Post by: 280plus on December 08, 2007, 08:58:22 AM
Forget Rednecks ......here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New
Englanders...
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live
in New England.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you live in New England.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New
England.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you live in New England.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend,
you live in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in
New England.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you live in New England.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you live in New England.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
live in New England.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you live in New England.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you live in New England.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New
England.
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England.
If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England.
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New
England friends & others, you live or have lived in New England
Post by: Manedwolf on December 08, 2007, 09:02:36 AM
Quote
If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England.
There IS! Quote
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you live in New England.
there, you live in New England.
Same with big box stores, if someone is struggling to get a box into their car, people will run up and help.
Quote
f you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
Oh yeah. Definitely.
Quote
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
And the police never get anyone for that. Everyone's in hyperdrive.
Quote
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England.
Went out to the car with a hoodie the other day, was 15 out.
Quote
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you live in New England.
construction, you live in New England.
There's several things that can be alongside the road, depending on the beginning of winter to spring. Inverted SUVs, then snow, then snert (snow, slush, dirt), then traffic cones.
Quote
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live
in New England.
in New England.
Don't bother with those. NH has homemade ice cream stands that also sell "grindahs", lobster rolls, hot dogs and burgers. And yes, they close for the season. Long line at the windows on the last day.
Quote
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you live in New England.
snow, you live in New England.
Except for frost heaves! Someone visiting asked me what "frost heaves" were, having seen a warning sign. I said "It's what happens when the snowmen drink too much iced vodka."
Quote
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
live in New England.
live in New England.
Nahhh...deep-cycle Optima battery. Truck/marine sort for the car. First turn of the key at -25 windchill.
Quote
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you live in New England.
without flinching, you live in New England.
Only two feet?
Quote
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
live in New England.
live in New England.
Halloween is typically a bunch of puffball parkas with witch hats and scary masks.
Quote
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.
you live in New England.
Auto thermostat FTW. If you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes.
Forgot one other typical New Englandism, though...the ability to merge into a fast-moving traffic circle without yielding, despite the squeaks of alarm from visiting passengers.
Post by: 280plus on December 08, 2007, 09:22:38 AM
Post by: Len Budney on December 08, 2007, 09:23:15 AM
Forget Rednecks ......here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...
Golly that takes me back!
Quote
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.
I remember how shocked I was the first time I saw an ice-cream window open in winter. It was in Cortland NY, south of Syracuse, and I was 20.
Quote
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.
Wife, heck! I learned how to use them when I was like 5.
Quote
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
More than one Sunday I've done 110 on I-95 to get to church on time, and had cars pull up behind me and flash their headlights for me to get out of the fast lane.
Quote
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England.
As I recollect, coat-wearing had little to do with temperature. If there was snow on the ground, I wore a coat. Otherwise, no.
Quote
If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England.
The last Dunkin' Donuts within half an hour of my Pittsburgh home recently closed. I'm still in mourning. On the other hand, my childhood home just got a Dunkin' Donuts about 100 yards up the road. (It's located in the brown patch SW of the marker. When I was a kid it was a defunct business of some sort, and we rode bikes in the parking lot.)
--Len.
Post by: Manedwolf on December 08, 2007, 09:28:31 AM
I just did a search. There are 48 Dunkin Donuts within ten miles of where I am right now.
They absorbed the Honeydews, the Chock-full-o-Nuts drive throughs, all of them. Now all coffee places are Dunkin Donuts.
Post by: 280plus on December 08, 2007, 01:59:04 PM
It's true about the Dunkins, the crazy part is the drive thru's are always lined up at all of them, especially in the morning. Of course, if you walk in, the counter is empty.
Post by: member1313 on December 08, 2007, 02:14:08 PM
Post by: Regolith on December 08, 2007, 06:15:01 PM
Quote
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live
in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
These two apply to Nevada, at least the Northern part, in spades.
The one about distance in miles covers pretty much the entire western United States.
The winter ones could apply to any area that is near the Canadian Border. And its a very, very long border.
