with many of the current implants and without knowing what his implant is made from there is no way you could risk his well being by placing him into a magnet. So, your plan sounds as though it may be the best approach. ;)
bob
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Psychiatric MRI?
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Did you by chance get the freq and/or access codes for the chip? Asking for a friend. >:D
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Slight thread drift Re: MRI.
I've got a titanium hip, can I get an MRI on a shoulder?
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Don't be too hard on him. He can't control that he came into your office. The satellite sent him there.
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Slight thread drift Re: MRI.
I've got a titanium hip, can I get an MRI on a shoulder?
Short answer: Most likely leaning heavily toward yes.
Longer answer: Getting a shoulder MRI following hip replacement is usually allowed, most (all) hip prosthesis these days are compatible with MRIs. I believe all joint prosthesis these days are non-ferrous metal, along with dental implants, plates, screws and rods to fix fractures. If you had any metal placed in your eyes, pacemaker, cardiac valves or metal in your brain you would not be able to get an MRI.
bob
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Slight thread drift Re: MRI.
I've got a titanium hip, can I get an MRI on a shoulder?
Titanium *should* be okay, but it might get warm from eddy currents. But maybe there were some implants that aren't; make sure the doc knows about it.
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Dear patient, thank you for the hand-written complaint form. It was a little bit hard to read, with the red ink, all caps, and squeezing as much material as possible into the text box. You are unhappy that my nurse practitioner did not give you a referral to have a MRI done of your leg. You state that an illegal microchip has been implanted into your leg. The chip is causing you pain and is connected to a stolen satellite from Fort Lewis. Someone at Fort Lewis is using the satellite and chip to move your body. The MRI will confirm the chip is there.
Ask her about UFO abductions.
Dear patient, you don't need a MRI. You need a Bowie knife, bottle of whiskey and some hot iron to dig out that chip. Use the whiskey for anesthetic and sterilization of the skin surface, the knife can remove the chip and the hot iron can cauterize the wound and then splash some more whiskey on it. Hundreds of Western movies can't be wrong.
Don't actually say that, out loud. She might actually try it.
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Dear patient, you don't need a MRI. You need a Bowie knife, bottle of whiskey and some hot iron to dig out that chip. Use the whiskey for anesthetic and sterilization of the skin surface, the knife can remove the chip and the hot iron can cauterize the wound and then splash some more whiskey on it. Hundreds of Western movies can't be wrong.
A more modern solution is to:
1. remove magnetron from microwave oven.
2. plug rewire it so that you can use the oven case to control it.
3. turn on "high" for 10 minutes.
4. Rub it all over your body.
5. The microwaves will kill the chip.
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Ask her about UFO abductions.
Don't actually say that, out loud. She might actually try it.
Do say that out loud, video it and post to You Tube...... make drinking money! Win-Win. ;)
bob
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. . . If you had any metal placed in your eyes, pacemaker, cardiac valves or metal in your brain you would not be able to get an MRI . . .
Depends on the metal - some metallic objects (like certain kinds of stents) are generally MRI-compatible.
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What's the frequency, Kenneth?
"MRI"
Look, I keep telling you jackwads, I'm not a health care service provider. I don't play one on TV, and I didn't stay at a Best Western last night, and I sure as *expletive deleted*it don't want to look at any of you.
Sincerely,
Michael R Irwin
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... and I didn't stay at a Best Western last night,
Well there's your problem. It was supposed to be a Holiday Inn Express.
Brad
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Depends on the metal - some metallic objects (like certain kinds of stents) are generally MRI-compatible.
Heavy Metal.
(https://heavymetalhill.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/20121207-093402.jpg?w=723)
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My extensive experience interacting with people having "chips" implanted reveals that almost all have had the chip implanted in a tooth or the forehead.
The leg is novel, so perhaps true.
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My extensive experience interacting with people having "chips" implanted reveals that almost all have had the chip implanted in a tooth or the forehead.
The leg is novel, so perhaps true.
MK Ultra never goes for the head or tooth anymore. They know we're on to them.
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Back in the days I followed Usenet, there was the person in one of them called Nancy Luft, with similar delusions.
Famous enough to be remembered: http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2011/09/245-nancy-luft.html (http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2011/09/245-nancy-luft.html). It's them Roosian Sputnik forces.
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Ask him if he can get Disney+ for free on that thing
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Wear this, it will nullify the phycotronic rays, problem solved.
(https://blindgossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/man-tin-foil-suit.jpg)
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Seren insists that someone implanted a chip in her.
She's actually correct...
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Seren insists that someone implanted a chip in her.
She's actually correct...
But we all know who is controlling who in your case.
Seren commands you to go for a walk
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I have a family member who is now on medication and doing ok.
When she initially started deterieating she insisted that somebody had put an implant in her dog so they could monitor her using the dog. Lots of weird stuff like "they" were switching the dogs food etc.
Her paranoia made her poor little dog a bit neurotic.
So happy they stabilized her and she takes her meds.
It was bizarre, we would be having a perfectly normal mundane conversation then she would just spout the various crazy stuff, sort of matter of fact without skipping a beat. If you tried to get her to elaborate she would get angry and defiant. She even accused family as being part of the conspiracy.
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Can you refer the patient to a psychiatrist? ???
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Can you refer the patient to a psychiatrist? ???
They probably won't take the suggestion well. (But their long suffering relatives will.)
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*shrug* Actually, I'd vote to give him an MRI (or at least some kind of imaging of his leg)
Just because he's nuttier than squirrel poop in the Planter's factory, it doesn't mean that he's lying about the pain. There really might be something wrong with the leg. Doubtful it's a satellite controlled chip, but that doesn't rule out something like injury or tumor or whatever.
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*shrug* Actually, I'd vote to give him an MRI (or at least some kind of imaging of his leg)
Just because he's nuttier than squirrel poop in the Planter's factory, it doesn't mean that he's lying about the pain. There really might be something wrong with the leg. Doubtful it's a satellite controlled chip, but that doesn't rule out something like injury or tumor or whatever.
Xray would be pretty trivial, and metal would show right up
I'd vote to give him an MRI
And it just occurred to me that the whole time I've followed this thread I've been assuming it was a "her". Interesting.
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It is a him.
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... unless he/she/it/xe/whatever declares otherwise.
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Maybe convince him that the satellite is being controlled by someone he trusts, and they've promised to never use it. Trying to talk him out of the delusion is a long, uphill battle, and odds are it's unwinnable. Making it a benign delusion would do wonders for his peace of mind, seems to me.
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It is a him.
How dare you gender assign someone who has clearly been assigned by the satellite...