Post by: stevelyn on December 09, 2007, 04:06:04 AM
Post by: 280plus on December 09, 2007, 09:06:16 AM
Post by: wooderson on December 09, 2007, 10:50:39 AM
Quote
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New
England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
Post by: Perd Hapley on December 09, 2007, 11:47:47 AM
Quote
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England Missouri.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in
New England Missouri.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live inNew England Missouri.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in
Post by: mtnbkr on December 09, 2007, 04:19:15 PM
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you live in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in
New England.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
there, you live in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in
New England.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again,
you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
Have experienced all of these in the South.
Chris
Post by: 280plus on December 09, 2007, 04:30:56 PM
Is it safe to assume that these all apply to everywhere and the only one we can claim fame to is more Dunkin Donut shops per capita than the rest of the country?
Post by: Firethorn on December 09, 2007, 06:05:11 PM
Quote
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
live in New England.
Nahhh...deep-cycle Optima battery. Truck/marine sort for the car. First turn of the key at -25 windchill. live in New England.
What about other people's cars? I generally end up jumping six of them each winter.
I still think it's funny when people see my jumper cables. They'd be enough to jump a semi, though you might want to let them sit for an hour to charge. I only have a coupe.
Post by: Manedwolf on December 09, 2007, 06:39:46 PM
We have a border with Canada? The only one I ever hear about is the one with Mexico. Wonder why that is?
Because the only thing I know of that gets smuggled across the Canadian border regularly is Havana Club rum?
*whistles*...
Post by: MechAg94 on December 09, 2007, 07:22:29 PM
Post by: 280plus on December 10, 2007, 12:26:28 AM
We have a border with Canada? The only one I ever hear about is the one with Mexico. Wonder why that is?
Because the only thing I know of that gets smuggled across the Canadian border regularly is Havana Club rum?
*whistles*...
Post by: CNYCacher on December 10, 2007, 10:46:06 AM
Quote
Nahhh...deep-cycle Optima battery. Truck/marine sort for the car. First turn of the key at -25 windchill.
Since your battery is not a heat-generating organism that perceives temperature by the rate at which heat is being transferred across it's skin, it doesn't feel, nor is it affected by windchill.
Post by: Firethorn on December 10, 2007, 11:16:36 AM
Quote
Nahhh...deep-cycle Optima battery. Truck/marine sort for the car. First turn of the key at -25 windchill.
Since your battery is not a heat-generating organism that perceives temperature by the rate at which heat is being transferred across it's skin, it doesn't feel, nor is it affected by windchill.
Good point. My factory original, non-optima battery cranks over my car at a very much real -30F.
Post by: El Tejon on December 10, 2007, 11:19:40 AM
There's even one in Chinatown in Boston right down the road from my hotel where we stay.
They may be dirty crapholes (doesn't anyone in NE know how to use a mop?) but at least DD has good coffee.
Post by: 280plus on December 10, 2007, 11:22:11 AM
Post by: Manedwolf on December 10, 2007, 11:39:03 AM
Frickin' Dunkin' Donuts.
There's even one in Chinatown in Boston right down the road from my hotel where we stay.
They may be dirty crapholes (doesn't anyone in NE know how to use a mop?) but at least DD has good coffee.
There's even one in Chinatown in Boston right down the road from my hotel where we stay.
They may be dirty crapholes (doesn't anyone in NE know how to use a mop?) but at least DD has good coffee.
Ones near me are pretty clean. Chinatown in general seems to have an aversion to mops, at least, the new stores. The cleanest shops were the mom-and-pop ones in the 18th century brick rowhouses that got demolished to make room for that new bland, postmodern $$$$ condo tower here now.
BTW, go to Eldo Cake House, it's the only good bakery left there now. Awesome stuff. Best Asian bakery in Boston, though, is the Japonaise bakery in either Brookline or the kiosk in Porter Square Exchange. I ask people to bring me stuff from there, shoku pan loaves and their Azuki Cream Puff that has won awards, it's like a perfect dessert.
Also, the Pho place on one of the backstreets is better...facing some bank across the street. (If it's mostly locals and has Chinese and Vietnamese and Korean newspapers at the counter, it's better). The one facing the condo tower is for tourists.
Post by: El Tejon on December 10, 2007, 11:48:13 AM
Have not been in any other DDs (in Massachusetts or New Hampshire [never been to NH]). I do know that when DD recently came back to Indianapolis, they pledged to ensure that they were clean. DDs were run out of Indy years ago as they were all crapholes.
I know I'm an uptight Midwesterner so my standards on cleanliness are probably unrealistic.
Post by: El Tejon on December 10, 2007, 11:51:55 AM
There's a couple of excellent Chinese bakeries near me at home, but it's always better when you travel!
Is that the Pho place by the T station? That's one of my faves in Chinatown. The guys like Tawain Cafe but that's because the owner knows Yang and treats us like family. I don't mind the food but would prefer Vietnamese grub (don't tell Dr. Yang).
Post by: Manedwolf on December 10, 2007, 12:33:06 PM
Post by: El Tejon on December 10, 2007, 12:49:11 PM
Maybe someday. Yang leaves for the mountains soon. I'd like to go to Boston and do all the touristy things we have not done for the past 11 years. Take a girl and go see Bunker Hill, Cambridge, go for a whale tour, that kind of stuff.
But . . . considering last year I almost got mugged in Boston Commons, maybe I should go somewhere safe--like the Southside of Chicago.
Post by: K Frame on December 10, 2007, 12:50:58 PM
I don't live in New England. I grew up in Pennsylvania.
And quite a few of them apply to us, as well...
Post by: Manedwolf on December 10, 2007, 12:55:01 PM
Porter Square? We don't get out to Cambridge.
Maybe someday. Yang leaves for the mountains soon. I'd like to go to Boston and do all the touristy things we have not done for the past 11 years. Take a girl and go see Bunker Hill, Cambridge, go for a whale tour, that kind of stuff.
But . . . considering last year I almost got mugged in Boston Commons, maybe I should go somewhere safe--like the Southside of Chicago.
Maybe someday. Yang leaves for the mountains soon. I'd like to go to Boston and do all the touristy things we have not done for the past 11 years. Take a girl and go see Bunker Hill, Cambridge, go for a whale tour, that kind of stuff.
But . . . considering last year I almost got mugged in Boston Commons, maybe I should go somewhere safe--like the Southside of Chicago.
Well, that's a given. Only tourists go to Boston Commons, and the muggers know that. Go to Boston Commons, and you'll get mugged. The police are ineffectual.
Since everyone but the criminals is disarmed, it's a city of victims, and the only way to keep safe is to let other people look like victims...don't look like a tourist, no visible camera, look alert and be aware of your surroundings. They want easy targets, so they'll pick someone else. NOT a safe place. Also, homeless people tend to go from asking for money to going all twitchy and going after people, meth or what, I have no idea, so it's best to cross the street.
Fanueil Hall is a bit better just because it's so busy, but watch out for pickpockets there. There's also a walking tour of the historic spots that's safe because it's a large group. And, of course, the Duck tours are fun. You drive around in a WWII vintage DUKW that goes into the Charles River for part of the way. Only one has sunk.
Best way to stop in places in Cambridge is to do the horns-blaring aggressive-low-speed-driving like the locals, park in the pay lots close to a destination.
Also, best whale watches are out of Gloucester, not Boston. It's also neat to see all the fishing boats going out of there, plus the boat used in "A Perfect Storm" is there as a memorial. Neat statue, too, of the guy in a slicker and hat with his hand on a helm, and the plaque "They that go down to the sea in ships."
Battleship Cove is worth a trip. WWII battleship, fully restored, plus a captured Soviet missile cruiser.
Other stuff in the state, Salem is mostly t-shirt shops, but the Peabody-Essex is an excellent museum there. As far as quieter seaside communities, come up to Portsmouth, NH instead. There's the Smuttynose Brewery restaurant on the old cobblestone shopping street where you can get freshly made beers they don't sell anywhere else, boat tours of the old waterfront and naval yards, the restored Strawberry Banke area (like Williamsburg) plus you can be legally armed, unlike MA.